I do sometimes feel a bit between worlds in aro spaces as someone who is both aro & ace, but views them as entirely distinct identities.
Over the years, there's been a shift from "aro ace" (with a space) to "aroace" (no space) in popular usage. And I get that for a lot of people, it is a single entity. And even absent that, that it's a bit silly to quibble over a space. But for me personally, it feels as nonsensical to combine into one as, say, my height and my religion. Both true, sure, but way out of left field.
And of the two, my aromanticism is vastly more important to me than my asexuality. My being ace is a footnote vs my being aro is a multi-volume saga. And given that, I get the frustration from alloaros or non-SAM aros about the conflation of the two. Aro and ace represent a single identity for some, but in the broad scheme, they are distinct.
But I feel like an intruder weighing into those conversations, because I am the guy that's both. I don't know what it's like to be alloaro or non-SAM aro and have that be erased or demonized. But on the other hand, I'm aro first and ace like....eighth, so I often feel myself relating more to the thoughts/experiences of non-ace aros than my fellow aro aces.
So I end up in this sort of counterintuitive venn diagram scenario, wherein I am in the middle, yet somehow feeling more alone for it. And I just never know how to talk about that without feeling like simultaneously I'm overstepping non-ace aros and accidentally snubbing aroaces.
