it's a long story.

the philosophers of our time are on tumblr dot com

this oppressive southern weather is terrible for boys like me who only want one thing: to dress like a dripped out politburo member in the middle of a strong soviet winter

this is basically the only other option here & i don't have the fat boy joie de vivre to pull it off

are you really gonna hate a playa just cuz he's got a couple nukes?

A MOUSE BAR DURING PROHIBITION WOULD BE CALLED A SQUEAKEASY!!!

this came to me in a vision btw. the vision was of a little mouse bartender yelling, "cheese it! it's the cops!" and all the little mice flipping the bar and turning it into a fromagerie.

So, the thing about Don Quixote.

The thing about Don Quixote is that he tilts at windmills - tilts in the archaic sense of ‘charge at with a lance,’ because it’s the story of a guy who read so much chivalric romance that he lost his mind and started larping as a knight-errant. He was, if you’ll pardon the phrasing, chivalrybrained.

The thing about Don Quixote is, sometimes people take it as this story of whimsical and bravely misguided individualism or ‘being yourself’ or whatever, and they’re wrong. If it took place in the modern day, Don Quixote would absolutely be the story of a trust fund kid who blew his inheritance being a gacha whale until his internet got cut off so now he wanders around insisting that people refer to him as ‘Gudako.’

But the real thing about Don Quixote is that it was published in the early 1600s, and the thing about the 1600s is that Europe was one big tire fire. This is because 1600s Europe was still organized around feudalism (or ‘vassalage and manorialism’ if ya nasty), which assumed that land (and the peasants attached to it) were the only source of wealth. And that had worked just fine (well, ‘just fine,’ it was still feudalism) for a long time, because Europe had been a relative backwater with little in the way of urbanization or large-scale trade.

That was no longer true for Europe in the 1600s. The combination of urban development, technological advances, and brutal Spanish colonialism meant that land was no longer the sole source of wealth. Sudden there was a new class of business-savvy, investment-minded upwardly-mobile commoners, and another new class of downwardly-mobile gentry who simply couldn’t compete in this new fast-paced economy. Cervantes saw this process with his own eyes.

One of the symbols of this new age was the windmill, a complicated piece of engineering that was expensive to build but would then produce profits indefinitely - in other words, a windmill was capital.

The thing about Don Quixote is, when he tilts at windmills, he has correctly identified his nemesis.

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

national identities were a hoax invented by Big Nineteenth Century to sell more fascism

although I find both institutions detestable I think they should force the vatican to compete in the Olympics. let's see what those priests can do

dentists will splash some water in your mouth and youll think "oh a nice drink of water i was parched" just for them to suck it back out with their wretched little tube. disingenuous behavior

are you watching cave wall tonight i hear shadow of vase is supposed to be on

not brainworms as in it’s eating me, brainworms as in it’s aerating and enriching the soil of my mind

I’ll be honest girls I think you slept on this one

imagine you're frolicking in a field, prancing through long grass, singing "falalalala~", occasionally picking a flower. etc, etc. but a guy in the same field is watching you, about 20 paces away. he lowers his opera glasses (which he was using to watch you) and starts clutching his head and screaming with blind rage because of how much you're pissing him off. that's what it's like to be on the internet.

we’re the only animals that know what will happen later in the day

deer: “who knows. i might find a river. i may be attacked by wolves”

man, gods favorite creature: “tonight i will indulge in overwatch pornography”

"Sex is what makes us human" is stupid. Almost every species fucks. Humans are the only species that jumps motorcycles over school buses that are on fire. Some other things too probably

back in myyyy day we got queerbaited and we said THANK YOU for it. this used to be a real website

When I walk into the mall and see Christmas decorations up the day after Halloween, I feel the same way Hamlet did when his mom married his annoying uncle so shortly after his father’s death.

Thrift, thrift, Horatio! the Halloween Mars Bars/Did coldly furnish forth the Christmas stockings

All Quiet On The Frontal Lobe

thinking about divas once more. divas are often celebrities (sometimes not). there is the real person (little known) and there is the character (completely known). but divas are a step forward in that the character becomes a real person. lets take a nondiva like. brad pitt. he’s a known person but the character doesnt have a life of its own. it’s just there whenever he’s there. but liza is a spirit separate from the girl. i can call onto her: oh liza get me through this. it’s hard to identify recent divas because celebrity itself has become blurred in the real and the projected.