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#baron zeppeli – @bunnyinatree on Tumblr
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andajojo-at-pillowfort

I have been asked before- “Is JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure actually that bizarre?“

Here’s a sampling of some of my favorite things that happen so that you may judge for yourself, and while they may be spoilers, you will likely still be just as “what” as you were already:

  • Man peppers sandwich profusely, then punches a frog. But Wait! The frog was not actually punched. By the power of the sun, you can punch THROUGH frogs. 
  • Vampirism is real and it gives you laser eyes and Ice Man powers that said vampire uses once or twice and then never again.  Because his newer power of stopping time is just that much cooler.  He uses it to throw a fish at a teenager.
  • Man feeds salami to bullets and shoots himself many times.
  • Man with fishing pole causes man to pull own heart out and asks a bullet to put the heart back later.
  • Man throws balls at rat, rat shoots back with a tank turret with darts that melt flesh.
  • A Lego model of the US White House causes everyone in an orchard to get the bends and suffocate.
  • Woman causes spontaneous hair growth to get free food.
  • Part man, part dinosaur uses Jesus of Nazareth’s actual eye to help collect mummified limbs for the President of the US and also maybe win a national horse race.
  • Aforementioned man-dino doesn’t actually naturally have the dinosaur powers, they were given to him like an infection.  His actual power is stopping time.
  • Sponges collide. It gets weird.
  • Artist uses invisible baby to win a game of Rock Paper Scissors with a child.
  • Same artist also kills someone by writing on that person’s hand to use a remote control, in which doing so causes the man to be flung out a window to his death.
  • That artist thinks he killed a god and is now cursed because of it.
  • Man flies airplane into volcano, launches vampire into space.
  • Space vampire has 35 other incarnations of himself on Mars.
  • Florida woman trips off seeing rainbows, thinks everyone is a snail, and thinks snails are lucky because of their ability to fuck.
  • Said woman fights through the 1974 Miami Dolphins to stuff herself into a pipe in order to smack someone.
  • She also gets set on fire by a man in a cow suit.
  • Man is incredulous on whether Disney is real because there’s no Mickey Mouse in the advertisement.
  • Nun shoots meat from an aerosol can to use as a disguise.
  • Man has incredible power of nothing but positive thinking and wins a lot of money because of it.  (He deserved it, too)

THERES SO MUCH MORE so feel free to add to this

OH big one I forgot (thanks to the comments for reminding me)

  • Manpire from 1800s steals adopted brother’s headless body and accidentally impregnates a woman in the 1980s with not-his-own penis, but somehow HIS genes AND stolen penis’s genes combined to make an offspring.
  • The offspring: a teen mafioso who drinks a full teacup of steaming hot piss BUT ITS OKAY- because his teeth were jellyfish, and the jellyfish drank the piss instead.  It is unclear if the jellyfish or piss are still just… in his mouth. Some say they’re still in there, to this day.
  • That mafioso also caused the death of beloved Nintendo character, Mario.
#i can hardly handle this#i love how weird this show gets#and i love that flesh-spraying nun#jjba#i'll tag some characters so i can find this post again#dio brando#diego brando#jotaro kujo#bug-eaten#giorno giovanna#hot pants#rohan kishibe#guido mista#sex pistols#baron zeppeli#kars
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