brightly brightly

#shaw [angrily filling a backpack with ten thousand grenades]: i have absolutely no feelings for root.

“ugh, so i would blow up a couple boroughs for her if it came down to it. whatever. doesn’t mean i have feelings. especially not for her. she’s like super annoying and every time she so much as talks i want to jump her, i mean jump on her, and aggressively shut her up. with my mouth. because it’s the only thing that works. i’m sameen shaw, a trained operative, i am immune to root and her bouncy hair and her ballerina body and her bright eyes and her brilliant witty quips and the danger and excitement she infuses into everything she touches and the lil pout she has when she’s cross and the way she makes eating an apple look like porn. i am totally 100% immune. these grenades aren’t FOR HER. they’re for the mission. god Harold ur so clueless.”

Me, reading the block of script under this: haha! funny! I wonder who wrote it and if they have any fics I could---

Me, seeing who wrote it: ... oh.

root has obtained a shiny orb from ikea and shaw has to assemble all the new furniture

i am sitting on the couch, i hear tapping on the door behind me, i turn around and see this

what do i do

he is here….

i still lose it every time i see this post because someone let a fucking goose into their house just because tumblr said to and if that doesn’t perfectly define all of our experiences on this shitty excuse for a website i dont know what does  

How else would you pet the goose if you did not let him in?

I used to let my turkey free range because she was polite and stuck nearby and liked to eat bugs, and one day I went out and I couldn’t find her in my own yard and so, worried that she’s bothering the neighbors, I walk over to their yard through the little woods between us

And there she is

Standing at their back door

Tapping on the glass

And the lady comes to the door, and mind you I’ve never actually met my neighbors yet, and she starts letting Joslin into her house!

So I yell, and burst out of the trees, startling everyone, and start apologizing for my bird bothering them, and the lady looks absolutely baffled

“Your bird?”

Apparently this wasn’t the first time Joslin had done this

Apparently she’d just been over visiting my neighbor for weeks

And my neighbor just dead-ass thought she was hanging out with a wild turkey

She just let an entire wild turkey into her house without question

And my dumb bird apparently would just go in, inspect everything, and then walk out again

I cannot even imagine what this lady was thinking, she just accepted that she’s getting a house inspection from mother nature a few times a week.

I’m not surprised at all someone let a farm goose in. Humans have no sense of self preservation when it comes to things that we might get to pet.

So cute

TIL: the bra budget for the L Word was $34 per season.

Root + Reductress

A. imagine your otp

B. dear gods this country has massive issues

I’ve been looking for this post for ages

listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.

They started out trying to fuck unfair tax laws, but they ended up falling in love. 

Ha! so cute.

my Shoot feels, performed through interpretive dance, by the Hendrixes.

Tumblr has informed me that this post is NSFW. I’ve seen worse ads on billboards. Fuck you tumblr, you crusty granny panty.

Stills of Interest

Asylum (4x21)

when it's just easier to dictate your incredibly graphic paragraph-long sexts

Shoot fantasy/magic au

Chapter 7: Tavern

Rating: E

Fandom: Person of Interest

Relationship: Root/Sameen Shaw

Chapters: 7/?

mind the rating bump

I am thiiiiiirsty for this fic.

a collab with @asleepinawell who did the writing

wow. love this

i made a new meme

i wish everything was quieter and softer and less often

even orgasms? 😱