✨𝓛𝓮𝔁𝓲✨

Man, I would loooove to be a Judge but I'm waaaaay too indecisive.

*Trial*

Me: "Uhhh, I guess I'll just imprison you for a bit. Idk what do you want? I'm cool w anything lol"

What's Your Number was a bad move for CE's career imo because it further cemented in the minds of H'wood directors that he's just a pretty face with a good bodb(*cough* fuckboi *cough*), not capable of portraying characters with depth.

Snowpiercer was one of his best performances. 😬

Idk, maybe this is just me, but why do people look to "celebrities" for opinions on science and politics and such? Not saying that they lack intelligence, but they're literally paid to sit still and look pretty. Any other views they have is probably a combo of bad judgement+priviledge+lack of proper knowledge. Sure, they're public figures, but most of them aren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

Ykw sometimes I wish I could be as mean as Regina George or Heather Chandler

Being nice sux sometimes

Can I not be mean and belt a song like "Candy Store" every once in a while???????!

Legit touch starved to the point where I will weep if someone even accidently bumps into me. :)))))))

.

A Dildo shop called Schlongs-R-Us.

You're welcome.

I know I said that I don't like spending a lot, but I would legit adore a wedding like Priyanka and Nick, with lotsa people

Does that make me a hypocrite😖

Sometimes I like to pretend like I'm the star of a fan edit video with music in the bg and I don't know about you but I feel that's much better than therapy 💅💅

I'm sorry but what possessed Mackie and Cevans to sign the travesty that was Playing It Cool?

Scratch that, biggies like Luke Wilson, Topher Grace, Aubrey Plaza were in it and they didn't see the script and go WTF?! NOT EVEN ONCE?!

I'm sorry but I legit don't get all the Olivia Rodrigo hype. Like she's good but she isn't doing anything...new, imo?

Longish ramble, feel free to ignore lol.

A few days ago @gotnofucks said that I had had a bad couple of weeks, and only then did it strike me. Yes, I WAS having a bad couple of weeks.

Tomorrow it'll be a month since my grandpa passed. And it was a terrible month. Getting used to this new normal is hell. Actual hell. I see my grandma and all I can think is wow, how strong is she. She rarely cries. But I don't know how much of it all is a façade. She must be hurting. She must be so broken. 64 years+ of marriage, and it just ended like that, abruptly. She said her goodbyes. She was the last person he met and he said, "i'm leaving now. Goodbye."

People always tell me that I'm lucky that I had 20+ years with him. He's seen me grow up, seen me at my worst and my best. They tell me that 92 years is a lot and that I should be happy that he was with us for that long. The thing is, I am. I am happy. But it doesn't negate the fact that he's gone now. I couldn't even hug him goodbye or tell him how much I love him. I'm sure he knows, but I guess that's a regret I'll live with all my life. I lost my biggest cheerleader and my best friend in the blink of an eye.

I guess the point of this long-ass post is, don't put off mourning. Don't hide your sorrow. People have different ways of showing their grief. I am better than I was a few weeks ago, definitely, but still not a 100%. And that's okay. Don't let people tell you how to mourn, or not to cry. Let it out. Because at the end of the day, someday, in the future, those tears will be smiles. Those memories that seem gut-wrenching now, will be accompanied with fondness and love ahead. As my grandma said, time heals all wounds.

To anyone who has lost someone in these past few weeks or months or even in the past year, my love and strength goes out to you. Losing someone is terrible and the worst feeling ever. But talking about it really helps.

As for me, I don't think I'll be as active as I normally am. It is been a bad few weeks, and my writing has suffered quite a bit. I hope to come back soon, but again, I don't know when that is. To my mutuals, thank you. Thank you all for checking up on me, being a constant support and a shoulder to cry on when I felt like I was gonna fall. That includes @the-soulofdevil @madbaddic7ed @christhickevans @donutloverxo @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @pagesoflauren @gotnofucks and so so many more. Y'all are angels.

Stay safe, stay healthy and well,

Lots of love,

-Lexi.

I have somewhat of a filthy Ransom fic going on but idek if it's good enough lol

I am thirsty for that man like no other but I feel that being CE's partner would be vv tiring 👀👀

I want new meaty Cevans content, is that too much to ask for?

P.S. BITS Goa, you suck

P.P.S. Chris' team, we know you're lurking, tell him to drop new Dodger content.