What colors do YOU bleed?

Chinese Eggplant with Garlic Sauce (红烧茄子) | Omnivores Cookbook

How do Chinese cooks cut vegetables

At first I was like, oh neat some fun tricks to make chopping faster and less messy, and then he made an extendable potato and I died

By the way, just in case this helps someone -

COOKING - creativity is okay

BAKING - stick to the recipe (you can usually adjust sugar content to taste, though)

BREAD - wait for the right weather conditions (or engineer them), be one assertive and self-confident motherfucker because dough can feel it if you aren’t, a blood sacrifice probably helps, trust the gods 

PASTRY - your God is dead, the god of gluten and madness is risen, abandon all hope ye who enter here

CHICKEN POT PIE

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Is this how you roll?

pretty much every vegetable you hated as a little kid would taste better if you roasted it with salt and olive oil instead of boiling it

The truth shall set you free

also sometimes if you just try it again with an adult palate because this is also a developmental issue little children are far more sensitive to bitter and metallic flavors it’s an evolutionary defense against poison

reblogging for science and culinary advice.

shit who the fuck was trying to poison their kids so much that we evolved into a species that kids need a mechanism against poison?????

Richard III

I really like it when the scientific and historical / literary sides of Tumblr come together.

Cooking and Baking Hacks

That last one is DANGEROUS. I do not need this much power.

^This

@delphine-le-dauphin

Easy and healthy chocolate banana oat pancakes

Really nice recipes. Every hour.

Show me what you cooked!

GARLIC CHICKEN AND BROCCOLI CASHEW STIR FRY

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Get your FoodFfs stuff here

IDK who this dude is but I like him 

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Mac And Cheese As Made By Terry Crews

his voice is like grass-fed organic butter kneaded by friendly old ladies

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

garlic memes??? i feel like his has such a niche audience but i feel it

Brah

damn she thicc

If anyone’s wondering, these were just made in rice cookers. (It has to be the nicer kind with the pressure cooker style lid not the cheap ones with just a simple glass lid.) I use mine all the time to make small coffee cakes; it’s the same thing with these giant pancakes. You just hit the white rice cycle three or four times until the pancake is thoroughly cooked. There’s actually a Japanese cooking blog that detailed all kinds of variations like making cheesecakes and pancakes with fruit filling and stuff like that.

Note to self, get new rice cooker with the pressure cooker style lid.