you don't cross my mind as frequently anymore i still wonder how you're doing but no longer dwelling on the fact that i won't know i also stopped thinking if you cared to think about me anymore i'm accepting you and i are strangers again there has been so much i could update you on but now that's what my tumblr is for
I never thought anyone could be in love
with me. I never thought I held the capacity
to be loved. I knew how far I'd go for the
idea of love. I knew the depths my heart
would go for who I loved, but this maze of
love never being reciprocated, or somehow
fell short. I found myself feeling smaller
every time someone left, the investment cost
me so much. I just wanted to be loved.
I thought I had you. For a slight moment, I
thought I had you. I thought you and I would be
different. We became so close in such a short time
and I thought you genuinely cared about me. You
didn't play games with me. I thought we could
actually be something. I thought wrong. Days
going on to weeks going onto months with little to
no contact. But I do know one thing. We made an
impact on one another. And we will always be in
each others' memories. At least memories don't
change, while people do.
I treated you good as I possibly could and that still wasn't good enough for you. You have no idea how much that gets to me, you made me realize that no matter how good or how much love I give to that special person it's never going to be enough.
You probably never speak to me again I still don’t know what i did wrong but honestly i'm so glad i knew you at one point, and we shared all those wonderful moments. I cant thank you enough you made me smile and laugh I was the happiest i ever was so thank you. Maybe one day we will meet again. And explain to each other what happened between us. Until then, I hope you live your best life and I hope you do all the things you said you always wanted to do. And if you meet someone else down the road, that'll be okay, I just hope he treats you better than i ever did. As long as you're happy. I'm happy. My one wish isn't for us to be together in the end.. Sure, I want that and that would make me happy. But my only wish is that you are happy and doing well both physically and mentally. I just want you to be happy. I want you to feel loved and safe. I want you to feel comfortable and at home. As long as you're happy. Even tho if it's not with me. I think the reason why I got attached so fast Is because you made me something After being numb for so long. Im not moving on, but i am letting go. I'm over here waiting for you. i clearly get the message after not getting any responses back. Im not going to forget you, I never will. Someone as special as you is unforgettable. Im just focusing on myself to become a better person. I will always love you. its time to let go of you. i cant be with someone that doesn’t give me the time of day. Take good care of yourself. Stay beautiful
You had me crying at 3am in the morning in the corner of my room because I felt like I wasn't good enough to live anymore
It's so so hard to live sometimes act like
I'm fine to everyone when I'm really not,
honestly I'm not, I pretend I'm fine all the
time and no one even notices I just wish
somebody would notice how not okay and
broken I am about everything and help fix
me, unfortunately though life's not like
that, I don't know if it ever was but I sure
wish it was now, I'm helping out people
putting their broken pieces back together
when, well me myself I'm still completely
shattered trying to put my own pieces
back completely alone. No one knows
what I go through I'm not much of an open
person, yes I do tell people when I'm upset
over little things or not in a good mood
but never does someone know the times
that I don't want to be here anymore, at all
sorry to interrupt your scrolling. but are you alright? be honest, i’m listening.
I have laughed with people who have said the most terrible things about me and they think I don't know.
I just want to disappear to the point that not even I could remember myself.
Sitting in my room just thinking and…….. 😔 maybe you never like talking to me at all and just felt sorry for me 😢😕 but on the other hand I got so excited and happy just to send you messages 🙁💔
It's this feeling. This lightheaded feeling.
The feeling of emptiness and
disappointment. The feeling that
frequently flickers through your ear,
constantly reminding you that you are not
good enough... that your never gonna be
good enough. You can try and try but yet
never good enough. You isolate yourself
from the world in hopes of finding
something better; a better life, a new
identity. "Close yours eyes" you say to
ourself softly while the warm tears flows
down your cheek, but unfortunately that's
not the case. You open your eyes and yet
you're still living, still breathing, still you.
boysaresuicidal2 reblogged
Anxiety is so bad. You can
have
someone in front of you
telling you
screaming that they love
you. You'll
hear it. but that voice in
your head is
there, telling you no they
don't, no one
does, it kills and always
wins. No one
understands
Letter to myself.
Dear me,
I am so sorry. I'm sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others, when your own hands were shaking. I'm sorry that I didn't give you enough time to heal, that I let you heal the wounds of everyone else while your own were bleeding. I'm so sorry that there were days when smiling hurt but you forced ourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you. I'm so sorry that you gave all of your time and effort to people that didn't give the same amount back. I'm sorry that there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to understand why. And i am so sorry that I didn't love you, like you deserved to be loved.