We should have all the hope in the world.
It’s so easy to get caught up in a negative situation. We’ll bury and suffocate ourselves in the details, in every wrong thing that’s happened.
Worry grows into anxiety, sadness deepens into depression, discouragement develops into despair, frustration explodes into anger, hurt cuts into hatred.
I’ve deteriorated into this state many times. I’ve sunk lower than I’ve ever wanted to, and I’ve carried too much of it alone. At least when you are in community, you have someone to notice and care and help you. To carry the burden, to offer comfort and speak truth and life and show you the light that exists in the darkness that’s wrapped itself around you. But what- what is you are alone in your battle? What if you are isolated and try to continue on your own? What happens then?
You only sink further into the dark. You don’t see straight, or clear. Eventually any glimpse of optimism you once had, any ounce of fight or strength you had in you drains away into weakness and your arms fall lax at your side. It’s no use anymore to even try, because every effort has just resulted in failure. You can’t do it.
Eventually, maybe more rapidly than you expected, all you can think of is how unfixable it all is. How broken you are. Resolution, redeeming it seems impossible and you become hopeless.
You see no end to it. Your pain has no purpose, it seems, and there is no justification for what you’ve experienced. The only things you could ever wish for to make it better will never happen. It’s impossible to overcome. There is no good that can come from this- it’s only caused devastation and wreckage. You feel powerless to change the situation. You can’t end the pain that oppresses you, but you need it to end. No more, I can’t take any more.
So you look to anything that will remove the pain. Naps. Music. Food. Blogging. Shopping. Affection from the opposite sex.
And that never relieves it. It only temporarily gives you happiness to make you forget the pain; it never takes it away. You begin to realize nothing can stop it. And nobody is there to understand it, no one is there who notices or cares.
So you say screw it. You retreat, you stop trying anything at all. Your pain only worsens. You’ve done everything you can. Now in your most lonely, darkest state, you begin to release that pain by inflicting it on yourself. Self-harm. Maybe drugs, pills, alcohol- anything that ‘relieves’ it for a moment. You begin to own your pain. It’s yours. You deserve it, now. You deserve this. That’s why it all happened in the first place, and so you accept it.
And all the while, there is this tinge of hope within you that if just one person could see your pain, if one fellow human being would notice, if one person would have compassion and show they care- it would be all you need. Because all along, all you wanted was not as much a solution for the pain, but someone to share it with and comfort you through it. A strength to lean upon, a tender touch, a comforting embrace of safety and refuge, a still and solid support to let you know that even if everything seems to be falling apart, you won’t fall completely because they are there to catch you. Someone to hear out every stupid thought and feeling until you realize how silly, overshot, and exaggerated the problems have become in your mind. Someone to make you laugh amidst the snot, sobs, and wet, tear-stained cheeks.
Maybe you didn’t know how to reach out. Maybe you didn’t know who cared. Maybe you couldn’t believe that the ones who cared actually did. Maybe you were afraid to trust them, afraid to expose the broken state of your mind, your heart, your life to them. Maybe you were waiting all along for someone to just prove to you or show you nothing was too dark, terrible, stupid or silly for you to tell them when you were hurting. Maybe you didn’t even realize how inwardly-drawn you were becoming until it was to late. Maybe there were a lot of reasons why you didn’t have the courage to speak up about how you were really doing. Maybe you were bitter because no one asked. Maybe you were convinced that because of past experiences, no one cared. No one cared at all. Maybe that is why you never said a word, even though you longed to. You just could never believe anyone wanted to know about you. And there’s nothing you can do with that. You can’t change people or make them care if they don’t. And why would they?
I know that these maybes are possible for anyone who can picture themselves in this type of state because they were my reasons.
But listen to me. Not only are there people who care, there are many more that care than you realize. And you’re right to assume some don’t care. Don’t worry about why, or wonder. Just find the ones who do. Humble yourself and be honest with them about your need for someone to know and care. Begin with family, if you know you can go to them. Go to someone in your church who’s older and has shown concern for you or you feel you could trust. Doesn’t have to be your pastor. Could be that older lady who always asks you how you are and gives you a hug. The point is, if you don’t try someone and just see if they care, how will you ever know? And if you don’t speak up, if you don’t reach out, if you retreat into yourself, how will you ever find another hand to help pull you up? Some other options would be to also see a counselor; when my depression became harmful to me and threatened my health, I decided I needed to seek out professional help I could confide in and who had the time to listen and the ability to help me sort out everything I’d internalized. I also think it’s really important to find a couple friends who are patient listeners, will point you to Jesus and will pray over you.
Most importantly, it’s not just that we need community, friendship, support. No matter if you are at the beginning of a hard time or deep into the darkest part of your pain, there is one person you need to go to the most. That person is not a man but is God. Because more than anyone, God has the power to help you overcome and to give you hope. You can trust Him. He is your Healer. He understands your pain, your sorrow, your fears. He knows you more intimately than anyone else could because He created you. His Holy Spirit is your Comforter. Jesus Christ is your intercessor. He is interceding for you. You can pray to Him and call to Him for help and when you do, have faith that He loves you, hears you, and will answer you.
"The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them;
He delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
(Psalm 34:17-18)
God is your hope. He won’t fail you. He won’t leave you. He is always there. And He wants you to give your burdens to Him because He is strong enough to take them.
God is greater than anything you face. He is loving, good, just, merciful, strong, majestic, righteous, true, light, worthy, glorious, exalted, holy, pure, perfect, blameless, unfailing, wise, all-knowing, present, upright, and faithful. He is our Father, Savior, Healer, Comforter, Redeemer, Friend, Creator, Maker, Provider, Sustainer, Lord, Hiding Place, Refuge, Fortress, Rock, Strong Tower, Defender, Deliverer. He is Most High, King of Kings, Beginning and End, the Way, the Truth, the Life, Shepherd and Overseer of our souls, Eternal, Everlasting. He is love.
If we believe God is all He says He is, then we should have all the hope in the world. We should have more hope than anyone. We should have so much hope no matter what our circumstances that we have to let others know the hope that is in Christ and trusting Him with your heart and life.
I understand what it means to hit the bottom and think there is no way up. I understand being alone in your darkest times and thinking there is no hope, and being desperate for help. You may believe it’s too late, and it’s too far gone to be recovered. But there is hope still.
If you really are sick of being in that place, if you truly want to know what it’s like to have real joy, peace and to feel the warmth of living in the light again- look to Christ. He is the answer. He is the rescue you’ve been waiting on. I’m not saying that to give false hope or promises, I’m saying it because it’s true.
Are you going to believe He is who He says He is? Will you trust Him? Do you believe that He is bigger and above anything you are facing in life right now?
He is the Conqueror, victorious, Mighty One. What is broken, He makes whole. What is ruined, He redeems. What is impossible is not impossible for Him. There is hope and His name is Jesus. He is our hope. We just have to seek Him and never stop. We have to fix our eyes on Jesus- no on the problem or the pain. We will not overcome on our own, or even if we have people to help us. We will overcome because of Christ, and because we trust in Him and put our full faith in Him alone.
