" i do, i want you to be honest with me for once," she's almost begging, pleading for him to give her something, anything that would help her understand where this was coming from. feels blindsided, betrayed, and stupid for believing that they could be so much more than they were. " - how ? how do we not work ? " swallowing back the sobs that threatened to overwhelm her, she hated how weak she felt around him, how desperate she is for his love and affection. this wasn't her, she'd never been this girl before. myra had always been careful, guarded with her heart but he'd stolen it so effortessly. the moment the words escape him, the blonde can feel her breath catch in her throat, head frantically shaking in denial. " no, you don't mean that. " her trembling, small palm moves to cover her lips as a ragged sob finally ripped itself from her throat. " - how long ? for how long have you been lying to me ? " 

               throughout  the  entirety  of  this  conversation,  river  had  been  waiting  for  the  feeling  of  liberation  that  refused  to  come.  it  was  like  a  high  for  him,  and  it  came  every  time  he  broke  off  a  relationship.  always  made  him  feel  akin  to  a  bird  finally  free  from  its  cage,  from  expectations,  from  dragging  around  the  weight  of  another.  but  when  freedom  didn't  set  in,  panic  quickly  did.  the  realization  that  he  may  be  in  the  middle  of  a  mistake,  but  far  too  deep  now  to  pull  himself  out,  nearly  had  him  choking  on  his  anxiety.  tension  and  pure  fear  boil  over  at  her  question  as  he  booms,  "i'm  not  IT  for  you,  alright?!  i  can't  give  you  what  you  need."  words  betray  his  own  mind,  unable  to  stop  the  mental  flipbook  of  their  every  touch,  the  nights  they  shared,  his  confession  of  love  that  brought  on  all  of  this.  feels  his  eyes  glass  over  once  her  own  emotion  runs  over,  but  he  swallows  hard,  forcing  it  all  down.  when  she  begs  for  more  information  on  his  fabricated  affair,  his  mind  is  too  fried  to  conjure  up  more  lies,  and  he  can't  imagine  making  this  any  worse  than  it  already  was.  "myra,  i  am  fucking  begging  you  —  drop  this,"  he  leans  in  for  punctuation,  gaze  one  that  burns,  "all  i'll  do  is  make  you  fucking  miserable.  all  i'm  gonna  do  is  make  you  miserable.  you  need  to  go  find  someone  else."