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one thing about me is when i read or watch something and there's an evil child or some sort of monster who was born a monster i'm always going to side with the monster. sorry about your loser parents i would have loved you. skill issue

swamp monster parker 

I like stories where a normal human child is being raised by a sinister supernatural being who is totally malevolent except when it comes to their kid. Those are so much better than the “kids are scary” changeling type horror movies.

Like a perfectly well-adjusted well-mannered friendly child that is like “This is my dad, Surazal. He comes out of the mirrors in dark rooms. He makes really good blood pudding but he’s bad at playing catch. Most people can’t see his corporal form but I can because he says I have special eyes.”

“Mom says that you can stay over but you have to promise not to leave my room between midnight and 1 am. You can play Mario Cart with me! But you have to knock on every closed door in the house before entering just because dad might be in there and if you look upon his visage without drinking the holy fruit juice, you might go crazy or something. Also dad is really excited I have a new friend and he’s going to to make hardtack and mystery stew for us! You’ll love it!”

In high school the kid gets a friend that is an amateur demonologist who initially befriends them in hopes of exorcizing their house but ends up becoming buddies with Surazal too because they crave parental affection.

Surazal stands at the end of the vast dark hallway and says “You Too Have Special Eyes, Little One. You Can See Me Without Being Taken By The Madness. Within You, I Sense Great Turmoil And Sadness. In My Younger Years, I Would Have Exploited The Sadness As Weakness In Your Very Soul. I Would Have Worn Your Skin Like A Mask And Run Through The Village Streets, Supping Blood From Every Man I Encountered. But Now I Have No Use For Woe. Perhaps You Would Like To Watch Beetlejuice In The Family Room With My Daughter While I Prepare Cupcakes. I Am Sensing You Have A Fondness for Red Velvet.”

Monsterfucking is out. Monsterparenting is in.

Why would you hide this in the tags

the bullying teachers are in for a surprise at parent teacher night

hey did you know that uhh

oh shit i didn't expect this to actually get notes lmao

these are all direct quotes from jeffrey jerome cohen's "monster culture (seven theses)" (full pdf linked) i highly encourage you to read it yourself!

that said, while i think cohen's writing is evocative, it can be a little dense, so while i'm here, here's my capsule summary (you can also hear me talk about this in the first episode of my podcast) (listen to @ghostswerepeopletoo)

Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.

Monster that feeds on suffering becomes a professional caretaker for people with chronic pain and terminal illnesses. They can't change the fact that these people are suffering, but they help a bit and in the meantime they're fat and happy off that Sweet Sweet ambient pain in the air.

Two towns over there's a demon lord trying to get their cult to abduct people for torture, but they keep getting stopped by heroes and the like, so they're barely scraping by. Meanwhile Belogarth the Registered PCA is chowing down on back pain, medication side effects and looming mortality for eight hours a day and has become the most powerful demon on earth without realizing it.

"But don't their clients feel weird knowing that they're feeding off their suffering?" No they think it's hilarious and they're real shits about it.

like clockwork

like clockwork

I mean obviously I would fuck a monster but more than that I would bond with a monster over our shared sense of alienation and rejection from a hostile universe. together we would explore our deep-seated fear of being inherently unlovable, and reassure each other of our innate value as sentient beings deserving of love and kindness. i will hold them gently, and wipe the tears from their googly eyestalk-tentacles, and something will begin to heal

*taking out the trash at night* what if there was a monster. lol *walking faster*

Monster/monster slayer romance but it's the monster who just wants to hug and kiss the slayer and the slayer is the one who constantly has to hold himself back from tearing the monster into pieces, and they're both insanely repressed about it. I am LIVING

I'm so normal about them–

Found footage horror movie but instead of the monster attacking the crew it just steals the camera and the rest of the film is the crew chasing the monster to get the camera back

op your mind

im gonna say it.

you cannot separate monsterfucking from queerness.

& for the love of fuck i don't need babygays coming at me with "you're equating being gay with being a monster!" go back to tiktok, this is for the adults.

monsterfucking is so queer bc so many of us feel unlovable, so many of us can't relate to real world affections & attractions. (aces & aros in particular)

so yeah, i wanna fuck that monster, bc deep down, i hope someone will love the monster i think i am.

also monsters are Very Hot & that needs no explanation so.

Any blood-thristy monster:

Me:

thinking about monstrosities and tenderness

sorry for seeing the divine in the monstrous. not my fault.

sorry for making the divine monstrous. that one is my fault i take full credit for it.