*sighs eternally*

funniest thing about living in the uk is there's like 3 transmasc healthcare specialists for the entire country so whenever you meet a trans guy who's had surgery you can be like "which one did you go for?" the same way you'd ask someone if they prefer butter or margarine on their toast. second funniest thing about living in the uk is we have a town called cockermouth and it's in cumbria.

can't even imagine what a working day must look like for one of those specialists. i like to picture him coming in and there's a row of transmascs lined up in front of him and he just raises his scalpel and cuts off all their tits with one sweep of his arm like a samurai

tags from @calamitys-child were too good to be lost

OBSESSED with the fact that buttons got so popular in England during the 13th century that they had to pass laws limiting how many buttons you were allowed to put on a garment. They really had to bring in the government to shut down the button mania. Buttons are the sexiest clothing fastener.

yesss! and I remember reading in fashion history class that some women sewed Too Many buttons on their garments but argued their way out of the fines because the extra buttons had no matching buttonholes so OBVIOUSLY they weren't actually functional buttons but beads!

I found the source again! The first-hand account is actually set in Florence in the 1300s (a little later than the 13th century and not England) but there too women would flagantly flaunt the sumptuary laws regarding, among other things, buttons and how many were suitable. Italy too said NAY BUTTONS ART TOO SEXY FOR THE MASSES.

Here is a snippet from Il Trecentonovelle by Franco Sacchetti translated into English:

Then he goeth farther and meeteth a woman wearing many buttons in front of her dress; he saith to her, 'Ye cannot wear those buttons,' and she answereth, ‘Yes, Messere, I can, for these are not buttons, they are beads, and if ye do not believe me, look at them; they have no hanks, neither have they any button-holes.'

Sources: 1, 2

My dad told me a Queen Elizabeth x 9/11 combo joke but idk if it works in English

It goes something like this

Q: Why can’t Americans play chess against the British anymore?

A: Because the British are missing the queen and the Americans are missing two towers (rooks).

To whoever unfollowed me for this: I didn’t even come up with the joke myself, you should unfollow my dad instead.

Refer to England as “a mysterious and warlike nation off the coast of western Asia”

i had a translation referring to it as “a land to the west where the sun is dead” and honestly that sums it up

5 minutes into Euro Truck Simulator and I’ve made the mistake of forgetting that I was in England.

oh my god im laughing because apparently so many people not familiar with the british education system think that the whole school houses thing was a made up thing in harry potter?? like no we actually have those

WHAT NO I DON’T BELIEVE YOU

(by John Finney)

I fucking hate how tumblr is so America based like are any of you even aware this just happened

CHURCH OF ENGLAND

YOU WERE INVENTED ESPECIALLY FOR DIVORCE

ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO PLAY THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE CARD

That comment.