I never thought anyone could be in love
with me. I never thought I held the capacity
to be loved. I knew how far I'd go for the
idea of love. I knew the depths my heart
would go for who I loved, but this maze of
love never being reciprocated, or somehow
fell short. I found myself feeling smaller
every time someone left, the investment cost
me so much. I just wanted to be loved.
It's this feeling. This lightheaded feeling.
The feeling of emptiness and
disappointment. The feeling that
frequently flickers through your ear,
constantly reminding you that you are not
good enough... that your never gonna be
good enough. You can try and try but yet
never good enough. You isolate yourself
from the world in hopes of finding
something better; a better life, a new
identity. "Close yours eyes" you say to
ourself softly while the warm tears flows
down your cheek, but unfortunately that's
not the case. You open your eyes and yet
you're still living, still breathing, still you.
Anxiety is so bad. You can
have
someone in front of you
telling you
screaming that they love
you. You'll
hear it. but that voice in
your head is
there, telling you no they
don't, no one
does, it kills and always
wins. No one
understands
Saddest part is i still love you.
Sometimes you have to be your own savior
You’re not the same person anymore
