Commission for 10-k-p, who requested Agent Leo Fitz presenting Clint Barton with a spiffy and high-tech new hearing aid, courtesy of SHIELD.

mcu bird squad + birds rights activist

“They need to socialize with other children, Barton!” 

Brave is a very emotional movie for Clint  

I love Clint Barton because he’s the kind of guy who would ask if he could get an Avengers discount at Starbucks

#piece of shit motherfucker probably would #and he’d find a way to get it too #*flashes avengers ID* #probably uses it to get out speeding tickets too #”no no see it’s alright i am an AVENGER” #”that means i save the world and stuff…” #”so you’re welcome” #”no need to give me a ticket see look at my AVENGERS ID-card” #ends up getting a ticket anyway #story of your life #drops by mcdonalds #slides avengers ID over the counter as a form of payment #official avenger coming through #doing hero-business #please step aside ma’am i am an avenger #that means i work with captain america #yes #good ol’ cap #the big c #why yes he does smell like freedom and apple pie

#then one day a barista or shop assistant asks cap if he’s got his avenger id for the discount#and steve gives him a blank stare#and just before he says there’s no such thing as avengers discount#nat comes up behind him#slams her id down#‘yes we both need avengers discount’#reminding herself to high five clint later#because ‘avengers discount’ has clint written all over it (via annperkin)

clintscoffeepot

Clint Barton will save 15% on everything if given the chance jusT WATCH

But then he WOULDNT use it on things that count.

“Clint you would save nearly $300 if you use it-”

“Shhhhh, Tasha, this bow speaks to me.”

I’m also all about Clint using his discount for other people. Like shit you know he’d help out a mom in the grocery line or a kid who can’t afford to get ice cream. “Hey this kid works with us in Avengers tower.” “Isn’t he like 12? How does he eve-” “Internship.”

“Starting to root for this guy” as in “They sent me to kill her and I made another call” kind of root for this guy? Did he and Coulson make a deal after the whole whoops-Black-Widow-is-now-an-asset-sorry-Coulson deal where Coulson made Hawkeye promise to tell him when he started rooting for the person he was supposed to shoot in the head? How many times has this been a problem for Hawkeye? Is he, like, known in SHIELD for being the agent who might adopt the target you sent him to kill?

I firmly believe that this is what happened with him and Natasha. Like, Fury gives Clint the order, the next thing he knows Barton’s dragging Natasha in being like BOSS CAN I PLEASE KEEP HER I PROMISE TO CLEAN UP ANY BODY PARTS SHE LEAVES LYING AROUND PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEASE

And his instincts aren’t bad, he manages to pick out people who will actually be assets, so it makes Coulson think twice when he says it?

HEAD CANON ACCEPTED.

# BARTON STOP BRINGING IN STRAYS

“IF YOU WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR YOURE AN AVENGER” Coulson (heard in the distance): “DANG IT BARTON”

Alright. But then at some point (after the Avengers find out Coulson is alive), Barton is like “Um I see you've adopted a group of tiny small agents...” and Coulson just yells “IT’S DIFFERENT I’M DIRECTOR I CAN MAKE THESE CALLS.” 

(Barton is super proud that he got to be a positive? influence on our dear Director Dad). 

#Steve’s reaction is priceless

Hawkeye hitches a ride on all the other Avengers

Pretty sure that the reason Nat was positive that little Barton Baby #3 was going to be named after her was like 49% because of love/respect and 51% because a certain Clint Barton lost a bet. 

I think that bet was called “getting brainwashed and almost taking out a helicarrier until someone saved him.” 

“Alright, but how was I supposed to know that any of that would actually happen? It’s oddly specific. And, really, we made this bet ages ago. Again, it was SO specific. WHO KNEW SHE WOULD ACTUALLY SAVE ME FROM TAKING DOWN A HELICARRIER WHILE I WAS BRAINWASHED? WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING???” 

i know everyone goes on about the ‘we’re fighting an army of robots’ line - but this is the standout funniest line in the movie for me

Agreed.

Yes!