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#animal ethology – @buffriday-with-the-bees on Tumblr
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lrthreads: multi-fandom side blog

@buffriday-with-the-bees / buffriday-with-the-bees.tumblr.com

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IM LAUGIHNG HARDER THAN EVER RIGHT THIS SECOND

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thischick25

Reblogging this again because Chris just made me realize that sheep are so stupid that I can’t even think like them:

These sheep? They are actually running away from the car.

They are so stupid that they’re following each other in a circle around the thing they are running from.

SHEEPNADO

when your group cohesion is set higher than your flee response distance.

Moshpit

This is actually called a sheep cyclone and it happens because sheep don’t have a hierarchy. In most herds, whichever animal is the leader will sense danger and take off running. The rest of the herd takes it’s cues from the leader and follows. Sheep, on the other hand, don’t have a leader. If the flock runs, they run, and they follow whatever fluffy tail happens to be in front of them. Usually, this works out fine for the sheep. Occasionally, however, the sheep in the front starts following the fluffy tail of the sheep in the back so the whole flock ends up running in circles, going nowhere fast.

sheeps are morons lmao

is this what the doggos are for

This is, to my understanding, excactly WHY we have both herding and livestock guardian dogs.  Sheep are… really amazingly dumb most of the time.  

Then, once in a while, you get one sheep that’s Entirely Too Cunning and that’s when all hell breaks loose.

…that sounds like a horror story

I have been informed by those who study domestic animal behaviour that it’s not so much that they’re stupid with the occasional intelligent one, as that their priorities are so different from our priorities - in part because we did things like deliberately breed dominant traits out of them over thousands of years - that you have to change how you think about how they work at all. 

The one, major, overwhelming priority of sheep: Stay With The Herd. This is why you get sheepnados: every single sheep is doing his or her devoted best to stay with the herd. So the sheep runs out of the way … .to the rest of the herd. At which point the other sheep follow it and … .you get sheepnado. 

The sheepnado continues in part because there’s nothing to stop it: the car doesn’t actually present a clear and present threat (none of the sheep have been hurt), and there’s no farmer or dog to take that lead position and give them direction. It’s ore or less succeeding at what it needs to, which is that no sheep are being run down by the car, but, THE HERD IS STAYING TOGETHER. 

If you want to see how smart a sheep gets, take it away from the herd. 

(And if you think about this, it makes perfect sense: “stay with the herd” has HUGE SELECTION PRESSURE on it for domestic sheep. Domestic sheep who stray, die without reproducing. Domestic sheep that get stroppy with the farmer or interfere with the leadership of farmer and his dogs … die, usually without reproducing. Domestic sheep that Stay With The Herd? Usually live and reproduce. The herd becomes ALL IMPORTANT. It’s not that they don’t know they’re running in circles, it’s that running in circles achieves The Goal.

It’s not that sheep have no survival instincts: it’s that we as a species have actually redirected their survival instincts in one overwhelming direction, and evolution is a messy kludge.) 

And then if you want to give yourself a head-trip, combine this with those Humans Are Weird SF posts and start wondering what kind of behaviours WE have that could look, to an alien with a very different priority set, as stupid as sheepnado.  

I mean really, AS A SPECIES: full-contact team sports. 

We expend lifetimes of effort and time and energy to risk catastrophic life-and-quality-of-life-threatening injury (concussion, broken neck, broken collar bone, broken face … ), in order to chase a ball around the field. Never mind the sheer level of engineering, money and resources necessary to make a hockey rink

And the spectators are even worse. People spend huge amounts of resources going to strange places in order to sit in the stands and watch people do the above

I don’t really think we have that much ground to mock sheepnado. 

Actual sheep expert here! (Like, my doctoral thesis contains three years of sheep behavioural experiments)

I think the mistake everyone is making here is assuming these sheep are scared. Note the guy by the wall. If they were scared of humans or cars that’d be sufficient to not only break the tornado but also have them running for the hills. The problem is basically they are not scared enough.

Let me explain!

So you know your personal space bubble, right? You are likely to feel very threatened when that stranger at the party moves in too close and take a step back to keep him at bay. Also, no one likes sitting right next to someone at a cinema or on the train unless the other seats are taken, right? So sheep have that, but it applies to non-sheep that are pinged as possible predators. Cows have it too. Makes sense, right? Anyone who gets in too close who you don’t know is likely to be a predator, regardless of your species.

This personal space bubble might be, oh, say, ½ a kilometre in size if they live in the middle of the outback with 2000 of their buddies and see a human once a season for medication, but are otherwise left to their own devices. Most of the time though it’s far smaller, and there isn’t really one for members of their flock, although if there’s no threats around they’ll spread out to graze across an entire paddock, staying close to their bffs.

(Tangent: the CSIRO found out in the 70s or 80s, by use of some guy, binoculars and countless manhours, that yes, sheep tend to hang out with the same sheep again and again when people aren’t running around scaring them. They may look alike to you or I but they recognise each others faces, just like we do!)

ANYWAY. Say you’re a person coming in to herd them. They’ll ignore you until you get close to the boundaries of that personal space bubble then the ones nearest to you will start looking at you nervously in a, “Gosh, that guy better not be moving towards me. Sandra, do you think he’s coming towards us?” kind of way, and will be trying to decide whether to go or stay - just like one might when the creeper comes into the party and starts walking towards you.

Now, the leader sheep, that they all follow? She’s not the smartest or most independent one, she’s the one with the smallest personal space bubble and the distance you’ve walked to get the others nervous is close enough to get her unhappy. She’ll run in the direction opposite to you. In which case her supportive buddies flocking instincts kick in and they go, “Oh shit, Sandra thinks it’s a threat. Cluster up, girls!” and all zoom off together, away from the threat. Sandra has no idea where she’s going, she’s scared, but if another predator turns out to be in the direction they’re running the flock will split and run on either side of them to merge again, rather crowd at the train station around a pylon kind of way.

(Tangent: In low stress stock handling, the welfare gold star modern method of livestock handling, we take advantage of this by teaching sheep their boundaries will be respected. We move to the edges of their their flight zone - that is, personal space bubble - and let them move away, letting them learn that we will not push too much or hurt them. If they gently keep pace we’ll steer them towards the yard with food while respecting their wishes to not be near us. They don’t get scared, and no one - us or them - accidentally gets hurt by a panicked stamped)

Returning to the above photo! The problems start if they are so used to you the flight zone is tiny. You’re an adopted member of the flock, they actually are cool with you being at arms distance. You can’t cuddle them, you’re not an actual sheep, but you have to really get close, go, “OI! MOVE IT LADIES!” and wave your arms around to get them moving, because they know you’re not a threat. Same applies to cars actually. And they can tell motors apart by sound. The ute is kinda boring, but the tractor or gator? Holy shit, food delivery time!

And that is how we’ve ended up with sheepnados around the gator, which we were using because it was a four wheel drive and the ute would get bogged, but I had experiments to do. And they decided this meant food and bailed me up until I fed them. I didn’t even have more than a bucket on me. I had to run ahead, sprinkling it like bird seed to get them to move, so we wouldn’t accidentally kill them. Annnnnnd I’ll bet you anything that the sheep in the picture were used to being fed by exactly the same kind of ute, if not by the same one, and the poor driver is trying to inch forward to get to town but the sheep are just FRIEND? FOOD FRIEND? HI FRIEND. FOOD NOW? NOW?

Supporting visual evidence? Look at how there’s no running away from the car, when ute herding, complete with horn beeping is actually a very common way to herd flocks. Look at how the ute is miserably inching forward, giving them a clear direction to run, but they are so not scared that at the moment flocking instinct has kicked in but not enough panic to actually direct it. I Imagine the driver is honking like crazy, to no avail. Look at the random terrifying predator human by the wall, who is sensibly turning his back to the sheep, because if the predator has his back turned you can run behind him! But no sheep is utilising the supplied alternate route. Yeah, these guys aren’t scared, this is an armed robbery of an empty pizza delivery truck.

ALSO! Posters higher up in the thread, please stop saying sheep are stupid? They’re not! Just panicky and scared of us! I’ve taught sheep to solve mazes and remember the route days later. You can teach them stuff in a day that takes a month to teach monkeys! If you’ve ever frozen up in an exam or while public speaking, surely you’d know how hard it is to be smart when you’re frightened? The first step to intelligence testing a sheep is to either automate everything - or do what I did and more or less raise them from birth so they bail you up for cuddles when they see you, and follow you as leader sheep. Downside? They will learn to open multiple kinds of gates just to follow you, and any sheep you take with you to put in the maze, half a kilometre down the road because GUYS YOU FORGOT US!!! :D :D :D (“Sheep, no, stop! I left you there to get shorn! It’s SUMMER, you’re HOT, please stay here for your haircut! You’ve finished the maze, you know the route too well! I can’t give you reward treats when we’ve established that you’ve memorised it, that’s cheating!”) Or, you know, become impossible to herd and mill around you, and your car, because they want to hang out and have no sense of urgency.

THERE YOU GO EVERYONE. SHEEP: EXPLAINED . XDXD

I am left with the urge to see a sheepnado play ice hockey.

… they’d probably finish about fifth in my eight-team league.

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koryos

all right guys here it is THE BIG GAY ANIMAL SEX POST

or in other words, “Why Nonhuman Homosexual and Asexual Behavior has both Survival and Reproductive Benefits” aka that lit review i’d like to write if i could ever be arsed to get around to it

yes reproductive benefits you heard correctly we’re gonna get there but first we better do a basic rundown of what I mean by homosexual/asexual behaviors

IRREVERENT DISCUSSION OF ANIMAL SEX BEHIND CUT YOU’VE BEEN WARNED

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