The problem with studying Catholic heresies is that they literally made a hobby out of inventing fully realised heretical theologies in order to accuse each other of subscribing to them. Basically every single one comes with a big asterisk noting that it's unclear whether anyone ever actually believed this, or whether some random theologian just made up a guy to get mad at – and the worst part is that you absolutely cannot tell just from looking at them, because the heresies we do have evidence of actual practice for are, if anything, even weirder. Like, the guys who thought Jesus was a hologram were 100% real, so you can't rule anything out!

Reminds me of my favorite Uquiz: "Which early Christian heresy are you?" because of how weird it all is

i was actually genuinely hoping for a textbox bc i was sad einojuhani rautavaara wasn't on there

You go back in time to kill John Calvin and just as you're about to make the final blow he smiles. "Oh, so you're punishing me for something I haven't done yet? Something that's, let us say, predetermined? Kill me if you want but I've already won." You pause just long enough for him to tackle you and grab your gun. God fucking damn it, not again

- An old Hasidic joke that my Dad likes to tell me

An old Jewish lady ducks into a church one night during a sudden rain shower. The priest comes in while she’s waiting out the rain and says, “you can’t be here, we don’t allow your kind in here.”

So the lady stands up and grabs the baby jesus statue from their nativity scene and says, “come along bubbala, you heard the man, we aren’t allowed in here”

-my grandmother’s favorite joke

A rabbi goes to see his friend the bishop. “Listen,” he says, “there’s something I’ve never quite understood about the Catholic church. it’s hierarchical, right?”

“Right,” says the bishop. 

“So,” says the rabbi, “if you do a really great job as a bishop, you might become…what?”

“Well,” says the bishop, “if I’m fortunate, I might become an archbishop.”

“And if you do a really great job as an archbishop?”

“I suppose, someday, I could even be a cardinal.”

“And if you do a really great job as a cardinal?”

“I guess after that I could, theoretically, become the Pope.”

“And if you do a really great job as the Pope?”

“What would you expect me to become after the Pope?” says the bishop, who’s starting to get a little annoyed. “God Himself?”

The rabbi shrugs. “Well,” he says “one of our boys made it.” 

catholic guilt vs protestant belief in your own inherent superiority, fight

wait no I just remembered a few hundred years of history I take this post back

I have a really complex relationship with religion, but here’s something positive

Broke: Judeo-Christian

Woke: Judeo-Islamic

every time i see this post i think abt the time when i listened to a bunch of muslim and jewish students spent their entire 10 minute break arguing abt whether god actually cares you eat gummy bears (made with gelatin derived from pork) or not, standing by the vending machine and eating gummy bears the whole time

i mean. i guess a bit part of my annoyance with dragon age’s portrayal of different religions is that, IIRC, bioware has no intention of disproving the Maker as an actual deity while the elven Gods have now firmly been proven as being simply powerful mages and not gods. i feel like more respect is being shown to the pseudo-christian religion in letting its god being left as a ~mystery that no one knows the right answer to~   while religions typically coded non-christian are up for grabs. it really irks me. 

my opinion will change if they deconstruct the maker in the same way, but not until then.

This seriously grated, especially because the game narrative stops you at several points and essentially forces you to sit through several soliloquies by the Andrastean companions and advisors on the nature of faith, and how faith inspires,  how it brings people together and gets them to act and work together, and therefore faith is so important  even if the tenets of the religion are not literally  true…

…but not for the Dalish. The faith that binds them  together through genocide and diaspora is just childish, foolish superstition. Not the Avvar faith. Not the Qunari faith. Those are all ‘bad’ faiths. The only real  faith is the Chant.

No harm to any religion. It’s just a lamp ads by an Australian company. However, it’s funny!

I’m going to cry 😂😂

Ahaha, the reason why Mohammad is specifically mentioned as not being able to be there is because in Islam, portrayals and portraits of Mohammad are forbidden.  But they didn’t want to be seen as either hand waving him as at the table but not shown or as explicitly omitted.

Very smart move there advertising script writers.

This is so wholesome

But…who was the sailor? And was that Obi Wan Kenobi at the end there??

The Sailor who they call ‘Ron’ is L. Ron Hubbard, founder of scientology (He says “You’re famous?  Have you considered Scientology” and also “I gave up a meal with Tom Cruise for this”).

The Jedi at the end is because that’s an official religion because people were putting it on their census forms: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_census_phenomenon

i like this a lot.

exams would never be scheduled on christmas. no important sporting event would ever be played on easter. it’s about time that jewish holy days are given the same respect.

Exactly.

I should add that this isn’t limited to us Jews, either. In the past two years or so, both the Olympics and and the World Cup coincided with Ramadan, and a lot of Muslim athletes were left in the really shitty position of having to choose between either not fasting or putting their athletic performance at risk. If Christians had a fasting month, you bet your ass no sporting events would take place until it was over.

I am here for the Religious Solidarity movements.

My school created a God.

I am a student at an art university.

There is an infamous building on our campus, called “Montgomery House” or more commonly, “Monty.” Monty is the building for animation, game design, special effects, sound design, and basically everything that requires highly powerful, highly specialized computers and software. The building is infamous for a couple of reasons. It’s located pretty far away from any other building, for one. The building itself used to be a coffin factory, no joke.  Another is the building has no windows. None. There are also no clocks anywhere. Once you enter Monty, you are completely separated from the flow of time and the light of day.  Probably the reason Monty is most known though is because students in the “monty majors” have to spend a lot of time there. A lot. It is not uncommon for somebody to spend more than a few days exclusively within the sunless, dark walls of Monty. If you go to the building, it is not surprising to see students sleeping on the floor, on the few chairs available, on the computers. Some bring sleeping bags and rations. Some just forgo sleep, buy espresso shots and work. The entire building just smells of coffee and sweat. It really seems like an exageration, but its not hyperbole. 

Why I bring this up is because of something that’s started recenetly. Inside the building, the school has hung up artwork on the walls from other majors as is typical on campus. One of the artworks was a self-portrait painting of a man with long, scraggly brown hair and a full beard looking pensively off into the distance. The painting became known as “Monty Jesus.”

Students, in their desperation for their files to render, or the computers to work, began to offer prayers to Monty Jesus. Soon, they began writing their prayers and taping them next to the painting. The wall is now covered, completly plastered, in prayers to Monty Jesus for things like “Fix the wifi” and “let me live through finals” and more simply “help me.” Candles have been added. Literal candles are placed around Monty Jesus in hopes he will help them.

This is how religions are born. Monty Jesus is considered a “joke”, but people at Monty still hold…. quite a lot of superstitious faith in the concept. There is even talk of a “Monty Satan” that creates software failures. It might be in jest, but these students really are hoping for some force to help them. And they’ve given it a name, an image, and respect.  Monty Jesus is real, and I’m sure of it. The desperate students have created their own spirit and their own form of worship, out of need.

Religion, spirituality, didn’t stop being relevant. It didn’t stop being something people need and want, and have the desire to create. It’s still happening, and it always will as long as their are people.  The spirit of creation, new deities and new worship, is alive and well today and should not be ignored simply because it is “new” or “a joke.”

hey there LGBTQ kids who are also Christian/Jewish! If you feel like you’re disobeying God, questioning your faith, or feel wrong and dirty for loving who you love, there’s this fantastic site I found today called hoperemains that accurately and thoroughly combs through scripture and its (many) mistranslations, validates your orientation, and basically let’s you know that you’re not pissing off God. It’s insanely thorough and after reading through every page on the entire site it’s super helpful. Go check it out!

No no no! Jewish LGBTQ kinderlach! Go to Keshet! 

hoperemains is completely from a Christian perspective, and not pluralistic or interfaith at all.

If you reblogged the first post from me please reblog this amendment so the Jewish peeps can access this resource too! 

Trans Jewish kids, you can go to TransTorah as well!

"I write 95 theses and nail them to the church door" -Wizard

"It bursts into flames, your arcana skill reveals the door is enchanted against Reformation" -DM

No you don’t understand how frustrated I am that we always depicted the Apostles as old men, especially when it comes to during-Jesus-alive stuff.

They were probably late teens to early 20s, given the time and the description and some Biblical passages.

They were not ancient old men with long ass beards and wrinkles at the Last Supper.

They were young adult rebels with a cause.

where my punk-rock apostles at

And none of them were WHITE.

Good Guy Pope Francis

That is what it means to be a good Christian/Catholic.

Take notes Westboro Baptist Church.

If you have suffered a tragedy and someone says, “you’re in my prayers" with sincerity, and you respond with some egotistical shit about being atheist you are an emotionally inept moron.

For real though like think about it. If someone is religious, there’s really no kinder sentiment they can express than appealing to the highest power they know for your recovery. Whether or not you think it “works" is irrelevant— the kindness is absolutely real.