*slowly reaches for the popcorn*

ASMR concept: You are a ranger from the north trying to go to sleep. It’s the middle of the night and there is the sound of a fire crackling, crickets, an owl… and an elf and a dwarf having a whisper-fight about how many strands of hair are used to make a fishtail brade.

It ends when, after 45 minutes of insults, threats, and posturing, the two of them realizing that dwarves and elves use a completely different braids from each other that both happen to translate to “fishtail” in westron and they both start giggling and saying “i’m sorry” and “no, i’m sorry” and then “wow I can’t believe Aragorn slept through that he must have wool in his ears” and then there’s the sound of you drawing your sword and Legolas and Gimli looking over in terror.

While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.

Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Clickhole, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.

2010. A Japanese woman sits down to take photos of her shiba inu dog for her blog. Suddenly, a man leaps out of a time portal. "Sorry, I can't let you do this. I cannot tell you why." She asks: "Is it forbidden knowledge from the future?" He sighs: "No, it's just too fucking stupid to explain."

fucking australia’s trying to get everyone to link their government id to their social media accounts else you cant use them anymore, the actual fuck is wrong with this country

please, actually, get fucking mad over this, the entirety of australia basically just banned all social media for anyone who doesnt want to give up their privacy to the government, there was no vote on this, no nothing, they just went ahead and fucking passed this ridiculously privy law and barely anybody’s talking about it the actual fuck

okay so to actually explain what exactly is happening, it’s an age thing. theyve used ‘protect the children’ and ‘let kids be kids’ as a weapon again. anyone under 16 is banned from social media, but to enforce this they have openly admitted everyone will need to link their government id to their social media. this whole ‘protect the kids’ thing was a very obvious trojan horse for getting ppl to give up their privacy.

and yknow, that alone is a very shitty law even without the whole surrendering your private information to the government thing.

theyve made outside uninhabitable, there’s nowhere left to go. public areas have degenerated, theyve turned hanging out into a crime with loitering, streets feel unwalkable sometimes, parents are more wary of letting their kids walk around on their own than they used to be, and now theyre trying to ban one of the main ways kids manage to distract themselves inside the house.

when i was 15 i was depressed and lonely, unable to leave the house very far, no friends, nobody. the one place that helped me feel less alone was online communities. i wouldve killed myself if it werent for the support i recieved on there. and now theyre trying to ban that for future generations, in a world that hates them being both outside and inside.

and even still, this is still a fucking trojan horse to get you to give up your privacy.

some proper info on this bullshit

Hey guys. Some of you guys would have heard by now that the philippines will face four typhoons consecutively. I'm currently in the middle of preparing, with the funds my partner gathered for me last month; only I've come across a couple of problems; firstly. That our fridge broke. We live in a wooden house, and when it rains, our walls are very damp due to my country's general humidity. I suppose it caused some short circuiting in some of the wires. I've had the fridge repaired, but it also spoiled 2-4 days worth of food. Secondly. My mom's wallet got stolen. It had around 150 usd in it, that was supposed to go to our groceries for the last leg of November. I've been unable to find work on twitter, as a dying platform. And I am somewhat late in fulfilling my October commissions.. I have not been able to make art as a hobby.. in almost 2 months. None of my social media is growing because I work 10 hours every day, and I'm too exhausted to draw afterward. I have around 3 jobs, and with dollar dramatically falling, while food prices continue to skyrocket.. I am drowning. I am the only person in our house who works. All my three family members are disabled. I pay for my sisters tuition fees, I'm pretty much her parents in all respects. Elon Musk destroyed one of the platforms where most of my clients come from. And my other work will only pay me once I deliver 200 pages of work. Humbly, again, asking for help, prayers. Anything.

There's a 15% off sale on inrprnt, please come pick up any print at all if you'd like.

My patreon is only a dollar a month. Ever since Apple chose to bill iPhone users 30% more, I've devastatingly lost almost 60 patrons.

You can send me a direct tip on ko-fi if you like and have the means. Everything goes to repairing our house, and food, and insulin.

Also have a PayPal here..

Prayers and reblogs appreciated. Thank you so much for looking out for me for almost the whole year now. I'm sorry again. I'm desperately trying to repay the favor with new art and free stories. I will do my best.

Pro Tip: Stock Up On Pregnancy Tests

If you live somewhere abortion access is limited, time is of the essence. And you can buy time by discovering an unwanted pregnancy as early as possible.

If you test proactively, you're still unlikely to discover a pregnancy before 4-5 weeks, which is cutting it close in states with a 6-week ban. Still, no matter how much it sucks, early discovery gives you time to act, to get abortion pills, to figure out the money, to travel if necessary.

TLDR: Buy a box of pregnancy test strips NOW and use them when needed.

To clarify the "morning urine" point - the best time to do a pregnancy test is with the first time you pee after waking up in the morning, as this is the most concentrated urine of the day!

Howdy folks, the Senate will be considering the first ever resolution blocking arms to Israel. This is huge and historic; it would block government contracting and about $20 billion in arms and support. This is an uphill battle, PLEASE urge your senators to support S.J.Res114-115. This is maybe the most important piece of legislation relating to Palestine that we have ever gotten and we must seize this opportunity.

This doc has information on the resolutions and their process, as well as sample messages and a phone script you can use. Please, use this moment to hear witness for your neighbors.

This is a massive call to action even if you live in a blue state! You cannot simply trust that your senator will do the right thing here. They need to hear that we still care even if the election is behind us.

thank god pwhl hasn’t been around long enough for a goalie trade im not actually sure I could handle it

i gotta remember this

[ID: Reddit question asking "How do you start doing things you're scared of?" with a reply by u/Donglemaestro reading "Become more scared of doing nothing forever." /End ID]

Please note. The orange one is not included because A. He isn’t a billionaire. And B. Calling him obnoxious is too kind for him.

Even though it’s such a big bummer that league may not be streaming games on YouTube (at least we’re assuming that right now since it’s not included in their new Canadian broadcast partner list yet and we could be so wrong) I will admit that I understand why the PWHL is likely straying from that. Even though YouTube allows fans all over the world to engage and watch live games which does foster growth, the league likely makes little to no money from being free on YouTube. Streaming deals have become a very big and incredibly lucrative aspect of women’s sports and these leagues make a lot of money from it, which in turns helps the league to grow even more.

The WNBA signed a new media deal this year and will be earning about $200 million a year for it. The NWSL also signed a new media streaming deal that will earn the league $60 million per year. That is a LOT of money in the world of women’s sports and I don’t know how much money the PWHL is making to be working with these broadcast partners, hopefully a decent chunk, but any kind of revenue like that is important in the long run for the league as a whole and in terms of broadcast longevity.

My hope for the league is that games will still be available on YouTube outside of the markets they’ve announced broadcast partners for so a lot of folks aren’t just left in the dark and for full games to then be available on there for everyone once they’re over but for Canada and the USA, it’s honestly not surprising to see the league singing deals with North American broadcast partners given the financial gain they could get from it. Is it inconvenient? Yeah, of course! It’s annoying as hell to try to wrangle games across different networks every week but that’s just how sports media works these days and the reality is that these new sports leagues, like the PWHL, need to adjust to that.

For what it's worth PWHL jerseys should allegedly be available from Bauer retailers and online starting on November 14th.

In other news the Bauer site has free shipping on orders over $99 while the PWHL online store has free shipping on orders over $150.

Juuuuust saying.

sometimes you need to give up committing to the bit when someone genuinely can’t tell if it’s a bit or not and is getting distressed about it :/ sorry

sometimes all u need to do is take one second to say "(yeah this is a bit)" if someone is genuinely asking because they genuinely can't tell, and then you can continue with the bit. i just feel like refusing to acknowledge someone saying "i cant tell if youre joking or not" and you just continue, or even say, "im not joking" then you're not being very funny, you're just being kind of mean, i think.

obviously there is nuance to this and if you know someone really well sometimes going in harder on the bit will make them get that it's a bit and that's fine if you know them. but just be mindful, yknow? not everyone can pick up on stuff like that, and pushing harder on a bit by saying "im serious" when someone asks if you're joking or not can be harmful in some situations.

I admit I find that one meme where people go '[state] mentioned!' and post that anime girl with a bunch of obscure stereotypes photoshopped onto/around her really very charming.

stop putting touchscreens in cars and get to the features people actually want: oscillating vent fans, visors that move automatically to block the sun, and the ability to fire red koopa shells at people who change lanes without using their turn signal

Something that I have noticed is I know almost nobody my age that goes to a food pantry. I know people who regularly run out of money for food and in general have to eat an unsuitable diet because that’s what they can afford and they still don’t go to a food bank, im not sure if it’s because they’re embarrassed or maybe if you didn’t grow up going you don’t know much about it but if you’re financially struggling I really recommend it. And look into other options for food assistance too like community fridges and gardens and other programs that can assist you, where I live Salvation Army pays for an allotted amount of grocery delivery for low income people every month, in the summer farmers take excess produce to the library to be taken by anyone who needs it, etc. There are a LOT of resources for free food that you can look into especially if you are literally not eating because of your financial situation

Btw if you have dietary restrictions you can often let them know and in many cases they’ll prioritize certain items for you