omg no wayyy

i feel like i have a lot of weird stuff that happens to me but only slightly weird. like the radon gas in my house isn't good but it's not enough to make us sick. a kid in my high school built a bomb and accidentally sent a picture of it to a group chat and we had to evacuate the building but the bomb itself turned out to be really negligible and not an actual threat. an art college put my vriska drawing into one of their promotional brochures but they only mailed them out once so not a lot of people saw it. etc

bestie what the fuck

radon gas

bomb one is self-explanatory

vriska college brochure

time

this homestuck discourse shit is easy

gamzee kills people because he is trying to spoil the show; he's going off script because he wants to be written out.

before murderstuck, gamzee has no idea that he is a clown. sure, he anoints his face with greasepaint, rides a unicycle, and juggles, but these are serious religious sacraments to him. and, sure, sometimes he trips on his giant floppy shoes and lands face first in a pie, but that's just being blessed with a miracle, because he was just thinking about pie. and, sure, sometimes his friends say things like "HEY ASSHOLE. CLOWN ASSHOLE. YOU WORSHIP A CLOWN RELIGXON. FOR CLOWNS." to him, but he's too zonked on sopor slime to extract any meaning from it.

when gamzee sees the ICP miracles video, he's too sober to dismiss it as a mere coincidence; for once, he gets the joke, and realises that he was the butt of the joke the whole time. he understands that every time he fell face first in a pie, it was the work of an unsen riddler. he grasps that he is, in a cosmic sense, a clown, and hates it.

the next time the curtain rises and hussie says "everyone look! he's about to do something stupid!" gamzee goes shithive maggots and starts mauling his friends and fondling corpses; every time hussie says "don't worry, folks, he can't hear us making fun of him! everyone point and laugh!" gamzee gets angrier. that's what the "are you next?" bit is about - gamzee is aware of, and hates, the audience.

when the murder spree is over, gamzee's beatific grin returns; no longer a look of blank ignorance, but a knowing smirk. he's successfully ruined his character forever - no one wants to see him and no one thinks he's funny. hussie seems to say: jesus you are such a shitty clown. and gamzee's impassive face seems to say: i know.

gamzee refuses to clown out of spite, and hussie refuses to remove gamzee from the story out of spite. it's a committed relationship of reciprocal, mutual antagonism. what i'm saying is that hussie and gamzee ar

Look at that beautifully low quality. He will never switch apps halfway through again

so i’m re-reading homestuck. currently i’m near the beginning of act 5. assorted thoughts:

1. rose is so fucking funny. fanfic writers never remember this

2. speaking of rose — her classpect means that in fanart and fanfic, her mysterious seer-iness is highly emphasized. but in acts 1 through 4, the mysterious one is jade. DREAM VISIONS! ENIGMATIC HINTS AT PROPHECY! TIME LOOP BULLSHIT! jade is THE mysterious seer-adjacent character. meanwhile, rose acts like she knows what’s going on but she basically never does. as a result, fanfic especially gives the mysterious-seer attributes to rose and jade is just sort of… there. (i am kinda guilty of this myself.) my new 2024 slogan: let jade be enigmatic as fuck!

3. the first time vriska ever appears — unless you count her username appearing without being directly referenced, which happens pretty early — is at the very very edge of a panel, in which you can see one of her horns. that happens a few times pre-act-five, especially in panels that involve terezi. honestly most terezi conversations pre-act-five get funnier if you imagine vriska looking over her shoulder like ::::/ or like ::::D

4. the fandom image of karkat is highly positive. the idea of his character is kinda locked to karkat as he appears in act 6 (maybe late act 5?), and fan depictions of early karkat (pre-sgrub, or simply early act 5) seem to retrospectively plaster his later characterization onto his earlier self. his general assholery is interpreted as blunted grumpiness that no one really takes seriously. that interpretation more or less makes sense for later versions of his character, but it’s startling how genuinely mean he is in early act 5! he’s such a jerk that in a conversation with early act 5 vriska he comes off looking worse! that’s HARD. and a really interesting facet of his character!

5.

considering homestuck is about kids playing a game, very little of the comic actually shows gameplay. sure, lots of interactions take place while the game session is in effect, but even in the early acts, the actual gameplay is rarely shown. we're more likely to see "on screen" the beta kids in conflict with their parents (rather than with sburb constructs), or the characters struggling to bring each other into the game to avoid meteors. the game itself appears on the page mostly as a series of frustrated conversations about the meta-game: the characters asking each other "why are we playing this? what are the consequences? what happens afterwards?"

if you contrast that with other stories with similar premises, or even other stories that involve games in general, this is really startling. it's a major departure from what you usually find in the game-that-turns-out-to-be-real subgenre of science fiction. instead, homestuck is a series of interstitial moments strung together, and its central drama is the experience of living in those interstitial moments.

to elaborate: homestuck is about waiting. the characters all begin with the hollow feeling that their life has always been missing something, that they're waiting for something they can't name. once the story is in full swing, the characters are stuck in transit for literal years, with nothing to do but fuck around, fall in and out of despair, have absurd romantic drama, and wander in dreams. and the readers waited for years for hiatuses to end! broad arcs of plot are conveyed through blisteringly brisk exposition (more or less the entirety of the trolls' game session, for example, happens "off screen"). moments of high drama happen in a blaze of minutes, and are remembered by readers as the high points they are — but if you weight the text by words alone, most of the story is people waiting.

that's fascinating. it's life approached sideways. it's a long, rambling exposition of what it means to live in a state of anticipation; to hover in the waiting room of your own life.

6. vriska being obsessed with nic cage is the number one funniest thing that no one talks about

7.

imagine if your world got destroyed by meteors and then you met The Firefox

8. feferi is SO ELDRITCH. she’s introduced as a cute and bubbly counterpoint to eridan, and then you hear a little bit about her relationship drama, but it’s a fairly minor node in a very large web of relationship drama. so that’s the expectation set up: sweet, bubbly, maybe a bit naive, and maybe a little bit tired of being nice all the time. AND THEN. SUDDENLY she appears in jade’s fucked up horrorterror dream to be EXTREMELY ELDRITCH and portend TERRIBLE YET BEAUTIFUL THINGS TO COME—

9. post-hivebent and pre-murderstuck, terezi is SUCH an asshole. it's amazing. i love her. she gets john killed, she gets various dave(s) killed, she feels bad about it but doesn't actually change her behavior meaningfully. she laughs at vriska for trying to conduct a rivalry by proxy via the beta kids, even though arguably it was *terezi* who actually turned it into a rivalry. to go back to an earlier point: you can see how the grumpy-uwu image of karkat developed, because when people start getting murdered on the meteor, his reaction is to go "OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD" and get emotional about how much he cared about all his now-dead friends... whereas terezi's reaction is this:

TOREADOORMAT? OUCH. it's not that she doesn't care, it's that she's a weird jerk about caring. she's simultaneously a good friend and absolutely terrible friend.

which gets me to my actual point: why have so few people in the fandom hated terezi? i mean, i love her, but i also love vriska and uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i think there might be a few people who uhhhhhhhhhhh don't like vriska very much! but most readers either (1) don't care about terezi, or (2) think she's great, even though she's exactly the type of weird, complex female character that typically gets disproportionate amounts of fandom hate.

my working theory is that vriska is such a lightning rod for discourse that no one had energy left over.

The Windsor Star, Ontario, July 8, 1926

🎉Happy 4/13🎉

With production of the CSAU comic dub in full swing, Eldritchdraaks was excited to do something related to it for 4/13. But, outside of leaking a whole episode, posting clips didn't feel that exciting. So, we took everything that's gone into the dub and produced a mini version to celebrate!

We picked 5 tiktoks and remade them with the same art style, animation, and voice acting as the comic dub, just to give everyone a bite sized look at what to expect. This video may not be specific to CSAU, it's just homestuck memes, but you're bound to enjoy it!

Art & Storyboards @merakisunset

Animation, Editing, and Tavros @eldritchdraaks

Hal, Dirk, and Karkat @River_Witch_VA (on Twitter)

Roxy @whimseyweasel SFX from pixabay

Song "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit

I do love how quietly influential Homestuck has been on a generation of animators because it means sometimes I'm just watching a tv show and I have to pause and ask "hey. is that Dave Fucking Strider in the background?"

Dude. What are you doing here

paint a bunch of heads then struggle to fit them all on one canvas

my favorite trolls (❁´◡`❁)

...aaaand these guys too :]

hello homestuck kinnies that live in my computer

i finally went ahead and made a classpect quiz based on my personal conception of how things work. that means it's probably one of the more accurate classpect quizzes out there. consists of two parts. 20 questions total. go take it, share it, argue about it, whatever. have fun.

you never see cross-fandom shipping anymore. there should be horrible discourse about chilchuck x karkat

for real though chilchuck would be way better for karkat than dave and it would give dave an existential crisis. karkat needs structure and drive but dave is just like a hang out dude, which karkat is fine with until he meets an adult man who is employed and realizes that being 26 isn't the same as being an adult. dave would be in absolute shambles and move out onto jade's couch and she would be super attracted to him but he's just not looking for that kind of thing right now....

the party meets chilchuck's new boyfriend at an alternian-style bbq and laios becomes obsessed with sampling all the different flavors of grubsauce

LAIOS: And the pails are for what exactly?

KANAYA: The Collection And Mixture Of Genetic Material That Is Processed Through The Mother Grub Into Millions Of Eggs

LAIOS: Wow!! Has anyone ever tried adding non-troll DNA to the slurry?

ROSE: I understand you're a student of the dark arts, Marcille.

MARCILLE: Hey, they're only called that because of short-sighted elven laws! Magic is just magic.

ROSE: Oh trust me, I couldn't agree more. In fact, I may have dabbled once or twice in the practice of forbidden majyyks myself. Have you ever seen the birth of a universe?

MARCILLE: N-No?

ROSE: Would you like to?

JANE: --and then you whisk until the egg forms peaks when you lift it up, like this see?

SENSHI: Mm mmm.

JANE: But the real chef's secret to a meringue is this, my patented Crockercorp Lemonator Concentrate. The essence of 10,000 lemons in a single drop!

SENSHI: That would pair very well with living armor, perhaps in a soup made of dragon bone broth...

JOHN: i like your cat! she gets annoyed when i stop scratching her chin haha.

MARCILLE: That's weird... Usually Izutsumi only lets girls pet her...

TEREZI: SO HOW D1D YOU TWO M33T 4NYW4Y? >:]

CHILCHUCK: Online dating. We matched on Fapr.

KARKAT: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL HER THAT!!!

i got a note that one of my lil rizzes looked like a hs sprite which is the best compliment i could possibly get

riz is, unfortunately, the best at sburb and cannot be stopped

@alfalfairy there will be more

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

im not exaggerating when this is one of the best additions ive gotten on any post, EVER, in my over 10+ years of being on this site

#Dave Lalonde would know what conditioner is and bathe regularly therefore unlocking The Curl #meanwhile Rose Strider would go full daddy's little princess #she would straight up kill that clown at her 5th birthday and then at her next one Bro would get 6 clowns and set up a fencing tournament #fully by the book the clowns are wearing full plain white fencing uniforms with red noses badly safety clipped to the face guards. #otherwise unidentifiable as clowns #but she knows. #the bloodlust remains. #rather than a pallet of cinderblocks Bro would deck out her room with a knockoff disney princess theme #like Mom Lalonde's secret bedroom in the ectobiology lab #but worse #the giant princess doll would still be gifted but it's lovingly handstitched and has emo makeup #as a joke that he knows she would want to Fix it but look he knows that so now she Cant so she has to figure out what would be a creative #yet ironic response #she of course is given unrestricted credit card access for their gift giving battles #in response to the fridge being filled with swords she gets an umbrella storage rack and puts that in the fridge #in steal of course #so they don't fall out at unsuspecting snackers #Bro adds some katana handled umbrellas and hooks a convenience store display of rain ponchos to the side #(meanwhile its still in the fridge) #so Rose makes a detailed 1950s style gelatin mold salad #she sets it on the counter next to the fridge under an oversized silver serving dish with a note about how she expects feedback #on her attempt to confirm to traditional femininity #the mold isnt set #its just a pile of sticky room tempature hard boiled eggs and cocktail sausages covered in lime jello #Bro diligently writes a review with pictures and posts in on a website he created and populated with comment bots for when this happens #the sites titled something like Puppet Princess's Piquant Plates and his reviews are in character as smuppet parodies of historical figures #rose buys 2 pairs of traditional Yellow rainboots and places them by the door #Bro is courteous and moves the fridge katana stand to by the boots. #he then perfects the salad recipe before Rose gets a chance and writes a terrible review of it in the voice of smuppet Tutankhamun #Rose is losing the irony battle but now the fridge has food in it again.

the real reason chilchuck is such a professional hater is cuz his VA kins/cosplays/voices Karkat vantas . Happy 413

anyone doubting this just look at this and see for urself

x

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