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#apl – @bunnyinatree on Tumblr
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@bunnyinatree / bunnyinatree.tumblr.com

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fallenrain40

gosh, figuring out i am aplspec (greyplatonic) and loveless is so amazing honestly, cause it helps me finally understand why certain phrases always bothered me so much. specfically, when aroaces would defensively say "I'm not loveless!" or "I'm not heartless!" like, yeah I get why they say those things. you wouldn't want to be seen as loveless or heartless if you aren't, especially not in a world where those things are often seen as literal insults. but yet, it still bothered me. why did they feel the need to emphasize so much that they "can still feel SOME things!!" ? why would it be an issue if they DIDN'T feel those things? why would it be an issue if they were loveless or heartless? just becuase you don't feel love for someone does NOT automatically mean you feel hatred for them, right? it doesn't even mean you dislike them. you can reject someone simply becuase you don't see them romantically, but you can still like them. why is it suddenly different when it comes to all feelings? sure, i don't feel much for others, but that doesn't mean i want harm to come upon them! why would i? i just don't feel anything. and, I do still CARE about people in GENERAL, like yeah i don't want people to get hurt because. that is wrong? but that doesn't mean i LOVE them. i really don't get how that's so difficult to understand. and there's a lot of other feelings besides love. there's respect, admiration, and care. there's so much... why is the focus always placed on love? and just moving your focus on love down a notch from romantic to platonic, isn't helping anything. i mean yeah, platonic love is pretty cool, friendships are cool, but we don't need to act like it's the sole meaning of life. you are still implying you need to love someone to live. you are still implying that everyone feels some form of love, which is so not true. srry this got kind of rambly haha. tbh i just think it's super cool that aplatonic and loveless are actual words and are things that other people can actually understand and relate to. i'm just like... there's other people who feel like i do?? really?? i always expected that if i told others "i don't really... feel much for other people. i dont care about them the way i think i'm supposed to." that i'd be called a bad person. it's just really really cool that there are accpeting people out there that WONT call be a bad person for this aspect of myself, and WONT try to make me change it (cause like. i cant change it. i cant make myself feel a feeling that i DONT HAVE). i just wish that the majority were more accepting of people like us.

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It's always "aros can still date!" "aros can still be in (any type of non-romantic or romantic) relationships!" "aros aren't heartless!" "aros can still love in different ways!"

Well, sure, you do you.

But not all of us. A lot of us are *completely* non-partnering. There's loveless aros. Aplatonic aros. Hell, even heartless is a label some aros use!

We don’t need to do anything to "replace" the romantic relationships we don’t have. People can be completely happy alone! Without a partner! (Shocking, I know!)

I'm just a bit tired of all the amatonormativity I still see under some of the trending aro-positivity posts...

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kissimirrit

actually, while i’m on the topic of aromanticism: i find it funny there are aphobes who hear about loveless aros and aplatonic folk and go “uhm there’s no such thing, that’s just major depression. get therapy.” but finding the loveless aro community and identifying as loveless has made me feel 100x more confident and more secure in my aromanticism? it has strengthened my ability to build and maintain friendships, because i now understand that not feeling platonic love or any other kind of love doesn’t make me some flaky, fake excuse of a person— it just means i don’t experience some emotions that others might. and i can better navigate those experiences instead of feeling guilty and like i’m some horrible, irredeemable person. it sincerely has given me a brighter outlook with how i interact with others socially and build friendships.

i don’t NEED to compensate for something i don’t feel, i can simply just exist as i am.

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