Post-Apocalyptic AU where Dean and Cas happen to find each other - a couple of survivors in a world that’s been all but wiped clean. Dean’s looking for his brother; Cas is looking for something to look for. they stick together, because neither of them much wants to be alone.
they hate each other at first, of course. Dean hates Cas for being weird and quiet and ironic and antagonistic and proud - hates his stupid rough voice in the morning, hates the way he carries around a flask filled with tea (how does he even make it? like there’s still a fucking Target in this hellhole to go to and pick up iced tea?). Cas hates Dean for being blunt and reckless and coarse, for drinking so much, for refusing to talk about how he feels and just pretending everything is fine. most of all, they hate themselves and each other just for being alive. what right do they have to be alive? no one else seems to be.
and then Dean runs into a building that’s collapsing to pull Cas out and save his life, and the recklessness doesn’t seem so bad. and then Cas’ humour starts to make sense to Dean, and the dry irony isn’t so terrible. Dean starts to look forward to hearing hello, Dean in that rough voice in the mornings. Cas stays up late most nights and drinks with Dean - not to be drunk, but just to feel companionship. to talk.
one night, Cas tells Dean that before the apocalypse, he was a librarian. Dean laughs himself almost to tears - because he’d thought Cas, muscular and tan and strong and silent and tactical Cas, was ex-military. and he was just a librarian. he laughs and laughs and quite abruptly falls in love.
Cas loved Dean at first sight - loved and hated him, both, for being in existence, for meaning he wasn’t alone - but he doesn’t fall in love with Dean until the day they find a rabbit, one ear torn and bleeding, squeaking in fright and trapped under rubble, and Dean takes it calmly into his big hands and murmurs hey, hey, hey as he sets it free.
one night, they set fire to a bunch of cars and kindling in an abandoned city - as a beacon, yes, and for warmth - not just for their bodies, for their hearts. they need to be able to hope, and the fire helps somehow. they end up just standing before the tower of flame, and grabbing each other’s hands. when the embers are low and no one has come and it’s dark, they kiss for the first time.
and onwards they travel. maybe they’ll find Sam, maybe they won’t. maybe there’s still other people alive out there, maybe there aren’t. they’re angry and sad and broken and lost and hurting, always hurting - except for in the very early mornings. in the rosy dawns, when they wake up in each other’s arms, there’s no pain. everything is soft and warm.
they stay alive. they go on.
