mouthporn.net
#the first one really made me laugh – @bobbiesquares on Tumblr
Avatar

*sighs eternally*

@bobbiesquares / bobbiesquares.tumblr.com

Hi! I'm Bobbie. She/her. I post a lot of: Critical Role, Dimension 20, Baldur's Gate 3, the Magnus Archives, PJO/HoO, D&D, fiction, and writing resources.
Avatar
Avatar
halakhic-ho
A man goes to see his Rabbi in a panic, and he gets there and he says, “Rabbi you’ll never guess what! My son has run away to become a Christian!” And the Rabbi responds, “Well you’ll never guess what! My son has also run away to become a Christian!” So the man asks the Rabbi what to do and the Rabbi says that they should pray to G-d. So they pray and tell him of their plight and G-d replies, “You’ll never guess what!”

- An old Hasidic joke that my Dad likes to tell me

Avatar
promithiae

An old Jewish lady ducks into a church one night during a sudden rain shower. The priest comes in while she’s waiting out the rain and says, “you can’t be here, we don’t allow your kind in here.”

So the lady stands up and grabs the baby jesus statue from their nativity scene and says, “come along bubbala, you heard the man, we aren’t allowed in here”

-my grandmother’s favorite joke

A rabbi goes to see his friend the bishop. “Listen,” he says, “there’s something I’ve never quite understood about the Catholic church. it’s hierarchical, right?”

“Right,” says the bishop. 

“So,” says the rabbi, “if you do a really great job as a bishop, you might become…what?”

“Well,” says the bishop, “if I’m fortunate, I might become an archbishop.”

“And if you do a really great job as an archbishop?”

“I suppose, someday, I could even be a cardinal.”

“And if you do a really great job as a cardinal?”

“I guess after that I could, theoretically, become the Pope.”

“And if you do a really great job as the Pope?”

“What would you expect me to become after the Pope?” says the bishop, who’s starting to get a little annoyed. “God Himself?”

The rabbi shrugs. “Well,” he says “one of our boys made it.” 

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net