Break My Heart

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“You know, I’m sick and tired of this, Potter!” 

He looked up at the irate tone, hands still caught on the papers he shuffled. “Evening to you too, Evans,” he said. Lily breezed past, all flying red hair and flushed cheeks, and dropped her bag onto an empty chair. “Should I even ask?”

She turned around, hands on her hips. “Well, I’m gonna tell you either way.” James pressed his lips together to hold back the amusement, and leaned on the table with his arms. Once she knew he was paying attention, she nodded. “So, I was walking down from the tower, right? And at least four—count it, four—students stopped to ask me whether I’m shacking up with James Potter, and is it true that he has eight packs under those school robes?” 

He didn’t even bother suppressing the laughter this time, heart pounding as he rounded the desk, crossed his arms. “And what did you tell them?”

“Obviously that they shouldn’t believe in rumours quite so easily,” she huffed, face pink still.

“And?”

“And that they were wrong. You actually have a huge belly that could rival Professor Slughorn’s under there.” She tried to keep her face straight, but he still spotted the barely held twitch of her lips. “Sorry, Potter, I’ve officially turned you unattractive.”

Excitement bubbled, and he pushed off from the table, sauntered closer to her. Lily’s eyes flashed, thrill evident, the green turning something dark. 

Merlin, she drove him mad.

“Good,” James said, reaching out to twirl a strand of red hair between his fingers. Her breath caught somewhere in her clavicle when he pressed closer still. “I don’t much care about what they think. Just as long as you like the belly.”

She half-laughed, half-sighed; a sound he wanted to swallow. The urge to do so was overwhelming, and he was bowing forward, hand pressed into her hip. “James.” She stopped him, eyes on his mouth even as she shook her head. “The prefects will be arriving soon.”

A weight clamped around his chest; the disappointment as familiar as it was unwelcome. He pulled back dutifully, but a look at the longing on her face, mirroring his, had the words tumbling out. “What if I said that I didn’t care about that either?”

Lily started, gaze rising to meet his. “What?” she breathed.

“What if—” he paused, “what if we admitted that the rumours were true? What if I asked you out, for real? Now? No more sneaking around, or making excuses, or trying to…not be loud. I’m tired, Evans. Aren’t you?”

She blushed a little, as he knew she would, but then her lips parted with a blank expression that infuriated him. “I am,” she whispered, “of course, I am, but—”

When her voice halted there, James sighed, the weight on his chest heavier, and expelled a humourless laugh. “But. Hate that word. Go ahead, break my heart—you can break it a thousand times if you so desire.” He waved a hand, took a few steps back. “It’s been yours to break since the day we met.”

Lily frowned, teeth biting down on her lower lip. “Don’t be dramatic, that’s not what I—”

“‘Lo, Evans! Potter!” Cassidy Cooper, sixth-year Ravenclaw, entered the room, effectively putting an end to their conversation. Lily shot her a greeting, but her eyes remained trained on him, looking no less irritated even with an audience in sight. It only got worse when the rest of the prefects pooled in within the next few minutes, and soon, they had no choice but to start the meeting or risk degrading to their fifth-year public debacles.

“Okay, so the patrol schedule will be up on the board by next week, as usual,” James announced about fifteen minutes later. “And really not much else to discuss this week. Does anyone have anything to report?”

A wave of mumbled negations rung out across the room, and then the prefects were leaving.

“Prongs.” Remus stopped in the doorway. “You coming?”

“Actually, he’s not,” Lily replied, not unkindly. Her eyes were narrowed at James. “I have something to discuss with him.”

Remus looked between them curiously, but shrugged and left them alone.

“Okay, look, Evans,” James started when she walked to the door and closed it shut. He waited for her to turn around before continuing. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and it wasn’t an ultimatum, but I—I mean, you’ve always known what I’ve wanted, haven’t you? I love what we have, but I still—”

“Shut up, shut up,” she snapped, collar flushed, and he was so stunned by the vehemence of her tone that he could do barely more than blink before she crashed into him, lips instantly on his, angry and firm and devouring all thought. 

James staggered only slightly at the attack, but had his arm around her waist the next second, mouth opening to the familiar taste of her, one hand buried in hair smoother than silk. “Merlin,” he groaned against her lips. “Is this you being mad? I knew I loved you being mad.”

“You, tosser!” Lily shoved him away, chest heaving, but he didn’t let her get far. “Break your heart?! What the fuck was that? You’re so stupid. I don’t wanna do that—”

“But?”

She smacked his shoulder, glowering. “No buts! I don’t wanna do that, so I’m not gonna. You just sprung it on me out of nowhere. You gotta give a girl some time to…to…”

“To?” he asked, eyes flitting between both of hers.

“To say yes.”

James felt his heart swell, a grin so wide blooming on his face that he couldn’t even reign in its stupidity. “Say yes to what, Evans?”

She cocked a brow, rolled her eyes, but gave him what he wanted. “I’ll go out with you, Potter.”

“Well.” He leaned down, whispered the words against her neck, “Only fair that we get a secret-snog farewell.”

“Mm, only fair.”