So much for my optimistic outlook, hm?
Or should I still hope that John leaves the Legends in a way I can be ok with? Right now I just feel crushed.
“Klemmer said not to expect a happy ending for John, who has a long history of self destructive behavior and attempts at redemption.” [link]
You know, what really pisses me off about all of this is the insinuation that if you’ve ever had self destructive tendencies or trust issues, if you’ve struggled with addiction or isolated yourself - so in short, if you’re a trauma survivor -, then that’s all you’ll ever be. You can never be happy, because your unhealthy patterns always catch up with you, pulling you back into misery.
It’s a familiar narrative, one especially TV shows seem to like because it’s good for continuous drama.
But in reality, it’s not like that, or at least it doesn’t have to be. Of course when you’re in recovery, there will be relapses. Change is often subtle, inconsistent, sometimes moves you forward in a leap, then backwards again, then in a spiral. It’s still change, though, even if you can’t see it when you’re in the middle of it.
I know that John Constantine historically has not been fine. We saw that on Legends, too, many times. If people want to keep seeing that kind story, that’s okay, I get it. Sometimes a character’s misery is what makes you bond with them in the first place, and you don’t want that taken away. If the new show wants to tell that story, it can go ahead. But it’s not the only story there is.
On Legends we got glimpses of a different narrative for John, especially this season. Watching him make all those courageous steps toward healing - joining the team, succeeding in helping Astra, throwing away the cigarettes, and then daring to give his relationship with Zari a chance, even if it terrified him, that made me feel hopeful. Hopeful for him, but on another level also for a world in which stories of recovery can get told on mainstream TV even for characters with a long history of suffering. I was there with John, terrified of letting myself be vulnerable again (for a stupid TV show in my case), but making the step anyway. Trust is so hard.
Something I love about Legends is that, despite all its flaws, it makes space for the good things. It talks to us about friendship, acceptance, redemption, about the power of laughter and open communication, about free will and the courage to make connections.
There are so many dark TV shows. SO MANY. Can’t we have an exception?
It’s not that I want sunshine and daisies all day. I’m all for showing it as difficult as it is. Give me the bad decisions, the relapses, the steps backward. John taking that magic drug made so much sense for him in that particular situation; he’s told Spooner why. But do we have to see him fail for good here?
He’s learned so much during his time with the Legends already. After stumbling, falling down, I want to see him get up. I want to see him choose to fight for himself and his connection to others, not because it’s easy. But because a tiny, fragile new part of him says: You’re not nothing (without magic), John.
And then his group of stubborn, headstrong, loyal friends come to support that part, and that makes the difference. He remembers that surrender to the old voices is not the only way anymore, even if it used to be. He gets up, and Zari bops him in the chest with her fist, then hugs him fiercely, Astra shakes her head but keeps looking him in the eye, and it’s almost like there might be a way through all this pain after all (even if it’s going to be a drag) . So he sighs and gets going.
I’m only dreaming, am I not?
