Writer Things

pour one out for noobmaster69

patreon | twitter | instagram

he definitely should’ve said hi

patreon | twitter | instagram

After Endgame Steve probably likes calling the mjolnir across galaxies and towards himself just to mess with Thor. He has to keep his arm up for three days straight sometimes but it’s worth it.

Thor has stated multiple (27) times that he isn’t afraid to punch an old man.

Steve does it anyway.

Steve is a dick.

the lesbian power is strong

*help her kill

okay i have a loki question

how the fuck did odin sneak him into asgard?

like, heimdall saw that shit right? odin comes back through the bifrost and heimdall is just “…………….”

heimdall: that’s a baby

odin: yes! he’s my son! ………..loki. i’m going to dress him in green and black, because that worked great last time

or odin comes back and is trying to figure out, how to play it, and heimdall and frigga are just waiting for him and completely deadpan

frigga: ah, husband! you have returned from war in time to meet your newborn son. who i had. after being pregnant. secretly.

odin: what

frigga:

heimdall:

loki: *baby noises*

odin: right

honestly, i just need heimdall going up to frigga like “you won’t believe what your husband just did”

odin: he’s a replacement for the child I had to lock away in the shadow realm.

heimdall:

odin: I’ll do better by this one.  I know I will.

heimdall:

heimdall: You mean Frigga will.

Odin: Please can we keep it? It’s cute and changes colours and smiles at my empty eye socket. I promise I’ll take care of it I’ll feed it every week and I’ll dress it in green and black and I’ll teach it to throw knives and it will be great!

Heimdall: Frigga, he stole a baby. Say something.

THIS IS THE BEST THING

I like to imagine Frigga visiting Heimdall and they have tea and gossip about how much a mess Odin is.

Hiemdall: *plopping into Friggas parlour and already reaching for the cup Frigga is passing him* Lemme tell you what wild shit your sons are doing in Alfhiem

Hiemdall rollerblading into the throne room this week with sunglasses and a piña coloda: Your Majesty, you’re not going to fucking believe this stuff your son brought back from Midgard.

Frigga, iceskating down the bifrost with three bottles of tequila wearing a mini cape from a midgardian children’s dracula costume: Heimdall, my good bitch, I have news.

the ending of Thor 2 is even better with the knowledge that Loki was evil-smiling at the end over his diabolical plan to force Asgard……… into community theater

I refuse to acknowledge any canon other than: Loki has been planning the great community theater takeover ever since he realized conquering other planets required working with the sort of unsavory people that make you stop your skincare routine and every single action he takes in Thor 2 should be read with this end goal in mind

EVERY TIME he has a plotty face in Thor 2 it’s because he’s mentally updating his casting list or making shopping lists with things like: green silk, posterboard, acrylic paint, glitter (craft and cosmetic), grapes

I love the huge cultural differences in Space Marvel™… Asgardians like speak in iambic pentameter and use beatiful, eloquent words and then the guardians are like “y'all’d'nt’ve'f'i'dn’ve!”

Loki: our cruel and terrible sister, Hela, Goddess of Death, emerged from the unknown and brought upon our land a storm of suffering and chaos, the likes of which have never been previously known to civil creatures

Rocket: anyway this dickhead Taserface threw me in his pirate-ship prison cell lmao it was nasty

Valkyrie, Lady Sif: we are classically trained, elite, and highly effective warriors, who are equal parts dignified, celebrated, and feared

Nebula: lmao what if I cut off my own hand - oh my god I’m gonna do it, watch this

Thor: welcome to Asgard, the most beautiful and prosperous of all the nine realms!

Peter: here’s our ship, it’s tiny and disgusting but it’s all we have, we love it

Heimdall: Never before has an intruder slipped past me. I want to know how.

Drax: *laughing loudly w his head thrown back* If you kept your floors dry the intruder would not have slipped on his way past you!

Hela: Tremble before me, Asgard, as I usher in the dawning of a new age! We shall once again become the conquerors of the universe!

Groot: I am Groot.

One is a high fantasy book. The other is a dnd game

TIME FOR PLAN B

patreon | twitter | instagram

Hilarious🥀👐

This is so my favorite Thor movie

that “oh shit” line is my absolute favorite moment in the history of Thor movies

Why does this fucking movie read like a god damn crack video but ITS ALL CANON AND REAL WTF MR WAITITI

SOGREAT

BIG MOOD

patreon | twitter | instagram

anyone else think it’s really interesting how when thor found out that gamora was the daughter of the man who killed half of his people, his brother, his best friend, he simply patted her on the shoulder and told her that family can be rough sometimes? like instead of acting in anger or grief, thor immediately tried to empathize and comfort gamora. he lost everything, but he didn’t even think for a second to be mad at gamora for her father’s actions. it just goes to show you how good thor is.

Thor comforting Gamora. Thor connecting with Rocket over loss and grief, while trying to force himself past it and Do What Must Be Done, while openly crying anyway. Thor convincing Eitri that his skill isn’t in his hands, but in his mind. Thor moving sulky, apathetic teen Groot to heroism and self-sacrifice. Thor effortlessly seducing the entire Guardians crew. Thor going from gallows humor to deadpan delivery so smoothly other characters aren’t sure if he’s being earnest or joking. (Both. Both at once.) Thor, if anything, being more powerful than he was in Ragnarok in a nod to solo film continuity and character growth. Thor blasting alien armies to hell while still taking time to introduce his new friends and exchange battlefield jabs with Steve. Thor!