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Blithering Mc Gonagall

@blitheringmcgonagall

Until the Very End
She/her
Jily/Wolfstar/Marauders addict
Jily fanart by the great @0kat0
Lily Icon by wonderful @constancezin
18+ ONLY PLEASE
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lily finding james' intelligence sooo irritating and always being pissed off when he answers questions correctly in class or gets top marks in a test, and she always tells her friends that she's irritated purely cause he's a conceited show off about it.

until one day when james and her are kinda becoming friends and he's just explaining a theory in class and lily can't help but listen intently and stare with heart eyes and by the time he finishes, lily is resisting the desire to snog him and when that clocks in her head she just whispers, "fuck"

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After 20 years in this fandom, I'd seriously gotten to a point where I thought I'd seen everything. But seeing a Sn*pe stan posit that James only joined the Order to "show off" is a level of idiocy I never thought attainable.

@mppmaraudergirl It’s called desperation 🤣🤣

  • The guy who from at least the age of 11 despised pureblood supremacist bigoted bullshit
  • The guy who immediately accepted his friend had a condition that was terribly painful, stigmatised af, and dangerous, and his reaction was to think - cool with this, and how do we help the chap?
  • The guy who along with his mates became animagi and risked Azkaban on a monthly basis to help make his friend’s monthly transformations less traumatic
  • The guy who at the risk of being killed or turned, saved Snape from being killed by a werewolf (because Snape had the stellar idea to try to break into the place where he knew a real life werewolf was being kept on the full moon, purely because he wanted to out Remus because he hated him and the marauders). I don’t care what excuse you come up with “oh he only did it to save his friend” - yeah, regardless of his alleged motivation, he still risked his life.
  • The guy who at the time that the wix world was at war was chosen by his school as Head Boy because he had the moral authority to be a good leader at a time of crisis
  • The guy who joined a secret, illegal, dangerous underground organisation as soon as he finished school in order to fight said murderous bigoted wankers who were hell bent on torturing and killing muggleborn wizards (such as his beloved wife) and muggles
  • Note this guy was a very rich pureblood who could have sat on his arse and done nothing but show off his Quidditch skills, play with his equivalent of sports cars/elite university/jet-setting/clubbing etc and play international level Quidditch
  • Or he could have thought sod it, I’ll join Voldy and his mates (cough, cough, Severus -I’m so in eh supposedly love with Lily- Snape) who at this stage were winning the war and outnumbered those fighting against him by 20:1 (canon)
  • The guy who along with his kickass, talented wife was so skilled and talented a fighter that Voldemort himself tried to recruit them despite knowing they were a blood-traitor and mudblood (you’re telling me Voldemort tried to recruit him because he was short of show-offs on his team, yeah? The guy who had Lucius Malfoy in his bro band?)
  • The guy who along with his wife defied Voldemort three times? Which was such an extraordinarily difficult and dangerous thing to do that Voldy immediately narrowed the field down to two couples when he learnt the prophecy…
  • The guy who kept fighting against Voldy when members of the Order were dropping like flies
  • The guy who stepped in front of Voldy wandless to buy his wife and baby time to escape and who was killed by him?
  • The guy who when he appeared out of Harry’s wand had this effect on Voldy:

“And he came… first his head, then his body, tall and untidy-haired like Harry, the smoky shadowy form of James Potter blossomed from the end of Voldemort’s wand, fell to the ground, and straightened like his wife. He walked close to Harry, looking down at him, and spoke in the same distant, echoing voice as the others, but quietly, so that Voldemort, his face now livid with fear as his victims prowled around him, could not hear…”

Bro, dude, pal - he may have been a painful teenager who was mean to and hexed Snape (and vice versa - canon) but to say he wasn’t brave is, sadly for you, simply not true (and most Snape stans will admit this, regardless of what else they believe about James)

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In which sirius’ family dies when he’s in his sixth year, he’s left with the house, and the marauders get bullied by a portrait.

The only pureblood home Lily has ever ventured into is the mansion the Potter’s own. Grimmauld place is nothing like it, even without the inhabitants to haunt the dark rooms and marble halls. The only semblance of normal is the line of portraits, mostly of Sirius, but featuring another, slightly younger boy occasionally.

Lily snorts at the one in the middle, featuring a nine year old Sirius sitting stiffly in a large, ornate chair, glaring at whatever poor artist had been cajoled to sit through hours of Sirius Black.

The figure straightens, flicking his narrowed eyes in her direction.

“And you are?”

Lily glances down the hall.

Dozens of small Sirius’ had turned to look at her.

“Lily Evans.”

“Do you attend Hogwarts?”

Straightening her robes, Lily glares right back. “I do. I’m in my sixth year.”

Sirius sneers at her. “I bet you’re a slytherin.”

“Would that be a problem?”

“My entire family has been in slytherin. I’ve yet to see anything significant from their education. Other than shovelling money down the minister of magic’s throat. Or sitting at home, eating cake and scones.”

Disdain rolls off his tongue easily, and Lily suddenly understands why all his portraits have been relegated to the most secluded part of the house.

Remus appears at her side, peering curiously into the rich pool of oil paints, each stroke puzzled together with the single goal to antagonise. James trails behind, wiping soot off his hands and onto the pristine wallpaper.

“Do you monitor your meals?” Sirius demands.

Remus scratches the back of his neck.

His boyfriend as a menacing nine year old was disconcerting. And weird.

“I suppose. Why?”

“Because it looks like someone has slipped a draught into your food and stunted your growth.”

James cackles loudly, shoving his glasses up his nose. “Brilliant, Padfoot.”

“What are you laughing at?” Sirius asks, flicking his haughty gaze to James, where it roves over his bedhead. “I’ve seen pubic hair better maintained than that.”

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I absolutely want to know about the Minty oneshot please!!!

🧡🧡🧡

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Lmao that’s because you’re a dote! I doubt most people are even remotely interested in a fic about Mia and Monty Potter 🤣🤣🤣🤣!!

Okay well it’s a one shot about how they got together after being apart for over 10 years after school ended?
It’s set in the 1930s (because it seems I’m obsessed with that era!)
It mostly takes place in Hogwarts (past) and Florence/Tuscany (present)
Mia was in an axxxxxxx mxxxxxxx before she got together with Monty

That’s all I can say because that’s all that I know so far lmao!! Oh I found a Monty fan cast but that’s all ;)))

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squintclover

a. This sounds amazing.

b. YOU CANT TEASE A MONTY FANCAST AND NOT SHARE!!!

Ok well it’s some randomer but I like the vintage vibe? And slightly messy potter hair? I mean I picture him more grinning than suave, but maybe this is the angsty bit before their happily ever after? And maybe he’s try to look cool to woo her? (This is the Hogwarts version, if anyone finds the older 30-ish Yr old chap let me know!!)

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I absolutely want to know about the Minty oneshot please!!!

🧡🧡🧡

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Lmao that’s because you’re a dote! I doubt most people are even remotely interested in a fic about Mia and Monty Potter 🤣🤣🤣🤣!!

Okay well it’s a one shot about how they got together after being apart for over 10 years after school ended?
It’s set in the 1930s (because it seems I’m obsessed with that era!)
It mostly takes place in Hogwarts (past) and Florence/Tuscany (present)
Mia was in an axxxxxxx mxxxxxxx before she got together with Monty

That’s all I can say because that’s all that I know so far lmao!! Oh I found a Monty fan cast but that’s all ;)))

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squintclover

Streaming

"And why would you want this device, Little Lily?" Remus asked, flopping down onto the sofa and immediately putting his arm around her.

"Grandad sandwich! A grandwich, if you will." Sirius said, squishing the three of them together.

Lily laughed. "It's for streaming. So I can talk about telly stuff back at Hogwarts, most Muggle and half-blood houses have one."

"And you can't scream without it? It doesn't look like a very impressive birthday present, my heart."

"Grand-Pad, it's stream. And trust me, once you've used it, you'll want one too." Lily got up, patting both their knees condescendingly as she left.

Sirius waited until she'd left the room.

"Hey Moony… I reckon I could make you scream without a device, don't you?"

"Still 'stream' babe."

Aaaaahhhh!!!

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for the @wolfstarmicrofic prompt green // very vaguely nsfw

Sirius hated the beach. His pale skin was too susceptible to burning, no matter how often he recast his sun protectant charms. Padfoot loved it, though, gallivanting through the waves. James got a kick out of playing fetch with him. He’d toss the ball into the ocean and Padfoot would bolt after it, getting knocked around but emerging victorious with a robe of green seaweed wrapped around his torso and the ball firmly secured between his teeth.

Today, though, Sirius wanted to sit on the beach with everyone else, pining over Remus as he read his book and got tanner and tanner. Lily had promised to bring him some Muggle potion for his skin that she swore worked better than any charm. 

“Here, you just squeeze it on and rub it in,” Lily said, tossing him the tube. 

Simple enough. He set to work spreading it all over himself.

“Oh, you won’t be able to reach your own back,” Lily said, a terrifying glint in her eyes. “Remus can do it. Remus, come help Sirius put sunscreen on his back!”

“Lily, no,” Sirius said, too late. Remus was already walking over. Sirius gulped.

“I got it, Pads. Lie down on your front,” Remus said, and when Sirius complied, Remus straddled him and squirted a long line of sunscreen down his back.

Sirius thought he was going to die. Remus took his time rubbing in the cream, his big hands making slow circles across Sirius’ shoulders. Remus made his way down, sweeping just under the waistband of Sirius’ swimsuit. And that was a problem, because Sirius’ imagination ran away with the possibility of Remus going further under the swimsuit, maybe even pushing it down. He squirmed, pressing his growing erection into the sand.

Remus leaned over, his mouth so close to Sirius’ ear that Sirius could feel the tickle of his breath. “You all right, Pads?” asked Remus, low and amused. 

He gave Sirius’ hair a light tug and Sirius’ hips jerked forward. Sirius barely managed to bite back a moan.

“I’m great,” he said, about six octaves too high. “I’m just gonna, um. Stay like this for a minute. Tan my back.”

Remus laughed. He rolled his hips against Sirius, and for the first time, Sirius could feel something hard pressed to his back. It felt like…but couldn’t be, could it?

“That’s nice,” said Remus, still slotted against Sirius. “But I think we’ll have more fun if you turn over.”​

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✨✨(💝)

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Sirius turned and pushed through the kitchen door, feeling his face burning. He needed to get it together. He was Sirius Fucking Black. He did not get flustered. He made people flustered. It was time to wield some of that power.

But then he turned around just as the man was pulling the apron over his worn Nirvana t-shirt and tying it around his waist. He folded his forearms over his chest and looked at Sirius expectantly.

Sirius’s mind seemed to take on a life of its own.

He’s looking at me, why is he looking at me? Um, maybe because you’re the teacher? You have to be the teacher now. OK, but he looks really fucking good in that apron. Stop it. People wear aprons all the time. It’s fine. It’s totally fine.

“It’s fine,” Sirius said out loud.

And then he pointed at the man with finger guns.

Finger. Guns. He had to walk away.

Send me a ✨ and I’ll answer with a line from a WIP

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“You know you dont have to sit there bored, right?” Remus eyed his friend lounging next to him. “You can go off and mess around with Prongs, I know you want to. I’ll be fine here.”

Truth be told, he was enjoying the company. Sirius had been uncharacteristically quiet the past hour, staring up towards the ceiling and occasionally glancing at Remus. Remus felt a bit more secure with his friend radiating heat next to him, especially with the upcoming full moon. That didn’t stop him from worrying about being a bother, though.

“Nah, I’m good. I quite like watching you study, your face gets all scrunched up and concerned looking when you come across something you don’t understand- like this,” Sirius sat up and pulled his face muscles together in imitation. “It’s cute. And anyways, you’re warm. Why would I go bounding around with James in the cold when a perfectly good Moonbeam is sitting right here”

Huh. That was different. Remus felt something stir in his chest, the sound of his heart beat rising in his own ears.

Sirius made to lay back down, repositioning himself to rest the side of his head against Remus’ knees, smiling a bit while his eyes went tracing the features of his companion. Sirius’ cheek squished where it was rested against Remus, and oh. Remus looked down as he realized what that chest feeling signified. Oh, shit.

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The Marauders Map scene in POA: Verbal Fencing Between Snape and Lupin

I kind of made a shitpost about this a while ago, but I decided to actually analyse now. *Puts on gloves*

The fun of having Harry-centric third person POV is rereading the books and seeing things with context of what we know. The particular scene I am pulling up is classic veiled fencing between adults, while Harry remains clueless.

Snape discovers that Harry has been going to Hogsmeade illegally (thereby making his job of protecting him harder - as he says: "Everyone from the Minister of Magic downward has been trying to keep famous Harry Potter safe from Sirius Black. But famous Harry Potter is a law unto himself. Let the ordinary people worry about his safety! Famous Harry Potter goes where he wants to, with no thought for the consequences")

He gets him to empty his pockets and sees the parchment we know as Marauders map. Once he tries to get the parchment to reveal it's secrets, the map insults Snape.

As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map.

"Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business. "

Snape froze.

Given that he reacts to the first insult, I am inclined to think he recognised the names. Since Marauders were openly calling each other by their nicknames in Pensieve memory, it's not a stretch to assume he knows. And then he calls Remus, supposedly on the pretense that since the parchment is full of Dark Magic, and Lupin is the Dark Magic expert as DADA teacher, he would recognize it. But the readers know that the actual Dark Magic expert is Snape, not Lupin, so it is clearly an interrogation that was borne from him recognizing the names.

"You called, Severus?" said Lupin mildly.

"I certainly did," said Snape, his face contorted with fury as he strode back to his desk. "I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this. "

Snape pointed at the parchment, on which the words of Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs were still shining. An odd, closed expression appeared on Lupin's face.

"Well?" said Snape.

Lupin continued to stare at the map. Harry had the impression that Lupin was doing some very quick thinking.

"Well?" said Snape again. "This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?"

Snape tries to see if the map gets a reaction out of Lupin, but Lupin immediately has defaulted to a "closed expression". To prod Lupin further, Snape makes a veiled accusation that Lupin gave Harry the map to lure Harry out of school and into possible danger. As we know from end of the book, Snape believes that Lupin and Sirius are working together: "I have been telling Headmaster again and again that you have been helping your old friend into the castle, and now here's proof". We see him relaying these doubts to Dumbledore in the chapter after Sirius's Halloween break-in - that he thinks it's impossible to get inside without help, a conversation Dumbledore shuts down in front of Percy Weasley.

Thereby, in this scene, he is implying that Remus is working with Sirius to lure Harry out of a safe space by handing him their old invention as means. A fact Remus immediately cottons to. He confirms this when Harry asks him after the scene:

"Why did Snape think I'd got it from the manufacturers?"

"Because. . . " Lupin hesitated, "because these mapmakers would have wanted to lure you out of school. They'd think it extremely entertaining. "

To deflect this accusation as well as to cover for Harry in front of Snape (who Remus has a poor opinion of as an authority figure - as established in Boggart scene), Remus goes for a feigned Deer in Headlights approach:

"Full of Dark Magic?" he repeated mildly. "Do you really think so, Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anybody who reads it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke shop --"

Snape, angry, presses the accusation further:

"Indeed?" said Snape. His jaw had gone rigid with anger. "You think a joke shop could supply him with such a thing? You don't think it more likely that he got it directly from the manufacturers?"

Remus goes so hard into deflection that it is almost comical:

"You mean, by Mr. Wormtail or one of these people?" he said. "Harry, do you know any of these men?"

"No," said Harry quickly.

"You see, Severus?" said Lupin, turning back to Snape. "It looks like a Zonko product to me --"

Ron comes in at this point and confirms Remus' story.

And then he accidentally slips up:

"Well!" said Lupin, clapping his hands together and looking around cheerfully. "That seems to clear that up! Severus, I'll take this back, shall I?" He folded the map and tucked it inside his robes. "Harry, Ron, come with me, I need a word about my vampire essay -- excuse us, Severus --"

After pretending the entire scene that he knows of nothing of the map and it's probably a Zonko product, Remus has a Freudian slip of: "I'll take this back, shall I?"

Snape is not having a good time in most HP books, but POA is especially a book where he is having a No Good Very Bad days.

For more reading on traits touched upon here, read this meta by u/metametatron4 [Remus Lupin: Canon vs Fanon]

Another amazing and thought provoking meta from the brilliant @ashesandhackles

A must read

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