Dialogue Prompt List One

Hey! I had a whole bunch of funny prompts that I have written down over the years from other sites and stuff, so I thought I would compile them all into one post. If you like any of them, request them (max. of two) with a favourite character and maybe a genre you want it written in. I thought this would be something fun to do as I have a bit of free time on my hands and I want to practice writing some short scenarios! Have fun and I love you guys. Feel free to repost <3 None of these prompts belong to me originally except for, like, one. Tumblr messes up the nice formatting I did on the computer so I had to fix it for mobile🙃 Now it doesn’t look like I wanted it to :(

“All I know is, one of us is right, the other one is you.”
“You did what?” “It wasn’t as bad as last time, I swear.”
“Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?” “Not until four.”
“I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.”
“Remove your hand or I will rip it off and beat you to death with it.”
“Ohh, so you think I’m cute when I’m angry? Well, get ready because I’m about to be gorgeous!”
“I’m going into the woods to scream for a bit, anybody wanna come with?”
“I am either going out for ice cream, or to commit a heinous crime. I’ll decide in the car.”
“So… I’ve just realised… that I’ve been shot.”
“I love it when someone insults me. That means that I don’t have to be nice anymore.”
“I don’t care if you are panicking - just… do it quietly.”
“Excuse me, I have to go make a scene.”
“Yeah, I have a plan.” “Is it a good one?” “I have a plan.”
“There are at least seventeen ways this could have gone better. Literally. Like, I’m counting them right now, you moron.”
“I have to go… iron… my cat.”
“You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”
“Your existence gives ma a headache, go stand over there.”
“You’ve got about as much charm as a dead slug.”
“Everything here can kill you, but I can do it the most efficiently.”
“look at you, sacrificing yourself for others! When did you get a heart? I had thought you lost your moral code.”
“Oh my God. You’re in love!”
“Just know that I love you. I love you with all of my fucked up, piece of shit heart.”
“If you don’t terrify people a little bi then what’s the point?”
“Is this coffee bitter?” “No, it must be you.”
“Wow, can we just pretend, for one second, that you’re not a complete douchebag.”
“You’re weird.” “Sorry.” “No, that was a compliment.”
“I will be the first to tell you that I am a terrible liar.”
“underestimate me. That’ll be fun.”
“I am not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this family brunch.”
“I know that I just spit blood all over you, and this is probably the wrong time, but I kind of like you.”
“Why are you such an ass?” “Everyone has to excel at something, right?”
“Did I ever tell you about the time I started a cult?”
You’re judging me.”“It’s what I do - it’s a hobby of mine.”
“Was that supposed to hurt?”
“Well, the best of the best weren’t available… so we got the best of the mediocre.”
“Give me the books!” “Only if you promise not to kill anyone with them.”
“Here, hold my dignity… I’ve got some sketchy shit to do.”
“What I lack in common sense, I make up for in sarcasm.”
“…on the bright side I am not addicted to cocaine.”
“I’ve found puddles deeper than you.”
“Well, aren’t you a little ray of pitch black?”
“Okay, listen, I’m not saying that I’m awesome and that you should definitely love me, but… yes, that’s exactly what I am saying.”
“You know I love you right?” “Yes.” “Okay, well since I love you, I want to tell you how much of a dumb ass you are being.”
“Fuck! I was so smart five minutes ago! What happened?”
“What happened to your face?” “Beauty.”
“You make me nauseous.” “It’s called love. You’ll get over it.”
“I’m not playing hard to get, I literally hate you.”
“How do you want your coffee?” “Like my sense of humour.” “Tasteless?”
“You shake when you get angry.” “I do not!” “You’re like an angry lil’ chihuahua.”
“Oh God, are those abs real? Can I touch?” “I don’t know. I feel objectified now.”
“Your self help group is turning into a cult.”
“I could run a marathon. Right now. I’ll do it.” “It’s literally 2 am.” “I peak at 2 am, you should know this.”
“If there’s anything I’ve managed to do pretty well in my life, so far it’s not die. So we’re off to a good start on that one.”
“I’m naked and afraid!” “I’m clothed and traumatised!”
“Can someone explain to me, in small words, why I’m being assigned to this mission?”
“Are you there?” “Physically, yes. Mentally is debatable.”
“Why aren’t you dating him?” “Because I’d destroy him.” “He’d been into that!”
“How are you feeling?” “Well, my eyebrows don’t hurt.”
“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”
“My grandma is a badass. She can break a man’s nose in a single blow AND she knits dope-ass sweaters!”
“Why does everyone fear you?” “Because I can do things they can’t.” “Like?” “Mind my own business, for one.”
“Damn it, why aren’t you obeying the laws of physics?”
“All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes!”
“It’s no surprise to me that things have turned out this way.”
“How was I supposed to know you were telling the truth when you said that danger was your middle name?”
“That’s not exactly a good coping method.”
“She is the embodiment of snorting chlorine and then drowning yourself in a pool.” (This one is mine and its about a teacher I use to have)
“I’m bitter and complicated.It’s one of my charms.” “I don’t think you know what that word means. Or how to count.”
“You scared me!” “Well, I am naturally terrifying.”
“Are you decent?” “Not morally, but I am wearing pants, if that’s what you’re asking.”

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