Angst with Miya Atsumu
warning: hurt to comfort and a little harsh words (bitch, hoe, jerk) -but not addressed to you-
You love Atsumu and maybe it's a little too much. A little too much than yourself and a little too much that it can feel unbearable.
It's been a month since the last time you met him in person. Atsumu has been so busy with his volleyball activities and on the other hand, you were also busy with college. Usually, the two of you would spend time at least once a week to go on a date or just lay around lazily in your/his apartment. Of course, the blame is not on him nor you, it's just the schedule won't make it. But since last month, his messages come less and less frequent, he did not even bother to call you. You had made an effort on contacting him, even scheduling a date. But he always says he won't make it and same as today, your chat was left on read.
You started to doubt, is this the price you have to pay for dating a pro athlete or it is just him who lacks effort. And so you sighed, choosing to watch a new series on Netflix. You originally intended to invite Atsumu to your apartment, just to hang around and cook his favorite dishes. But guess today is not the day (again). The series you try to watch turns out to be lame and boring, therefore you start scrolling through Instagram posts and instastories until one instastory catches your attention, it was Omi-kun's one hour ago at the nearby bar. There you can see your boyfriend hang out with the boys and some random girls. Not sure who they are, but guess they're an acquaintance because you can see one of them clinging too close to your boyfriend. You feel your chest is so tight and something warm trails from your eyes to cheeks. You realized how you just miss him so much and now you remember how he has been kept low maintenance to your relationship. "Why? Why is it so hard to at least give you a quick chat or call" "Does he just get bored with you?" Negative thoughts ringing in your head, breaking you down from inside. Hence to stop the commotion in your mind, you choose to sleep on the couch and forget it all.
You wake up from the sound of the opened door, open your eyes and realized it has been almost dinner time, the outside view has been getting dark. The second thing you notice is the presence of Atsumu, entering the living room and turning on the light. "Hi babe, I bought you cakes!" Atsumu greets you with his usual playful grin. "Oh.. okay thanks", you answered with empty eyes, still gathering your consciousness. He's still in the same outfit as on the noon, you assumed he has just gotten back from the bar. Atsumu still has no idea what happened to you. You look lost, eyes and head empty and he can't sense any excitement in you, for his presence.
He decide to approach you, embrace your frame like nothing happened "I miss u so much". But you don't reciprocate it but instead replying by "Having fun huh?", smiled but said it in almost a sarcastic tone. Confused Atsumu stared at you, "What do you mean? I've just gotten back from the MSBY meeting ya know?" "Yes, with a bunch of hoes", you rolled your eyes, remembering the clingy bitch from Omi's instastory. "Huh? They happen to be our fans and as a service, we decide to ask them to join us, that's all." "Yeah Yeah", you answered him indifferently although he has tried to explain himself. Atsumu grunts in frustration, "I'm so tired and just wanna see ya. Why are you treating me like this?", he raised his voice, almost yelling at you. But you countered him by the same question, "Then why are you treating me like this, Miya?" Never been in these 2 years you've been together, you called him by his last name, he sure it must be something serious then. the way you say it was not snapping but rather more like pleading. Your eyes feel hot just by staring at him, you can't endure your tears from overflowing for the n-times for today.
Atsumu panicking from the sight of you crying, he hurt and held your figure into his chest with hesitation, "I- I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap you, y/n". You shook your head on his chest, hands are now reaching his back to hold him with the same hesitation. "I just- I don't know if we can still work --if we can still work on us." You start to sob from your own thoughts, "I can't- continue like this. It was too painful and lonely for me. Is it too much to ask, to contact me for once in a while ?", words jumbled from sobbing and you still try to catch your breath. Your face now looks up for his. You looked miserable and the same goes with Atsumu, his face painted with remorse.
Looking into your eyes, there he realized how much he has been taking you for granted. You've always been supportive, one of the biggest mental support behind his successful career. Never protest for his tight schedule and for his bunch of fangirls, because you always trust him. Now he remembers how he neglects your call and chats, instead proudly saying that he has a very understanding girlfriend when his teammates mentioned you. But things are getting ugly and uglier when you realize you've been piling up things: your feeling for not being a priority and being neglected. "I'm sorry", is all that comes from his mouth. He knows it was unforgivable, he was being a jerk, and he couldn't fix it instantaneously. "I promise to work harder on this --I mean to put more effort on --on us", words trembling, Atsumu would fully understand if you choose to break up with him instead, but he can't imagine how his world going to be without you in.
"Okay", seeing his determination you answer him with your hoarse voice but it is enough to let Atsumu knows that you won't leave him -at least if he didn't mess up things again. So with a "Thank you" and "I love you", he promised to himself to treat you like you should be, to give you everything that you've deserved. The burden in your heart feels lifted and you caressed his cheek in the most loving way. His eyes look like he almost crying and you know now, it's going to be okay because you're not the only one who is willing to work on this relationship. You reach for his face with no hesitation anymore, hands hanging on his nape while he's securing your waist, you two locking lips with the same flutter in both chests just like years ago. "Then, please let me know what can I do to make up to you?", Atsumu holds you close like he doesn't want to lose you again. "Call me once a day" "Uhmm, then?" "Chat me about your day and your upcoming schedule" "Uhmm, any other things?" "I want kisses and cuddles", you give Atsumu a pout which he found really adorable. He peppered your faces with kisses, "Anything, anything you want princess" giggles following his words. The entire day is well spent by cuddling and kissing your boyfriend. And Miya Atsumu promised, the next time he makes you cry will be the happy one when he decides to propose to you, soon.