gonna grow you a place safer than this

small dicks are good. medium dicks are good. large dicks are good. circumcised dicks are good. uncircumcised dicks are good. intersex dicks are good. trans dicks are good. tdicks are good. phalloplasty dicks are good. metoidioplasty dicks are good. women's dicks are good. men's dicks are good. nonbinary people's dicks are good. all dicks are good. dicks with erectile dysfunction are good. there's never anything wrong with having a dick, it doesn't mean anything about your personality or behavior, and they don't have to look, behave or be any type of way. variety is good, live a little

i couldnt survive in a sitcom

so many characters are just dicks for absolutely no reason and i would. simply have to punch them. the way people treat each other in like every single sitcom makes me so angry and i would be on full punch mode all the time and go to comedy jail

I need you to know that I would emphatically and without question pay real human dollars to watch a season of ‘Friends’ where you appear to routinely beat the shit out of Ross Geller

just so everybody knows i have literally no idea why my blog shows as deactivated in the reblog. my working theory is that half of me is currently in the friends universe beating the shit out of ross geller

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

the time is now

hell yeah

ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

it’s called the purple ramjet

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

shove a vase up your ass

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

i call it the matterhorn

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

I call this one the Megahorny

Just cram an entire table lamp up there

Me every time this post crosses my dash:

Omg there's fucking more

How does this post keep on getting longer

i just saw a fb post where a man was arguing with a woman about the best way to make macarons and he kept insisting that she was wrong, and then eventually he was like “I’ve never personally made macarons, but if you think about it what I’m saying makes sense, i’m simply stating the obvious. i’m sure there are plenty of youtube tutorials that would show you the same thing.” and the woman replied by linking him to her instagram business page and she makes fuckin macaron towers for parties for a living and i’ve been laughing about it for a solid 5 minutes.

Men automatically assume they’re more of an expert on something than any woman on account of their dicks. I’ve never met such an ignorant and narcissistic creature as a male

I’ll never forget a time when a fb friend of mine posted that she’s on her way to hospital to give birth. Women commented with “good luck” and other encouraging messages. A man’s comment was advice on how to give birth. 

You have got to be kidding me

So I was talking about Jekyll & Hyde (the book) at a writer’s museum while we were looking at an Robert Louis Stevenson exhibit. I was giving my take on Jekyll, and my brother tried to counter it. I countered back easily, and then he said “well I’ve never read the book”

My dude………..stop

my ex, whose baking experience was pretty much limited to frying premade biscuit dough in boy scouts to make ‘donuts’, would constantly try to correct me or give me advice on baking

i’m a fucking pastry chef

met a dude at a party who was talking about physics and asked if i’d ever listened to any online physics lectures bc he listened to all of this one series and they were so helpful and maybe i could learn some physics too

i have a degree in physics

and am a published coauthor in astrophysics

the best part is that the woman who invented the term ‘mansplaining’ (her name is Rebecca Solnit and i highly recommend her collection of essays) came up with it when she was at a party one night and a man tried to explain a book to her, and wouldn’t let her speak long enough for her to tell him that

she wrote the bloody book he was mansplaining to her

You know I have plenty examples of this but that last one takes the cake so imma just let it be.

Yeppp

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

HOLY SHIT 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣