boopycat

Good morning and tuesday to everyone except the guy who stuck his dick in the public mailbox downtown and pissed all over the mail. If you're him fuck you

This is oddly specific. Is there a story there?

Yeah, some guy stuck his dick in the public mailbox downtown and pissed all over the mail

OP you have to tell us that story, I need context

Well you see, some guy stuck his dick in the public mailbox downtown

What happened next?

You wouldn't believe it but he pissed all over the mail

At a festival. Small child is lying on the ground nearby with a large rock on their chest yelling MORE WEIGHT!!! GIVE ME MORE WEIGHT!!!

wait hold on gotta look something up

oh no

Official Post of Massachusetts

me: *frantically searching my room for that One Thing that I know I put Somewhere Around Here*

that Thing as soon as I give up and sit back down at my desk, defeated:

no, spotify, i don't want to use ai to "turn my ideas into playlists". i already fucking do that with my brain and hands and i do it for fun. what, should i get ai to pet my cat for me? to play my silly games for me? to spend time with my beautiful wife for me? how about i rend you asunder

writer’s block (dry) = no desire to write, no ability to write (bearable)

writer’s block (wet) = HUGE desire to write, no ability to write (very evil)

Thank you for this distinction. I hate it.

Nothing will ever be as funny to me as doctor who from the masters pov. Your best friend wanders into the woods and befriends a group of squirrels. He decides he will protect that specific tree with his life, even at the cost of your own species. You are the last two humans in the world. You once again try to burn down that fucking tree

op i am howling

how dare you hide this in the tags!

This was a whole thread, here are some of my favourites:

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

like six months after that just after halloween i asked to see his son dressed as a ‘fat baby pumpkin’ and he was like ‘who told you’ and i said ‘no one. it’s halloween. you have a fat baby. he’s going to be a pumpkin’ 

bbc sherlock wants what i have

abandoned space elevator

Accurate recreation of me when I said "Oh wow thats a pretty picture I wonder where they took it at" and then scrolled down to see the tag #pixel art

Original

Sibling asked how ppl in star wars dance to jizz music and I had to give her an example

its literally not a typo,,,, thats what the genre of the music in the video is called in star wars canon

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

fucked up that we got 2024 on monday