@bobbiesquares / bobbiesquares.tumblr.com
helen “trans people are perpetuating gender steriotypes” joyce is now upset that the scientific american is writing about how women were hunters too back in the day, not just mothers and caretakers. feminist win!
I think I found the article!
Read it if you have the time, it's very interesting.
There is such a strange, nuanced distinction between a trope being okay at the micro-level and problematic at the macro level, and I don’t think we appreciate it enough.
Like, let’s take one trope for example: the old 80′s “career woman is unfulfilled and unhappy until she Finds Love and quits her job for a man.”
I think a lot has been said about this being a sexist trope. But I would argue that on its own, it’s actually… fine? It could even be an important story to someone, depending on execution. Because, well–work isn’t fulfilling for most people! Lots of workers, even in very high earning jobs, get burned out and are sort of encouraged to stay in this unhealthy rat race where all that matters is make line go up.
Of course a relationship can be more fulfilling than a job! Damn!
But. But.
While an individual story about a woman going “work sucks, fuck this, I actually just want to have a torrid romance and leave to have wild sex with a muscley lumberjack in the hills” doesn’t necessarily have to be sexist…. that kind of story being the overwhelming majority is.
One snowflake is harmless. A snowstorm is not.
One story about a woman being better off not working is harmless. Every single story being about it, in a culture that pressures women into having less independence and power, is not.
So then what do you do? Do you tell everyone who wants to write their cheesy lumberjack romcom to stop? Will that even work?
what you do is encourage other stories too. have your lumberjack decide actually fuck cold mornings and trees he wants to go be a house husband in cozy small town vermont. have your high powered exec leave to go BE a lumberjack. have your highpowered exec be a dude, or a lesbian. The problem isnt ”too much this thing” its ”not enough anything else.”
And that can start with labels and statistics.
If you’re looking at individual snowflakes, you may not notice the blizzard settling around you.
But if you search for “romance” books, and 90% of them are tagged “Corp to SAHM”… you may consider looking for something else. And wondering why there’s so little of anything else.
This is why the people in power don’t like being labeled. They don’t want books to be tagged “white protagonist” because then people will notice how overwhelming those are. They don’t want news articles to say, “Joe Smith, a white man, spoke at the board meeting….” They want the privileged majority to be invisible - for everything else to be identified by its differences from the unstated norm.
There are mainstream romances labeled “reverse age gap.” They mean “older woman; younger man.” They rarely tag “age gap” for older man - that’s the assumed norm.
Book reviews mention “strong female characters” because that’s apparently notable, different from the expected.
…where are the “weak male characters?” (Also, if you want to make people’s heads explode, talk about movies and books that have “strong male characters.” It will bother them. Especially if you talk about “an unusual strong white male protagonist.”) (Because they don’t want the norm, the assumption, labeled and called out.)
To get more diverse stories, start by identifying what you’ve already got. That makes it more obvious what’s missing.
“From the script’s first draft, Larson says she noted the significance of women being involved, in all stages of the film’s creative process.”
It’s here. To all of those who submitted quotes- I’m indebted to you, truly. Do not feel bad if I didn’t choose your quotes, there were so many amazing ones, this article easily could have been 6000 words! I really hope I did y’all justice. If you’d like to share it on twitter as well (the more sharing the better! Plus I always like more female hockey content on my dash!) my twitter is @kelseygpfeifer and here is the link to the tweet!
Happy International Women’s Day :)
It just occurred to me that there are people who might not have seen this BUT SHOULD
“How many times in your life have you been excluded from something important or talked over or ignored because you’re the only woman in the room?”
One of my favorite stories:
My mom was working as a lawyer when she was pregnant with my twin siblings. Late in her third trimester she had a court date. She asked the judge if it could be postponed due to her pregnancy but he refused saying she was “making a ridiculous excuse.” So she squeezed into the biggest maternity suit she could find and went to the courthouse. When she stood up in front of the judge, 8 months pregnant with twins and clearly in no condition to be standing for an extended period, the blood drained from his face. He tried to backtrack saying she could sit down, but being my mom, she chose to stand and glare at him for the whole damn hearing. He found in her client’s favor.
Negron says in the lawsuit (and has told Kotaku) that soon after she was hired, her manager quit and she took on her job duties without adequate compensation or a change in job title. Although she asked her superiors about making her title official, she was never interviewed for the position and, instead, three men were hired into the role one after another. Later, after her third supervisor left, the lawsuit says Negron was offered to perform the role again, still without proper compensation or a job title change.
Oh Boy Who Is Ready For Some White Gamer Boy Rage
for everyone who’s been thinking about supporting riot thanks to the new k/da video: reminder that this is still absolutely a thing, and don’t let them distract you from it in the slightest
The catalyst was a customer — a father of four who had put his hand up the shirt of a busser clearing his family’s table. The busser was so stunned she didn’t report it, but the event sparked a flood of reactions from staff members who’d had similar experiences. At our meeting, women shared stories about harassment from customers and said that when they tried to report it to male managers, they were often ignored because the incidents seemed unthreatening through a male lens.
We decided on a color-coded system in which different types of customer behavior are categorized as yellow, orange or red. Yellow refers to a creepy vibe or unsavory look. Orange means comments with sexual undertones, such as certain compliments on a worker’s appearance. Red signals overtly sexual comments or touching, or repeated incidents in the orange category after being told the comments were unwelcome.
When a staff member has a harassment problem, they report the color — “I have an orange at table five” — and the manager is required to take a specific action. If red is reported, the customer is ejected from the restaurant. Orange means the manager takes over the table. With a yellow, the manager must take over the table if the staff member chooses. In all cases, the manager’s response is automatic, no questions asked. (At the time of our meeting, all our shift managers were men, though their supervisors were women; something else we’ve achieved since then is diversifying each layer of management.)
In the years since implementation, customer harassment has ceased to be a problem. Reds are nearly nonexistent, as most sketchy customers seem to be derailed at yellow or orange. We found that most customers test the waters before escalating and that women have a canny sixth sense for unwanted attention. When reds do occur, our employees are empowered to act decisively.
The color system is elegant because it prevents women from having to relive damaging stories and relieves managers of having to make difficult judgment calls about situations that might not seem threatening based on their own experiences. The system acknowledges the differences in the ways men and women experience the world, while creating a safe workplace.
Brilliant.
And to support her brilliance, I’ll be buying her cookbook, Mac and Cheese.
(Goodreads link here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16169870-the-mac-cheese-cookbook)
How I Teach Men Not To Talk Over Me: from one feminist to another, when basic respect is lagging and conversations are impossible
I’ve done this to several men, and they catch on rather quickly. You’ll be able to have a conversation right then and there, and it works long term too - they might’ve forgot their manners by the time you talk to them again, but by repeating this, they’ll eventually learn to let you talk without you having to do this at the start of every convo. Source: I have a very stubborn older brother, who eventually learned too.
1. When they interrupt you, stop talking. Don’t try to raise your voice or battle them. Be completely quiet and wait.
2. Ignore everything they’re saying. Do not actually listen - just wait until they shut up. Don’t make a point of anything they say, do not answer to anything they say, do not refer to anything they say here. Literally do not listen a single word. Let them rant as long as they want.
3. When they finally shut up and wait for your reaction, say: ”I wasn’t done talking.”
4. Start over whatever you were saying when they interrupted you. I don’t care if it was a 10-minute explanation of rocket science. Start. Over. Repeat you original thought, but do not add anything related to what they just said while talking over you. That gives them the idea that it’s okay to interrupt you, you’ll still listen and pay attention and they’ll get their point clear without having to listen to yours. (It’s especially funny when you get done and they expect you to keep going talking about whatever they talked over you. The face when it sinks in that you didn’t listen a single word is glorious.)
5. If they interrupt you again, return to step 1. If you find yourself repeating the cycle over 3 times, tell them: ”you’re not letting me speak. Either you listen and wait for your turn, or our conversation ends here.” If they try to make excuses, laugh it off or keep interrupting, end the conversation. Prove them that if they wont let you speak, they’re not worth your time.
Why does this work? First, because sometimes talking over is internalized and men don’t actually notice they’re doing it. Being vocally called out makes them realize it and pay attention to it - especially if it happens more than once. Secondly, by refusing to aknowledge anything they say when they interrupt you, they’ll soon realize they will not get their own point across if they keep doing that. Peoole and especially men have the need to be heard and paid attention to when they talk - when you make it clear that by talking over you, they will not have your attention, they’ll learn to wait until you’re done, because they know that’s when you will be paying attention and actually listening.
Go my darlings. Have some actual conversations where your point of view is just as valid as his. Demand the basic respect of being heard. You can actually have some interesting conversations with men when they’re forced to listen too, when being louder is not going to make them feel like they’re dominating the conversation or winning the argument.
This is gonna be fun.
alcohol culture is so wild…people all over fb will be sharing a meme like “i can’t have just one glass of wine, it’s always 2 bottles and 3 people i can never look in the eye again” as if that’s normal? but if a meme like that was going around about cocaine or any other drug, everyone would be like “sounds like a drug problem bruh”
alcoholism is SO normalized and it’s such a toxic environment honestly
This article is a fascinating and horrifying observation of alcohol culture in present-day America – especially in the context of women and the “wine mom” attitude seen on Facebook in particular. It’s one of the most eye-opening things I’ve ever read, tbh.
I’m glad to see some video games venturing a tiny bit past “skinny girl” into “skinny girl with faintly toned arms” but I long for the day when our murderous rampaging heroines look similarly busted as their male counterpoints - I’m talking busted and pronounced noses, gnarly and decidedly un-pretty faces, brick shithouses, beer guts, limbs that aren’t twig-like, scars and gashes and burns aplenty, the works …. not just some woman created by a man who is like “OK, I wanna make a hot girl but also she’s a little tough”
this is too real though
SNL has pretty much never given any fucks but lately they’re at the point of giving negative fucks
You can tell the audience is struggling to not aknowledge accurate this is since the accuracy is the funny part.
Taika Waititi talks about the double standards applied to “rogueish” characters based on their gender in this interview.
another thing that massively pissed me off about Stranger Things S1 is the idea that a girl raised in borderline isolation who doesn’t know words like “friend” or “promise” and doesn’t realize she has a name would immediately try to be “pretty” and fixate on that… Duffer brothers delete your account
Second verse, same as the first: a girl raised in borderline isolation who doesn’t know what “girlfriend” or “dance” or “date” are sees The Boy She Likes talking to Another Girl precisely once and immediately fixates on this girl as a mortal enemy and a source of Core Rage… @ Duffer brothers talk to a woman someday
SHOUTOUT TO THE MISS PERU 2018 CONTESTANTS FOR GIVING STATS ABOUT WOMEN’S ISSUES INSTEAD OF THEIR BODY MEASUREMENTS
What’s it like to switch places with Nicole? Maybe harder than you might think…
IM YELLING
Part: 1/2
Yoo Jae-myung, animation director of The Legend of Korra, discusses Nickelodeons initial hesitancy to accept Mike and Bryans proposal of the show… and Korra.
“The sequel focuses on the incarnation of the new Avatar, Korra, as she tries to save a city called the Republic City.”
“So, Korra is a young girl , not a boy. Heroes and protagonists are usually men.”
“That actually became a problem.
Nickelodeon was reluctant to produce this animated series at first because the protagonist was a girl.
I guess you could say that Americans are more conservative than Koreans.
The production was suspended just because the protagonist was a girl.
To compare this situation to a movie production, it’s as if the lead actor has already been cast, but the production agency decides to stop the filming because they don’t approve of the actor.”
Part 2: (x)
Full interview: (x)
- [x]
Fun fact: I did a research paper for an upper division course detailing how gender and gender roles affect movies and TV shows, and I used Bryan’s thoughts as evidence.
When I received feedback for the presentation on the topic, several classmates commented saying they didn’t even know Korra’s gender would have possibly stopped production.
And that pattern of skepticism from the studio end never went away either, which played into a lot of the production problems the series had, which in turn impacted the quality of the product (see: Book 2’s rushed scripting and the use of two studios with vastly different art qualities). Those things, of course, impact the response to the show. And this creates a loop, where studio people can comfortably look at a property that they helped kneecap, show that it didn’t ‘perform to expectations,’ and blame whatever factor they like–in this case, Sexism, but queerness and race issues can play in too–as the reason for it. Which is all another reason why Legend of Korra is my favorite damned show, because it’s kind of a miracle it even got made at all.
I think the weirdest thing about having teenaged boys yell: “suck my dick bitch.” at me is that there’s nothing I can say to them that will make them feel the way that makes me feel.
I have lived my entire life with this threat of sexual violence hanging over my head: I’ve experienced it too. They’re hitting me where I live.
Women can’t threaten men with sexual violence and make men feel small and want to crawl out of their own skin; it’s taken a lifetime of violent socialisation just like this (men leering out of cars since I was 12, peers reaching between my legs in junior high, uncles getting too close, sports coaches grabbing my hips, being groped on transit, being sexually assaulted) to provoke this visceral reaction in me. Men haven’t experienced this constant background radiation of violation that contextualises moment like this.
I get well-intended messages from men: “I’m sorry you had to experience that.” “Those kids are jerks.” I do appreciate people reaching out. The thing is: in the context of my life experiences, this wasn’t even a particularly traumatic incident, so much as an illustrative one. It’s one of thousands of these moments.
I made me sad and a little contemplative, sure, but I’ll get by; feminism really helps with that, because it gives me this (almost) unshakable belief that I am human.
But I don’t want to hear: “those [particular] kids are jerks.”
I want to hear: “I’m not going to tolerate misogyny in my own life, and among my social circle. This stops now; it stops with me.”
There is no threat I can make to a man that will make him hate the fact he was born in the body he was born in. The second I start thinking I’m a person, someone reminds me that to them, I’m just a hole. I’m a bitch. I actually can’t make them see I’m a person. That has to come from other men.
As I get older, I get more and more angry when men I know are hostile to feminism. Because it means they aren’t really listening, or even caring, when I describe the reality of my life. Feminism is my refuge, and the sole source of my belief that I’m not deserving of the way I’m treated. It is the only movement that has dared to put forth the radical belief that women are people.
I don’t even want to hurt the men who do things like this. I just want them to be kind. Yeah, I can carry my knife, or get a big dog in self defense, but I actually don’t have a lust for vengeance or causing people pain. That’s really the worst part of it: being better – being more human, more forgiving, more kind – than them, and still losing.
This is one of those pieces of writing that just makes me want to scream and bang my head on the wall and cry and give the author a gigantic hug all at once thank you for articulating this so well.
