darling;

i cant take any of this sex stuff seriously

a bunch of ppl are on here like Oohh Im asexual and i dont even mean this like that at all. i mean like all the whips and funny little sex toys and rainbow colored plastic bullshit is so looney tunes like cant u guys just have regular sex. whose fucking idea was all that

This post is so ridiculous and low-effort I wasn't even going to dignify it with a response. But there's a lot of ignorance and sex-shaming going on in the notes as well, so I'm going to do some debunking. I doubt it will have any effect on the people confidently stating absolute horseshit; but if you're reading those ill-informed comments and wondering if you're abnormal, hopefully I can assuage those concerns.

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First off: OP, I really don't know where to begin with you, but if you're really that freaked out by non-realistic sex toys, let me assure you that there is also a thriving market for hyper-realistic ones. I have a feeling this is not what you're actually all twisted up about, though.

I know it's difficult to imagine if you have never lived in a world without social media, but all kinds of kink—including BDSM—very much existed before the internet.

Besides the heteronormativity of it all, it's blatantly incorrect that healthy people don't need lube. Looking just at people with vaginas, lubrication varies with a lot of factors (including hormones, stress, medication, etc.) that are not incompatible with being "normal" or "in healthy relationships". Lube increases comfort, decreases friction, and oh yeah, it also reduces the likelihood of prophylactics (condoms, dental dams, etc.) tearing. So yeah, using lube has nothing to do with being abnormal or unhealthy.

Sexual arousal also varies within normal people in healthy relationships; having trouble getting in the mood does not mean there's anything wrong with you or that you're not into your partner. People also use sex toys purely for fun and variety, even if they don't need any help getting turned on. Needing or wanting to use sex toys does not mean you're unattracted to your partner, and sex toys are fully compatible with healthy relationships.

This is the sex equivalent of saying "I don't use pronouns". When you have what you consider "normal sex", you are still adopting a role. It's just that you think your preferred role is "normal" and everyone else's is abnormal.

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Also just in general, there comments in the notes about being turned off by particular sexual practices—everything from kink to pillow talk—and to that I say: don't do things you don't enjoy. It's that simple. Other people will do those things if they enjoy them, and it isn't your business and it isn't "weird" just because you don't do it.

It's particularly surprising to me that so many of the ignorant comments share a theme of "people only do this because of the internet" and "clearly none of you have had [normal] IRL sex". That's such an antiquated, conservative attitude that I can't believe it's coming from people in their 20s and 30s.

I don't know where you're all getting these hostile and willfully ignorant attitudes about sex. But this is what's unhealthy. Lube, sex toys—those things are all perfectly normal. Thinking that using them means there's something wrong with you or your relationship, and that "normal people in healthy relationships" don't use those things? That's unhealthy as fuck, and it's blatantly wrong, and I am begging y'all to stop confidently saying bullshit on the internet.

Do...do they think that the internet invented kink, and not simply adopted it as a place where it could be discussed openly in "public" rather than in isolated communities? What is WRONG with the kids these days....