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Writer Things

@blogginghaley / blogginghaley.tumblr.com

Haley, 25, MFA Candidate at The New School, TFA Alum, NYU Grad, and Writer- Nerdy and Proud :) "I like following the rules and doing what's expected of me."
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hellcheerful
fitz-simmons.tumblr.com
Who, me? Do a follow forever in time for the new year? Ha, as if! I do my follow forevers sporadically and in constant fear that I’m forgetting a ton of great people like the cool kid I am! No doubt many of you will be wondering who in the fresh hell this rambler is so I should probably clarify that I follow everyone as orswallowedinthesea (my old URL from the Coldplay era). Long story short these blogs are amazing and everyone should follow them. Happy 2018 everybody!
Also a special shoutout to these absolute goddamn stars, I adore you all: @ainswerths, @blogginghaley, @chrissydaae, @dad-sweaters, @hickeynicky, @murdocknatchios, @perksofbeingafanboy
a-f: @adamsdriver, @alicias, @altraviolence, @amanitacaplan, @ameliawilliams, @amyjake, @amypnde, @anadearmas, @andrewgarfielld, @annamisdaily, @anthenia, @anthracinus, @artemiese, @arthurpendragonns, @arwens, @asheathes, @athosds, @azcendio, @bahtmun, @bb8s, @bensolcs, @bobnorley, @brad-pitt, @braugherandre, @capitolfalls, @captainheroism, @carriefiser, @cassiesullivan, @catfromjapan, @chrispratt, @clairelizabethfraser, @clarraoswald, @claryalec, @colewald, @cophines, @dailypepperony, @daisysjohnson, @daniels-gillies, @daylightring, @deadgwen, @dumledore, @elektranatchyos, @emmaduerrewatson, @forbescaroline, @forwoood, @foxscully, @frayclary​
g-p: @generalantiope, @ghosthills, @heart​ @itsthatunique, @jaimelannistre, @jameskirk, @jediknightrey, @jemmablossom, @jlaw, @jones-jessica, @jonswno, @kalebkrychek, @kateautsen, @knockturnallley, @lady-arryn, @leejordan, @letitia-wright, @lizzie-mcguire, @loveofromance, @lunaloved, @lyanna-mormont, @lydia-martin, @lydstilinsk, @mashamorevna, @mcavoys, @meraofxebel, @mrtnlyd, @nateural, @nwetss, @noorasaetlre, @notahammer, @odairannies, @odious, @ohmystarsy, @princessofpoldark, 
r-z: @reyynas, @richardrankin, @riversongsmelody, @rosetylecr, @rrahl, @sebstns, @sirxusblack, @skittlesinthere, @srgtpeppers, @starklys, @stiles-lydia, @stupidape, @stydixa, @summer-roberts, @targayrens, @thenorthern-girl, @thestoryandyou, @thominho, @thorodinson, @tiffanyachings, @tompayne, @travellersfarfromhome, @tsaritsacatherine, @varous, @vesperlynds, @volchitza, @weloveperioddrama, @wholove, @willyra, @winchestheart, @zedayas, @zendaya-colemen
Source: fitz-simmons
#oh my goodness#thank you so much though?#also#i'm never organized enough to do a follow forever so v impressed
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nbkatara
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tastefullyoffensive
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prismatic-bell

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH

I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click

And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”

So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is

“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”

I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:

“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”

I accidentally called the director of the FBI.

My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.

This is my new favourite story.

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therobotmonster

When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.

There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server. 

The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors. 

During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”

So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound. 

I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.

So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…

“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”

It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.

There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.

The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring. 

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arctic-hands

Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.

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voroxpete

But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.

Seriously, this is legit.

In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.  Here’s the ad they posted.

Only problem is, they misprinted the number.  And the number they printed?  It went straight through to fucking NORAD.  This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.  NORAD was the front line.

And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD.  Oh no no no.

Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.”
“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.

And then, it got better.

“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.

For real.

“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”

So yeah.  I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.

Source:  http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport

#oh my goodness#love all this
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chekhovyourprivilege
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k4nine
Jason Steele:
So I was planning on saying how awesome Salt Lake Comic Con was and how much fun we had which is all true, but then say my favorite part was the engagement but it’s already been announced on Twitter, Facebook, and Buzzfeed. So I’ll just share all the pictures. Chris Evans bought 5 of these for us and gave us a big hug. Hayley Atwell signed the picture with Chris Evans. They even told Anthony Mackie who congratulated us later in the day. Aside from being engaged it was an experience I will definitely remember forever. ‪#‎SLCC2015‬

WOW!! congratulations!!

Source: facebook.com
#oh my goodness#this is the sweetest#mcu cast
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littlesciencebabies
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fluffyfuzzball
I mean I just don’t understand why Skye insisted I try these outfits! It’s not like I’m going undercover anytime soon… Simmons? Simmons!

Secret Valentines gift for dreamerinamirror who I can apparently not tag? Anyways the request was Fitz getting a makeover for some reason or another (in something that Trip or Ward might wear) and Jemma reacts :)

Also probs uploading some bonuses on my art tumblr because I owe you that much for being so bad at messaging -_-

#i don't know why skye insists i try these on#oh my goodness#this is like right out of fanfic by skye#i'm dying#perfect#fitzsimmons
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chekhovyourprivilege
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mickisketch

Those brave, darling kids.. I think nothing other than Harry being targeted would have made them leave the war and go into hiding. 

#i'm sorry#i usually try to keep this marvel themed#but look#this is just#so painful#BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS#it's easy to forget just how young james and lily were#i mean#oh my goodness#they died when they were 21#I AM 21#and they already had a baby#and had to deal with so much#but the movies make them look like they were sooo much older#and just#i really want a marauders story okay?!!!#this gives me so many feelings#lily evans#james potter#small babies#harry potter
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jemmasimmons
Here’s the first of my Fitzsimmons Secret Santa gifts, and this one is for littlescienceloves! I cannot tell you how much I had to contain the shit-eating grin I had on my face when I met you in person and realized that I was your secret santa, especially when you turned out to be on of my favorite people on this site. I’m so happy that I got to write this for you. What was meant to be a one-shot, based on your “pregnancy fluff" prompt turned into a large multichapter idea for me, so I’m giving you the first two chapters. I’m going to keep adding to this fic, and I might change this up a bit, but I hope that this is the gift that keeps on giving for you. I haven’t put it up anywhere because it’s still very much a WIP. I hope you can forgive me for that <3

“Hey Jemma,” Fitz whispered, softly prodding his wife.

Jemma shifted lazily, turning over to nestle her head between his neck and shoulder. “What is it, Fitz?” 

“Do you know what engineers are really good at?”

Even though her eyes were closed, Fitz was certain she was still rolling them. “If this is a pick up line— ”

“No, no,” Fitz cut her off exasperated.

“Are they really good at talking when someone is trying to fall asleep?” Jemma crinkled her nose as she grinned, drawing up one leg so that it settled across Fitz’s thighs. Even though they had been together for years now, the touch of her skin still made him tremble with happiness.

“Have you been with enough engineers to create this statistical trend?…OW!” His sarcasm was quickly returned with a pinch from Jemma. “Anyway, I’m talking about engineers having a decent sense of planning.”

“Planning?” Crossing his legs at the ankles, he set his free hand behind his head. His other arm cradled Jemma to his side. “Yeh. You need to make sure every little bit of the device works and at the proper time and… and well, that’s not my point. Engineers are good at planning, and timing too – wouldn’t you say I’m a good engineer?”

“You’re alright,” she said dryly, but a hint of a smile played on her features. “Aw no, Jemma. I’m all right as a husband, barely tolerable really. But I think I can say I’m a decent engineer.” “Oh Fitz,” Jemma kissed him lightly on the collarbone, “I’d say you’re much better than tolerable.” His face broke into a smile, and he began to absentmindedly, though still very delicately, run his fingers through her hair. “Fitz,” she reminded him, “your sense of planning right now may not be so excellent though.”

“Jemma, Jemma.” He sighed, “That’s because you’re caught up in the short term. I have to look out for the long term.” He lifted his hand from her hair to gesture above them. “A universal sense of time even. Space too.” He grinned. “That whole continuum I might know something about.” Lifting her head, Jemma made a fist of the hand resting beneath her and set her chin upon it. Now looking at him eye to eye, she raised one interrogative brow. His hand came down out of the air to rest a moment on her shoulder. He then propped himself up, and reached over to the nightstand, where Simmons’ birth control lay. Taking it, he rolled back over.

Eyes fixed on hers, he said, his voice trembling slightly, “I think.. maybe… if you want to… you could stop this?”

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blogginghaley

BEST SECRET SANTA GIFT EVER (*squeals*) 

#fitzsimmons#fanfic#MAGGIE IS THE BEST#OH MY GOODNESS#(also super impressed that you managed to keep it secret)#(on a scale of secrecy i am jemma simmons talking to sitwell)#seriously#maggie is amazing#and other incoherent noises of excitement
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Anonymous asked:

Hello honey! would you please... FitzSimmons + "I knew it was a mistake to get the twins matching clothes."

"That one’s definitely Peggy," Fitz said, standing over the crib. "Or…"

"Oh, for heaven’s sake," Simmons muttered, walking over to his side. "I told you not to buy matching Curious George onesies for the twins."

"Oh- hey- how did this become my fault? We both agreed they look cute."

"Fitz, you got them dressed this morning," Simmons pointed out. "It is most definitely your fault." She sighed. "You know, there is an easy way to figure this out."

Fitz looked at her for a long moment, head slightly tilted. 

Simmons rolled her eyes and picked up the nearest baby (the one who was 'definitely Peggy'). She walked towards the changing table. "Mummy's just going to check your nappy," she cooed. 

Fitz picked up their other child and went to stand beside his wife. 

"Oh, your son is just going to love to hear about the time you confused him with his sister," Simmons smirked, buttoning the onesie back. 

"They're two weeks old!" He said a bit too loudly, causing Peggy to start fussing in his arms. 

"I'm still going to tell everyone about this. Skye will just love it."

Fitz simply responded with a far softer, "Two weeks."

And that was the origin of the story of 'the time Fitz got the fraternal twins confused' (which, obviously, became a team favorite).

Send me a couple, get a cute kid fic :) 

#fitzsimmons#oh my goodness#actually squealed when i saw this prompt#yes#so much yes#Anonymous#mini fic
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