1 Corinthians 10:12-13
(This post is honest thoughts on men's temptation with lust and how it relates to women's modesty, written by my friend Nathan who is currently in Jordan. )
It is incredibly liberating to not be assaulted by sexuality every minute of the day. No billboards. No commercials. No barely dressed model trying to sell me a Thickburger. None of the usual dose of media.
I walk outside, and I don’t see what I would normally see in America. Some women are covered head to toe. Some have just a burqa with regular clothes. Some are dressed as they please, with no burqa.
There are no miniskirts. No cheer shorts with bold block letters conveniently placed. And best of all, no leggings as pants. No low cut V’s, midriff shirts, or tube tops.
It’s difficult to put into words the struggle that men have with visual temptation. Any guy would be able to read the words ‘visual temptation’ and know exactly what I mean, in it’s entirety. It’s like a magnet between our eyes and women. It’s like having a sixth sense, a radar, and a curse all in one.
Ladies, imagine for a minute your celebrity crush. Pitt/Clooney/Ryan Reynolds/whoever else. It’s harmless right, it’s just one celebrity. I’ve heard it so often justified that you’re ‘just looking’ and no worries. If you saw Brad Pitt walking down the street, you would look. Guaranteed. Maybe even more than once.
Now take that urge to look and multiply it by a thousand. And then multiply the amount of Pitts and Clooneys in the world. Now don’t look.
That’s basically what guys have to deal with. Constantly. And it wasn’t until I left that environment that I realized how present it was. Being over here and the difference is astounding.
This is where the discussion always disintegrates. It ends in a battle of ‘just dont look/be a ‘warrior’ and learn to control your eyes’ versus ‘dress more modestly’
Men: They have never been women. They have never been in a position where their wardrobe is under constant scrutiny, been blamed falsely for causing someone to sin, or socially labelled based on their style choices.
Women: They have never been men. They will never know what it is to have a constant battle against testosterone. To constantly be given trite sayings that are supposed to ‘fix’ your ‘struggles’ They’ve never experienced what it is like to be inherently visually driven, and then trying to shut that off.
No doubt there are always two sides to any argument. And I’m sure I’ll upset more than a few people saying everything after this paragraph. If you have a thin skin, now is the time to hit the ‘Back’ button on your browser.
I reject that men supposedly “blame” women for the struggles we have. I reject that men claim the “right” to sin because of how a woman is dressed.. I reject that men “hold women responsible for the thoughts and actions of men”. I reject that men force or require that women dress a certain way, to fit our needs. I reject that men because they struggle with visual temptation and lust BY DEFAULT objectify women.
This is just some of the insane crap I’ve seen posted and published.
Immodest dress can not be ignored by the male brain. It’s that simple.
I’m tired of being judged and labeled. I’m tired of being made to feel like trash because of something that is hard-wired into me. So many times a post that is meant to uplift our Christian sisters simultaneously tears down the brothers, usually unknowingly. I heard somebody say:
“The truth is, a man can choose to objectify a woman whether she’s wearing a bikini or a burqa. We don’t stop lust by covering up the female form; we stop lust by teaching men to treat women as human beings worthy of respect.”
Have you considered that I’m NOT objectifying you? Have you considered that this lust problem is directly related to the visual drive that is hard-wired into me, and I’m doing my best to deal with it? Maybe that *gasp* it’s possible that I see women as human beings worth of respect AND have a problem with temptation.
To say that how modestly a woman dresses should have no effect on men and visual temptation is garbage. I know this, because after I was in Jordan I went to Israel. And the Jewish and Christian women in Israel dress just like in America. There are the modest, immodest, and shake-your-head-how-did-her-mom-let-her-out-of-the-house immodest. And guess what? Being in Israel, all of my temptations and struggle came back in waves. What was the only variable that changed? The modesty level accepted by society. I certainly didn’t decide that the women in Jordan were “human beings worthy of respect” and that the women in Israel weren’t.
Hebrews 4:15
1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV
hi breanna! im struggling with resisting the desires of my flesh sometimes and i feel like every time i give in im overcome with guilt and i feel so much further from God. can you pray for me? i really need some backup for fighting this. i want to try to be pleasing to God in all aspects of my life and i feel like im losing progress when i give in.
Beloved of Christ,
I am sorry I took so long in replying to you, but I have been keeping you in my prayers. Read Romans 7:15-25. This is what you are going through. Next Read Romans 8:5-8:
If you are struggling with sin and your flesh, I want to encourage you to simply repent and ask God to empower you by His Holy Spirit to overcome. Romans 8:26 says that "the Spirit helps us in our weakness." We cannot overcome sin, temptation, or our flesh by our own efforts; we need the power of God. And the amazing thing is, all we have to do is ask Him for it.
Jesus understands, "because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted." (Hebrews 2:18).
Romans 8:1-4 says that Christ conquered sin and death, and when we have died to our fleshly nature, we are FREE! Sin no longer reigns in us, we have total VICTORY over it. God doesn't want you to strive and struggle. He wants to give you complete victory! This is why Christ not only paid the penalty for, but also fully conquered sin and death once and for all on the cross.
Our righteousness comes through faith and grace. It's a gift that's already paid for by Jesus Christ and all we have to do is receive it. If you have recognized sin in your life, truly repented (asked forgiveness and turned from), and have asked the Holy Spirit to fill you with life and free you, then you will be! Also, do not let the enemy continue to heap guilt on you once you have received God's grace. "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1).
The desires of the flesh can seem overpowering but the love of God is more powerful! God loves you, even when you have sinned He is still there and still loves you. He is not repulsed by you or what you have done. Don't even think for a minute that He desires you any less. He just wants to love you and cherish you...He delights in you because you are His and He will always, always love you, and He will always, always be there.
One of the best ways to fight temptation and attacks of the enemy is to speak the Truth. The word of God is your sword, so go to battle! Declare over yourself that you don't live according to the flesh but you live according to the Spirit. Tell the enemy to go in the name of Jesus and he has to obey.
I will keep praying for you, and if you want to come off anon I will reply to you privately. Or you can ask me for my email.
I strongly encourage you to also confide in a trusted friend about your struggles (especially one of the same gender, who is spiritually mature) or even your parents if they are Christians. James 5:16 tells us to "confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."
I am praying for you. I hope that you are strengthened and encouraged.
