[Family Meeting]
Bruce: I’d like to adress the sudden rise in animosity the villains have shown towards Robin.
Jason, just back from a mission: [leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed] more than usual you mean?
Tim: A lot more.
Dick: Dami has recently decided to forget what the villains are called.
Jason: I- wait what?
Damian: [imperiously] I simply decided that memorising the names of criminals was an ineffective use of my cognitive faculties. Better I recall their behavioural patterns.
Jason: What exactly did you do?
-
Riddler: [appears dramatically in a puff of smoke] Well well, if it isn’t the little bird?
Robin: [coldly] Question man.
Riddler:
Riddler: It’s “the Riddler”
Robin: Who cares?
Riddler: [sputtering]
-
Robin: [drops down from the ceiling to interrupt a meeting between Penguin and his people]
Penguin: Great. It’s the boy annoyance.
Robin: [cordially] Birdman.
Penguin: I beg your pardon?!
Robin: [without inflection] My apologies. I have come to arrest you, Mister Mumble.
Penguin: Out of all the movies you could have insulted me with-
-
Poison Ivy: Oh my, looks like a little birdie has come for a visit.
Harley Quinn: [grinning] Nice of you to drop in tweety
Robin: [nods to Ivy] Daisy. [to Harley] Miss Mime
Ivy: what
Harley: [cracks her knuckles]
-
Robin: [throws a batarang at clayface]
Clayface: great. a mosquito.
Robin: …[with distanste] There is no need for insults, Mudpie.
Clayface: …
-
Robin: [calling in an arrest] Yes, I have apprehended Toto.
Scarecrow: [tied up nearby] Hey!
-
Joker: [Sees Robin swinging down in the middle of a hostage situation] Oh look! it’s the cavalary…’s pet.
Robin: [cordially] Mr Quinzel.
Joker:
Joker: Wh-
Robin: You are Harley’s husband correct?
Joker: [furious] no!
Robin: My apologies then. I shall endeavor to use your proper name… … [frowning] Mrs? You are wearing make-up. Is that it? Mrs Quinzel? I did not mean to assume.
Joker: [frothing at the mouth]
-
[back at the meeting]
Tim: to be fair he only does it when they misname HIM.
Damian: I have a name. It is rude not to use it.
Bruce: Damian. There has been seven attempts on your life this week alone. Stop.
Damian: no
Bruce: [grinds his teeth]
Dick: Actually, what ARE Joker’s preferred pronouns? Has anyone asked?
Jason: [munching down a power bar] It’s Fuckface McKidkiller