fast depressarini’s

me every time I step into my therapist’s office:

I’m finally writing a post-8x06/post-8x07 fic. Say hooray (or not, I guess) lmao

just gotta say… 1.0 Eddie Diaz would have probably let Buck call Tommy, but 2.0-Finding-My-Joy-Homosexual-In-Progress-Eddie Diaz steals Buck’s phone.

THAT’S THE CHARACTER GROWTH WE WANT IN OUR MAN 💖💓💗💞

maddie and chimney are this 🤏🏻 close to shoving buck and eddie into a closet and lock them into it until they admit their feelings, I CAN FEEL THAT

evan has never been enough. evan hurt himself begging for his parents’ affection. evan hurt himself because he desperately wanted to be seen. evan did everything right and yet it was never enough. evan desperately wanted someone to see him and choose him and love him no matter what. so eventually evan left, because there was never really a place for him. evan never fit in a box so he went and made the box himself. but this is buck’s box, not evan’s. evan is buried deep deep deep, because evan grew up with buck but still carries the wounds of an unloved child. but then eddie diaz knocked on the box, carefully, slowly, and then dove right into it, barged into every corner of it without asking for permission. and buck found that there are still so many pieces of evan left in the box. but as he looked around in the box, he found that, with eddie, evan could also come up from time to time, on his own terms, and eddie would be okay with that. then eddie went and “because evan”-ed him and buck felt like suddenly the box was all evan’s but it was weirdly okay. eddie saw evan and still loved buck. eddie maybe knows how to love evan too. then tommy came along and completely ignored the box, dismissed it, belittled it. and buck found himself spending less and less time in the box that he has carefully constructed for himself, to the point that he convinced himself that he could live outside of it, maybe without it. but all it took was a five minute conversation for tommy to remind him that evan has never been good, that evan has never been loved, that nobody has ever seen evan. except… oh. maybe he can get back to the box because that’s the place he belongs. he belongs in the box, with eddie who loves evan as much as he loves buck, who has always seen evan and has always seen buck. he goes back to his carefully crafted box and realizes that it is his only chance at love, for him and evan. so when eddie looks totally out of it and high and drunk on an uncharacteristic joy, buck just stays because in the box evan is simply shrugging and saying well, this is where we belong, where we both belong. this is their box now, and it’s okay. they are okay.

I want to get him into a tiny glass cookie jar so nothing can hurt him ever again

I updated GLASS DOORS 🚨

it’s not a drill— I really did it

To make sure you forgive me for how long it’s taking me, I’m giving you a cupcake: 🧁 (Buck made it! With Jee!)

Eddie Diaz needs to hurry up and pepper this boy’s face with infinite kisses.