i really like your take and i agree! i personally like the idea that it was public knowledge that james had a big fat crush on lily and that he was not secretive about it. and i do think he is one for big romantic gestures. but i feel like lily herself definitely probably thought it was just a big joke to him. i hate when people try to bash james by saying he constantly harassed her or something because we literally don’t get any indication that he did AND i really doubt lily would be with him if he had seriously crossed her boundaries or something like that. i just never got that vibe
also good point about sirius’s line (“nah, she didn’t”) i never thought of that particular implication but ur so right!!
hey! I’m so glad you agree!
one of the points I want to emphasize with you ask is “I really doubt Lily would be with him if he had seriously crossed her boundaries.” YUP!
I feel like something that people forget is that for a person to knowingly violate your boundaries, you have to actually set and articulate boundaries to that person. I honestly don’t think that if James were to have asked Lily out in some flamboyant way, she would have taken it seriously enough to tell him to fuck off and never talk to her, or something like that. I honestly think she was just like “well time to find some new adjectives to decimate this man’s ego real quick!”
I also think that this ludicrous idea that James bullied her into dating him stems so much from how little JKR gave us about Lily’s character, and how sanctimonious and prim she’s often portrayed in fan discourse. Lily always gets described in this very perfect-dream-girl way, which is a disservice to both the complexity of her character and her agency as a woman. Like, she was incredibly bright, canonically cheeky (!!!), and brave enough to take on the darkest wizard ever multiple times. what does it say about our perceptions of female characters in HP that the only way people think of her responding to James’s antics is with no humor or nuance?
@clare-with-no-i I absolutely always thought that too. He only asked her out once in canon. And @ghost-of-bambi has an excellent post somewhere but essentially who the hell knows that a bloke likes ruffling his hair to show off or plays repeatedly with a snitch unless you've been keeping an eye on them because you fancy them, Lily Evans, cough cough??
She definitely already liked him, which is why Snape was additionally angry at her for trying to save him from Potter in SWM because he is a misogynistic git imo - he hated her seeing him weak and defenceless and more powerful than him, and he lashes out in a nasty way. And I always think Harry got his sass from Lily. James isn't sassy in canon, Lily is the one with the quick retort I'd rather date the giant squid. James is flustered around her and manages to sound like an idiot (which we know he is far from, because he and Sirius were top of the class in canon). James is loyal and brave and a bit reckless/impulsive and loves mischief and many things that Harry is also. I always write Lily like that (cheeky, popular -canon) as well as clever and a prefect, and it gives me great pleasure. Plus, writing her as half Irish (the way I imagine her), it gives great scope for some wonderful put downs 😉!
Anyone implying that a guy would be able to manipulate canon Lily into marrying them if she didn’t love them is clueless about her character. Plus the matching patronuses means they were perfect for each other. I love the fact that they were both so skilled in dueling that Voldy tried to recruit them, and that they defy him three times!