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Writer Things

@blogginghaley / blogginghaley.tumblr.com

Haley, 25, MFA Candidate at The New School, TFA Alum, NYU Grad, and Writer- Nerdy and Proud :) "I like following the rules and doing what's expected of me."
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Anonymous asked:

So I have a crush on this guy names Tim. He goes to my college and my roommate is dating his roommate. We know who he each other is and he says hi *my name* when he sees me. But other than hi, that is it. But he is the cutest, kindest, guy ever and when he says my name, I melt into a puddle of soup. :) Have a good day!

Omggggggggg. I am such a freakin hopeless romantic. ASK HIM OUT. GO FOR IT. 

PS I’m terrible at actually taking this advice. You know what, this is going to be a bit of a story time. 

Soooooo. I don’t know how to deal with crushes. I asked my friend how do you flirt. 

Response # 1: Unzip his pants. 

Response # 2: Flash him. (actually she started to pull up her shirt and said do this.....)

Response # 3: Give him a blow job. 

I am probably one of those innocent things ever. So this friend, and then my roomie, well, they were trying to make me blush. I know that. On a certain level. But guess what? I. Blush. Every. Single. Time. 

They gave me real advice, too- which was to actually ask him out/do something. But because I am terrible at handling romantic feelings, well.... They sorta stuck with response # 3. 

In fact, every time I talk about crushes, they bring up response # 3. So, when my roommate looked at me all serious, I should have known. 

In the sweetest voice, she said, “Look, I just want to see you happy. You should just ask him to go grab coffee or something............. and then give him a blow job under the table.”

My friends are the worst and I love them. 

So, here’s my advice for you. For anyone with a crush. Invite them out. 

And then give them a blow job under the table (or eat them out, depending on their biology and all). :P

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Watching a TV Show About High School

Before High School: OMG this show is so real. This is life. I can't wait to talk by my locker and party and never have schoolwork. Worried about the drama though. And werewolves/vampires?
In High School: Um no?
After High School: I'm sorry but who gave those small children alcohol and taught them about sex???
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