“Are you alright?”
“I’m great, I swear.”
And maybe it was the way James’ accent shifted, making a single syllable word into two; maybe it was the way he was looking at her and he was so close she could count every color in his hazel eyes behind glasses; maybe it was because they had been dating over a month and she was his girlfriend but they hadn’t even kissed yet. Because James Potter moved slow. Because James Potter waited. Maybe it was the spontaneous gesture of a date in the Heads Office on a Tuesday, the room decorated with paper snowflakes James made by hand, or all of Lily’s favorite sweets that were shared over conversation that had her cheeks hurting from laughing so much. Maybe it was his handsome face and the way his sweater pulled over shoulder muscles. Maybe it was the fairy lights behind his head and the wine he had got just for her, but she reached up to put her hand on the side of his face, for once thankful she was in heels, unable to stop herself from waiting any more.
“Am I making you nervous?” she asked, noticing how James swallowed at her touch.
“Always.”
“That can’t be good.”
“It’s the best. Like just before a Quidditch game…or the night before Sirius’ birthday–” Lily laughed a little, “But…better. Because…you’re beautiful and brilliant…and I get nervous looking at you because I can see everything. I see a future and children and a stupid big house with extra bedrooms and a yard…” he said, smiling at her and Lily had to look away, though her hand was still on his face. She had gotten used to James Potter compliments that stole her breath and every functioning brain cell at once. The sentiments that were so intense Lily didn’t think there were words in the English language she could respond with. Her body usually gave her away.
A flush on her face.
Her other hand went to the center of James’ chest, his heartbeat racing under her palm.
“You see all that when you look at me?”
“And…more…but I’ll keep those thoughts to myself for a bit,” he smiled down at her and the flush deepened. James kept looking at her, eyes scanning her face, her hair, her lips, her green sweater, down to the boots she had on her feet.
“You wait for good things…”
“I do.”
“It’s been a month..”
“Five weeks. Who’s counting though? Certainly not me…”
“Do you not want to kiss me?” she asked, barely above a whisper. Familiar words she had said almost a year ago trapped underneath enchanted mistletoe, James leaving her hot and bothered with a single kiss to her hand. She should’ve known then how hard she would fall. How easily she would be swept off her feet by a boy who loved to listen to her talk and opened doors for her and took time to plan dates outside of Hogsmeade.
“I definitely do,” he said quickly, a slight tremble in his voice.
“I really want you to,” she told him, “Because…I’m…a second away from seeing my future in you too and I really need that future to be full of good snogging. And some other things too but…for now snogging seems…important.” She leaned closer to him, tilting her head up as James bent his down, her hand moving to the back of his head. The messy curly hair she once hated, now entirely hers and crept into the back of her mind in the middle of Transfiguration and other inopportune times.
She could feel James hand cautiously move to her waist, as she pulled him the rest of the way down to her, anything else that could’ve been said lost against their mouths as they met for the first time.
Slow. Gentle. Careful. Warm.
Easy.
Lily was a package labeled handle with care on every surface and James and his rough Quidditch player hands and heart big enough to fit the whole world into was never going to drop her.
Soft. Sweet. Unbearably perfect.
They pulled apart, the lights behind James head glowing brighter than before, the colors in the Heads Office suddenly made brand new.
James smiled slowly, his hand still on her waist, Lily’s hand still on the back of his neck and in his hair, “…Will…that do for your future?”
Lily let out a breathy giggle, moving closer to James if possible, and nodded. “Yeah. That’ll do for our future.”
–