“ugh, so i would blow up a couple boroughs for her if it came down to it. whatever. doesn’t mean i have feelings. especially not for her. she’s like super annoying and every time she so much as talks i want to jump her, i mean jump on her, and aggressively shut her up. with my mouth. because it’s the only thing that works. i’m sameen shaw, a trained operative, i am immune to root and her bouncy hair and her ballerina body and her bright eyes and her brilliant witty quips and the danger and excitement she infuses into everything she touches and the lil pout she has when she’s cross and the way she makes eating an apple look like porn. i am totally 100% immune. these grenades aren’t FOR HER. they’re for the mission. god Harold ur so clueless.”
Me, reading the block of script under this: haha! funny! I wonder who wrote it and if they have any fics I could---
Me, seeing who wrote it: ... oh.