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#this changed my perspective on so many ya fantasy novels – @burningcomputerpersona on Tumblr
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gonna grow you a place safer than this

@burningcomputerpersona

Currently obsessed with american pop punk band The Wonder Years. This blog is mostly just a collection of things that I'm interested in at the moment, whether it's music or a new fandom or just queer memes in general. I'll probably appear once in a while to reblog a bunch of posts about a new obsession that you didn't follow me for and then vanish off into the unknown again. Current interests include: the wonder years, spanish love songs, hot mulligan, against me, doctor who, etc.
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tumblr please give me an improbable & outrageous history fact

The death of Franz Ferdinand was an absolute shit show.

There were 7 assassins hired to kill Franz, all were amateurs and 2 had Tuberculosis. All were armed with a gun, a hand held explosive, and a cyanide pill in case they got caught.

The first 2 assassins, the psudo leader of the assassins and a child, were first to have a shot at Franz. Neither took the shot for some reason.

The third assassin, who had TB, was on a bridge a bit ahead of the first 2, he through the explosive, which bounced off the roof of Franz’s car and blew up car behind them because the assassin forgot to account for the fuse length. He then ate this cyanide pill and jumped in the river.

The cyanide pill was out of date and the river was shallow. He flopped in the water like a disappointing fish and violently vomited everywhere.

The fourth assassin, also with TB, was stationed in a sandwich shop in the center of town. He decided to just sit around and see if Franz would come back.(foreshadowing)

Franz, instead of leaving the area where someone tried to assassinate him, stuck around and went to town hall to give his speech. The note cards for said speech were in the blown up car. So he had someone go back and retrieve these bloody note cards from the burning car so Franz could give this speech.

Then, again, instead if leaving the town where someone tried to blow him up, Franz decided to visit those injured in the explosion at the hospital. The chief of security and the mayor made a route that went through a bunch of back roads to avoid going through the center of town, where the car was blown up.

No one told the drivers.

So the Franz and company shipped out, with all but Franz’s car taking the back roads. The chief of security, who was in Franz’s car, stopped the driver in the center of town, right next to the sandwich shop, so they could push the car back and take the back roads because this all happened before reverse was a standard function in cars.

Sandwich shop assassin was still there, and chose violence. He went out, shot Franz, and took a shot at the chief of security, but missed and killed Franz’s wife. He then turned himself in, feeling guilty for killing an innocent woman.

Sandwich assassin turned in all of the other assassins and all were charged.

Psudo leader got the death sentence

The TB bunch both got 20 years, even though they are the only 2 that hurt anyone and sandwich guy actually killed Franz.

The others got 8 years, 6 years, and 2 got 4 years in accordance with their ages as they were under 18.

It would almost be really funny if it didn’t kick off WW1.

Holy shit I looked it up and did the math; all but one of the assassins was under the age of 20.

Why wasn’t I told that WWI was triggered by a group of teenagers???

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