Caught in her own web...

YEAH.

Zelda, watching Link use the master sword to cut grass:

Fi, spirit of the Master Sword, being used by Link to cut grass:

Women sitting like THIS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

How y’all ain’t add the goat 🐐

But also

Let ya coochie breathe ladies

Some would argue that it’s “unladylike”, but the truth is that they just cannot handle the raw power that a woman sitting like this emits

I hate that I laughed at this

“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” and another one appears. And dodges the downward sweep of claws, darting to the side, bouncing off the pentagram’s barriers, and tripping over the demon’s tail. “In the Vatican!” she cries out as she moves, using the State Farm Agent summoning charm to modify the situation as she was taught, and mentally thanking her trainer for expecting her to be fast enough to do it on the first incantation.

Most State Farm agents, when they run into trouble, have to get the customer to do the jingle a second time. That guy with the buffalo was lucky.

The magic takes hold, and she materializes in the aisle of St. Peter’s Basilica, still holding the demon by the tail, in the middle of Sunday morning Mass. The music clatters unprofessionally to a halt as laypeople, deacons, priests, monks, nuns, and the Pope all turn their attention to the surprised demon whose fifth course of dinner has turned, unaccountably, into a visit to one of his least favorite places on Earth.

There is chanting in Latin, and vaguely cross-shaped gestures, and clouds of incense, and the demon vanishes in a puff of smoke, whether from the efforts of the clergy or of his own volition no one can say. The Agent doesn’t wait, fleeing towards the doors and escaping in the confusion.

She gains the exit and walks, purposefully, toward Rome proper; there, she ducks into the nearest alley. A burner cell phone comes out of one of the less-used pockets of her purse, and she dials a number from memory.

“Allstate,” says a smooth masculine voice after three rings.

“State Farm,” she answers. “I’m calling in a favor.”

“Yeah?” Interest. “What sort?”

As she talks she’s pulling out her smartphone, keying an app that was activated by the summoning, and pulling up the policyholder data that enabled the incantation to work.

“Insurance fraud,” she said, and can almost hear teeth sharpening on the other end of the line. She gives him the name, the address, the policy number. “Someone needs some mayhem.”

“That’s my name,” the man says.

She smiles. “Someone needs all the mayhem.”

He chuckles. Slow. Evil. Even with the echoes of demonic laughter ringing in her ears, she’s impressed. “Don’t worry,” he says, almost purring.

“You’re in good hands.”

OH MY FUCKING GOD I just read insurance commercial fan fiction and it was so good, bless you, I’m going to remember this day forever.

💖 Luxury Artisan Handcrafted Heels 💖

Golden Bunny / Bambi / Sweetheart / Geometry / Pineapple / Flamingo

The second I saw these funky lil dudes I felt my brain get a rush of serotonin

I’m pretty sure I, a grown ass woman, was squeaking with joy during this whole scene

IM GOING TO FUCKING CRY.

ILL TAKE FIFTY

GIRLS WITH BROWN EYES ARE JUST SO PRETTY AND I JUST

Excuse me but uhhh @rosesaregayy 😘😘😘

Dyjffjkhddbju Ily so much thank you babe💗💖💗💖💟

a moment of silence for all the internet friends who you lost track of years ago and still think about sometimes 

Reblog if you’re polyamorous, support polyamorous people, or think polyamorous people and relationships are valid

I’m actually crying right now because it isn’t often that I see poly positive posts. Thank you so much for this.

You’re welcome. 💙

Reblog this to make someone like that person’s day

I am a polyamorous little, and it’s actually terrifying for me to say that because I know I will get hate for it but it’s who I am and I can’t change who I am..

My mom is poly.

— Hanamoto Hagumi, Honey and Clover (via goodreadss)

Ship dynamics

Relationships are scary and complicated ONLY when you start thinking of your partner as some kind of adversary. 

You know how to stop being scared of relationships? Remember that it’s got a goddamn buddy system *built in*. That’s all a relationship IS: “Let’s approach life with the buddy system.”

Check on your buddy. Make sure your buddy doesn’t forget their lunch box on the schoolbus. Hold hands with your buddy so you don’t get lost. If your buddy wants to look at the monkey cage, look at the goddamn monkey cage with them. If you are the one looking at the monkey cage, ask your buddy what they want to do next, and when they want to feed the giraffe, help them find a quarter for the little food dispenser. Be a good buddy, and if your buddy isn’t a good one too, tell the teacher and ask for a new one.

This isn’t fucking rocket science, people. 

I have reblogged this before. I will reblog it again. And it’s not just romantic relationships: it’s family members and friends as well.

This kind of woke my ass up because of the amount of times I’ve had a buddy who didn’t check on me, didn’t want me to check on them, but didn’t want me to leave.