being moderately proficient with computers in the early 2010s was casting a hex on your family to call you sheldon
i got a big bang theory box set and a bazinga t shirt for christmas when i was 16
my dad wanted to get me a psych eval so i could say "im not crazy. my father had me tested." like sheldon did and after the psych eval they diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia
this could be the funniest thing that has happened to anyone ever. my condolences king
blackfyr reblogged
what doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy
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this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem
1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"
2. hitting the baby will still win you the game
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"How much XP does he get for killing the mood?"
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it's wild how bold people are with their wet, open mouthed coughs like I own nail polish that's older than the pandemic it wasn't that long ago
The Terror (2018) Season 1 Episode 8
blackfyr reblogged
the front seat of the car is a type of confessional
i genuinely think that physically it’s easier to have hard conversations when you’re both facing forward, not having to look at each other. the catholic church knew this also
also, its sister tweet:
How could you forget:
Trail cam catching a deer fawn with the zoomies
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Look, if you don't want to save or recruit her that's fine with me.
All that means is she'll be saying "do not leave me, my love" to my character and not yours.
Honestly it's one of the hottest things she says.
blackfyr reblogged
hey there’s something really wrong w you can i lick your blood
rip mythbusters you would've loved destroying cybertrucks
Turn based sex. Take as long as you need to think of a strategy.
HINT: his pussy is weak to fire magic.
Pepper spray his pussy
