☼ ☼ ☼

it didn’t quite make it into the meme, but @nekosd43 requested i draw my favorite taz character! surprise surprise, it’s lucretia, and yes, i still do cry every time i listen to madame director

lucretia adventurezones would not only write fanfiction, but also use the invention of planar travel belts after story and song to update a 110+ year old fic with the most unhinged author's note explaining the delay that the two-sunned planet had ever seen

chapter 14:

a/n:

"hey guys, sorry for missing a chapter last friday :P there was a whole week worth of mandatory training for my new job :( unfortunately, this will happen again, since long story short, this job also means i'll have to go without internet for the next two months. obviously i'll still be able to write, though, so i should have a nice long backlog of stuff to post by the time i get back, don't worry :D"

chapters 15 (uploaded concurrently with chapters 16-347):

a/n:

"hi, everyone. so, if you remember this fic at all in spite of the whole apocalypse thing, you might remember back when i said that the mission was only going to last two months..."

Propaganda under the cut.

Lucretia Adventurezone ily <3

[ID from alt text: A digital painting of Lucretia from The Adventure Zone: Balance. Lucretia is an older Black woman with grey hair. She is wearing a pale blue dress and a matching headscarf. She is turning over her shoulder to face the viewer, smiling slightly. END ID]

to me, the most fascinating (and utterly unintentional) feature of TAZ Balance's narrative structure is the way that on the first listen, Tres Horny Boys are the audience surrogates because they, much like us, have no idea what the fuck is going on, but on all subsequent relistens, then Lucretia, and sometimes Barry, and arguably especially Lup in the umbrella become the new audience stand-ins, because just like us, they are, in fact, painfully aware of what the fuck is going on :)

space milf

went looking through moonlighting/the first few lunar interludes to make myself sad with some of the earlier moments with Madame Director but instead i was just reminded again and again how funny everything she says is and how I Love Lucretia

so true bestie (theyre the besties) (where did lucretia get a cat?????????????)

[Image description: A four panel comic featuring Lucretia from The Adventure Zone: Balance podcast. In the first panel Lucretia is depicted cutting a slice of pie; next to her is a ringing Adventure Zune. In the second panel she has picked it up and wedged it between her shoulder and ear, and is saying, “Lucretia speaking.” She is placing a slice of pie on a plate. In the third panel the person on the other side of the Zune is saying, “Listen, we’re NOT gucci, but I need a dramatic bitch pronto and you’re it. I’m gonna lose it if I have to ut up with fucking SUSAN solo.” Lucretia has frozen in shock, and is halfway to reaching for the Zune with one hand, saying, “…Taako?” The forth panel is a closeup of her wearing a determined expression, and in her hand is the full pie with the cut slice laid back into it. Lucretia is saying, “Uncork the wine. I’ll be there in five minutes. Do you like lemon pie? I’m bringing pie.”]

I'm pretty sure something like this has been done before, but reader, I could not resist

Lucretia ❤️

#taztober day 28: YOU’RE GOING TO WIN!

“See, there’s magic in a bard’s song. They call it inspiration, and it tells the listener what they need to hear right when they need to hear it. And you hear it too”

There's a line of what Lucretia likes to call Conditioned Thoughts that are in her head right now. Reaction thoughts. First thoughts. The things you think of right away, before anything else, before logic and reason have had their time to worm into the discussion.

The secondary thoughts are what she likes to call Real Thoughts, because the first type is what you're trained into thinking, by life, by yourself, by experience, or hatred, or trauma, or whatever, and the second type is what you actually feel.

So her Conditioned Thought, upon seeing Fisher tossing a small, wooden duck between its tentacles, is "oh, Magnus has carved another duck."

And then, "Did I forget to erase Magnus's memories of Fisher?"

Real Thoughts entered after, logic in tow.

You couldn't have forgotten that, logic says plainly, because Johann described their inoculation to you and Magnus couldn't see Fisher until after he drank the ichor.

Of course, Lucretia agrees faintly. She spots Johann himself in his usual spot, writing down notes on a mostly-filled page of sheet music. He glances up when she comes towards him and digs through his papers to shove something in her face before she can speak.

"Any chance you know what this means?" he asks. Lucretia scans it but doesn't get anything out of it.

"No, I-"

"Cause the Voidfish, like, sang it to me," Johann says.

"I don't know. Has-"

"Well, it sang to Magnus, I think," Johann says, sounding a little more put out at that fact. "Like, they were down here yesterday, and like- I've never heard this thing sing before. Have you?"

"Magnus was down here?" she asks. Johann blinks at her.

"For Boyland's rights of remembrance, yeah," Johann says, slowly. "You sent them?"

"Right," Lucretia says, nodding. "Yes, okay. Listen, has Magnus- did he drop off that duck?"

"Oh, that thing?" Johann says, even more depressed. He doesn't even spare a glance at the voidfish, who's now tossing the duck between four different tentacles. "Yeah, I mean, he must have, he's the only one who makes the damn things. Unless someone really didn't like it as a gift but like- It's Magnus, man, who's gonna turn down somethin' from him? Certainly not ol'- ol' fishy over there. And they had like, a whole bonding moment, I dunno-"

"A bonding moment?" Lucretia asks pressingly. "What happened?"

"I mean, the voidfish just kinda- Magnus put his hand up to the glass and the voidfish put a tentacle up to it, so I assumed they were having like- a thing." Johann sighed. "It's never had a thing with me before."

"It's the rustic hospitality," Lucretia says, but she's distracted. She watches as Fisher presses the duck to its bell lovingly, like a hug. Her chest tightens. "Sorry, Johann, I- I just came down here to see if the remembrance went well, I gotta go, uh. I have moon taxes to do."

"Alright," Johann says, looking back down at his sheet music dejectedly. "I get it."

"You're doing great," she says, patting his head and then taking her hand back like she's been burned, but like, casually, when she realizes what she just did. Johann stares.

Lucretia leaves. She's got too much to think about with Fisher and the Hunger approaching to wonder why on earth (or moon, she supposes) she just did that to her employee.