“God, Where Is My Husband?”

Sunday morning, seven rows back I sat. Pastor Alan Yung was hitting home.

“Are we acting like we’re entitled to God’s grace? Are you praying for a godly spouse and yet not putting in the work to be worthy to be a godly husband/wife? We are not entitled to ANYTHING.” Amen was escaping my lips as fast as the rush of conviction that followed. Yung continued on God’s grace: “To understand it, you must understand you do not deserve it.”

The thing about grace is it humbles you, and it is only seen clearly in the light of the gospel.

The only thing I ever deserved was death, the only reason I have been forgiven of the sin that brought that punishment was God made flesh coming to take my place. He died in my place, atoned as the perfect sacrifice and stood before God in heaven for my justification. It’s only because of His blood being shed and His advocacy for me that I am free. Not only are my sins no longer counted against me, but I am given an inheritance with Christ and have been made a son of God. I have been adopted as a daughter of the King, I am a co-heir with Christ. He tore the veil and now I have become His temple; He gave me His Spirit to reside in me. He made me a new person as I died to my old self and came alive in Christ. Everything I have is become of Him. All I am is because of Him. And it’s all by grace.

It’s more than I could ever ask for, yet here I am discouraged that I don’t have a love here on earth. When the greatest love of all has given me all things in Him, and it’s better than anything my soul will ever experience or know.

I live in an entitled generation, but we’ve slipped to not realize how that has poured over into Christianity. We need the gospel –to understand grace- to live satisfied in Christ. We need to understand all He has given us to remain humble and grateful.

It is received by grace and sustained by grace. And it is only a reflection of the greatest love story of all, of Christ and His bride- those He has chosen to love and redeem for His glory. His love is great. What He has done already is greater than all I could ever ask for.

Has God entitled me to a godly husband and marriage?

He has not.

He has promised me good in Him; He has made promises to me that I can put my faith in.

He has promised to always be with me.

He has promised me eternal life, that I have salvation in Christ- I will live forever with Him.

I know nothing can separate me from the love I have in Christ.

He has given me many promises that I can trust, that are good, that give Him glory. Maybe at times we twist His words to promise us things that we think we deserve because we are His, when really, everything from Him we receive is all grace. 

Where is my husband? I don’t have one. That is not something that is mine, but His. I have given Him everything, my whole life along with all I could have chosen for myself. I choose Him, I want Him more. I have received in my surrender more than I ever deserved. Anything He gives to me is soley His goodness.

If I do someday marry, it will only because God blessed me by grace with that gift; it’s not something I deserve. I don’t “get” it because I waited, because I trusted Him, because I didn’t have sex or read Ludy books. It would only be because of His goodness- which I am not deserving of, thus it has to be all grace. If He does give me a husband, I will give that gift back to Him continually in thankfulness. I will receive it for His glory. I am not waiting on a godly man to marry to come into my life, or asking God to give it to me. I need to know Jesus as enough, His love as more, and live in that daily. I am choosing to live in the grace God has given me and remember with gratefulness all I already have in Him. Nothing is going to satisfy me more than God my Savior.

All the goodness in my life is not because of my goodness, but His. That is why He receives all the glory.