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#national coming out day – @blackbird-brewster on Tumblr
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Captain of the good ship, Je T'Emily

@blackbird-brewster / blackbird-brewster.tumblr.com

Kit, Queer AF. They/Them. Pākehā/white. 36 and thriving. Autistic, disabled, polyam, Taurus. This is mostly a Criminal Minds blog. Ruler of Je T'Emily Garbajistan, Architect of Angst, Creator of @Queerminal-Minds. [AO3: w00t4ewan]
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I'm not in the US but I see it was National Coming Out Day, so here's a quick reminder that even though I have known since I was six that I loved kissing girls, it took another nine years before I ever heard the word lesbian. It took another twelve years to before I ever heard the word nonbinary.

Now, as I near my 32 birthday I mostly just identify as queer.

Coming out can be a constant journey. Sexuality and gender are fluid it makes sense that your understanding of them may change and grow as you change and grow and as our language changes and grows to include more people.

Coming out is a hugely personal choice and that includes ALL forms of coming out, whether it be to your family or simply correcting your barista about your pronouns. It's a life long journey.

You'll know when you're ready. And if you never want to come out, that's fine too.

Whoever you are, wherever you are on your journey - you are so valid. You are seen. You are loved. You have a community here. You are gay enough. You are bi enough. You are queer enough. You are trans enough.

You are enough.

I love you.

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jdnerd

National Coming Out Day is coming up (October 11) and I just want to remind everyone:

1) Please do not out anyone (even if you “think you are doing them a favor.” Trust me when I say you aren’t) and make sure you don’t accidentally do so.

2) It is okay to be in the closet. Please do not feel pressure to/obligated to come out because there so happens to be a Coming Out Day. (Do it for you if it’s what you want).

3) If you are a non-lgbt, please don’t come out as a joke. seriously, don’t. 

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I came out for the first time quite recently. I know I'm not very discrete with my sexuality and gender expression, but I was crazy nervous anyway 🙄 I sat down with my two best friends, and had somehow slipped that I wanted to tell them something, which made it even weirder. So I told them that I basically don't know anything except that I kinda like people regardless of gender and that I don't identify as a woman nor man. And they were just like "finally! We already knew all that.❤️🙄"

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This is so lovely! I’m so happy for you!! What great friends! :)

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Anonymous asked:

i literally came out to my parents yesterday & they said they already knew mainly bc of how i talk (???) and when i was 13, my obsession with jenna coleman. meanwhile i was crying sm

Congrats!!! Super proud of you, Anon!! Jenna is a great woman to crush on!! 😍

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One of my coming-out stories: I didn't come out to my extended family until I got engaged to my now-wife. I wrote an email telling them that I wanted to share happy news, told a brief story of our courtship, and let them know they'd get followup information about wedding dates asap. Email was nice because my family is all over the continent, and some of the people I see in person least were the most supportive. I got so many nice emails right away!

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That’s so friggin cute!! Happy news is always good news. Especially when it’s Gay Happy News!! Glad everyone was supportive!

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Anonymous asked:

I came out to my roommate 1st. I waited until she was going to bed and laid down with her. I talked nonsense for way too long and when she was finally like "gtfo I'm trying to sleep" I told her that I thought I might like girls. I wasn't sure about anything yet and so confused. I knew I was something not completely straight. I grew up super religious so there was so much shame attached to all sexual attraction. She was so supportive and loving. Now I'm out as bi to my friends, and so happy ❤️

That’s fantastic!! There’s no wrong way to come out. I’m glad you have support! Keep on being your bountiful, bodacious, Bisexual self!! Have a wonderful day!

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Anonymous asked:

The first time I came out I thought I was a lesbian, but my now ex-friend told everyone after I came out and told her not to tell anyone. Thankfully, I came out to my parents later as bisexual and they accept me!!!!

Woooo!! I’m glad your true friends kept your identity safe. That’s not kind for someone to out you. But I’m glad it turned out okay!! You beautiful, blossoming, Bisexual bird!! I’m so proud of you!

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Anonymous asked:

So I finally admitted to myself that I am gay af and I am so much happier now. I am dating women now and damn there are so many pretty women. I really hope I find someone who wants to be in a relationship soon, but we'll see. I never thougth I'd be this happy despite being gay (bc society still assumes everyone is straight and stuff), but this is so exciting and I am so freaking happy. I never realised I repressed such a big part of myself and how i affected my whole life.

Heya Anon,As with my last reply, I haven’t had reliable internet so it’s taken a while to reply to this. I think it’s actually pretty fitting to reply to this message after just replying to someone who recently came out. I am so happy to hear about your happiness. I remember when I first came out I felt so much relief. I vowed to myself that I would never hide who I am to make others happy or more comfortable. I kissed a girl when I was 6 years old and knew I never wanted to kiss boys. Yet, I didn’t come out until I was 15. You have so many exciting times ahead of you, Anon. Maybe you’ve experienced some already. You’ll have so many “firsts”. First time you kiss a woman, first time you sleep with a woman. First time you tell her you love her. First time you’re laying in bed in your new home together and you think “This is bliss”. There will also be heartache. Unfortunately, it’s unavoidable in relationships. But I know you will bounce back. You will learn from each experience and you will only grow more confident until you find the partner(s) of your dreams. (If that’s what your goal is)The fact is, no matter what your life has in store for you, it will be 100% more enjoyable now that you’re happy with yourself and your identity. I’m so proud of you. Remember, your identity is fluid and is always changing and evolving as you grow and experience life. Always be true to who you are and never compromise the best parts of yourself to make others happy.

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Anonymous asked:

Hi!! I came out to my friends gradually earlier this year despite having knowing I was gay since early 2015. But just last week I came out to my mom because I wanted to join the Queer-Straight Alliance at school and I knew she’d ask why. She took it fine but being in QSA has been such an amazing experience so far :D

WOOOO!!! Congrats my friend!! You’re so brave!! And I’m so incredibly proud of you. Happy travels on your journey! GSA can be such a great experience.

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Coming out story: came out to my mom via twitter. I then texted my best friend and told her. She immediately called me and was excited that I trusted her and asked if she could tell her husband. I came out to my dad a year later over thanksgiving. He was confused but chill about it. I’ve insinuated a lot on fb that I’m gay but officially posted a meme that potentially said I was gay on fb. Saying lesbian is still hard for me but I’m getting there.

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Every time you come out it takes incredible courage. I’m so proud of you! And if you don’t feel comfortable with identifying as a lesbian, you don’t have to. You can be anything that makes you feel safe and genuine. Thanks for sharing!

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Anonymous asked:

My coming out story? I came out to my best friend as trans when I was 13 over a text (I'm 14 now) and he was super supportive and excepting. Two weeks later he came out to me as trans as well (we're both ftm) and now we make a great trans pair in all of our trans glory!

Dude! This is the best story I have ever read?!?! The terrifically Trans Duo! Smashing gender roles and being fab as hell!! Thanks for sharing, have a great day!!

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Anonymous asked:

do you have a "how each team member found out emily was gay" headcannon? (i've read a few fics like this but they all involve her being super secretive about it and not coming out on purpose or deliberately trying to hide it and i was wondering if you thought she may "act" differently than that?)

Derek found out during 02x18 Jones

While JJ was fawning over detective LaMontagne, Derek and Emily were on the jet together going to interview a victim’s next of kin. During the flight Derek jokingly brought up the fact that JJ had been making heart eyes at Will ever since they landed in New Orleans. 

Emily rolled her eyes and shrugged, “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Hadn’t noticed JJ or hadn’t noticed the dashingly handsome, Will LaMontagne and his charming accent?” Derek asked

“Neither, I guess,” part of that was a lie. Emily had noticed JJ’s interest only because Emily was interested in JJ herself. 

“Okay, princess, whatever you say,” Derek laughed. “I mean even I noticed Will and he’s not even my type.”

That statement peaked Emily’s interest. She hadn’t been on the team very long but she thought she was a better profiler than to miss something as big as Derek being gay.

“And other men are your type?” Emily asked hesitantly, fearing she was stepping over the line.

Derek chuckled, “Sometimes.”

Emily smiled, “I wouldn’t have guessed”

“Well, neither has anyone else. So let’s keep this between us,” Derek replied.

“Your secret is safe with me,” Emily smiled. “Besides, I’m a raging lesbian. So you can have all the men you want.”

“I knew it!” Derek grinned. “Reid owes me $20!”

“You bet that I was a lesbian?!” Emily said as she punched him in the arm. “What gave me away?”

“Em, it doesn’t take a profiler to know you’re gay. You sort of have an essence about you. Besides, my gaydar is well honed.”

Emily smiled and nodded, “Well, I guess Reid owes you $20 then.”

JJ and Pen find out during 02x21 Open Season

“Why did you invite her?” JJ asked as she watched Emily from across the bar.

“Okay gumdrop, I don’t know what you’re deal is with Emily but she’s really nice. And I get the feeling she doesn’t get out much. So TRY and behave!” Garcia replied, shooting a stern look over her glasses.

“Oh great, she’s bringing a guy over here. We’ve been here for ten minutes!” JJ pointed out as Emily made her way to the table holding a round of beers and followed closely by a tall handsome man.

“Ladies, this is Brad. Brad is a real life FBI agent!” Emily announced with a grin.

What followed could only be described as Brad’s most embarrassing moment. The three women proved quickly that he was not quite what he claimed to be. After flashing their badges and shooting poor Brad down he quickly retreated back to the bar with his tail between his legs.

“I’m so blogging about this later,” Pen grinned in triumph.

“I don’t know, he seemed nice enough,” JJ replied through laughter.

“Well Brad isn’t quite my type,” Emily smiled.

“Oh! What is your type?” Pen asked curiously.

“Ummm, well, I’m gay. So…” Emily blushed as she took a swig of beer.

Garcia and JJ froze and looked at Emily questioningly.

“You’re, I’m sorry, what?” JJ asked.

“Gay,” Emily repeated. She reached across the table and physically shut Garcia’s mouth which had been gaping open.

“I never knew!” Garcia squealed as she threw her arms around Emily’s neck and brought her in for a hug.

“You never asked,” Emily smiled.

Gay? JJ thought to herself as she silently sipped her beer. Before they could continue their conversation JJ’s phone rang. She answered and let the girls know their night was being cut short due to a new case. However, JJ was highly interested in continuing this conversation at a later time.

Spencer found out during 03x04 Children of the Dark

“Do you ever thing about it?” Spencer asked.

“About what?” Emily replied as they poured over evidence.

“Having kids,” he said as he leaned back in his chair.

“I don’t know,” Emily stated with a shrug. “I guess I have never thought about it. With what we do, it would be complicated at best.”

“I want kids some day,” Spencer confessed. “I want three of them. Little geniuses running around the house.” He stared off in the distance dreamily, “Yeah, that would be nice. But of course, I’d have to meet a nice woman first.”

Emily laughed, “You and me both.”

Spencer looked at her perplexed, “What do you mean?”

“I just meant,” Emily decided she didn’t care anymore. She was now out to half the team, it was only a matter of time until the rest figured her out. “Well, I meant, I want to meet a nice woman too.”

“Oh, okay,” Spencer replied. “Well we could go out looking together then.”

And that was that. He never asked questions or interrogated her about it. Reid just accepted it like she had told him what she had for breakfast and moved on. Emily was grateful for that.

Hotch found out during 03x09 Penelope

Hotch rounded the corned to find Emily and JJ hand in hand on a bench in the waiting room. He smiled thoughtfully. He hadn’t thought about it until then, but he decided they would make a nice couple. Now was not the time, he thought.

Emily was on her feet, “Any news”

“Not yet,” he stated. “But she’s still in surgery.”

JJ put her head in her hands and started crying, “I just can’t believe this is happening.”

Emily sat down next to her and wrapped a protective arm around the smaller woman, “It’s going to be okay. She is going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” JJ cried.

“I know that Penelope Garcia is a fighter and if anyone could survive this its her,” Emily said as she rubbed JJ’s back. She planted a chaste kiss on the top of JJ’s head.

Later when the surgeon came to tell the team Garcia was in recovery the team breathed a collective sigh of relief. Emily hugged JJ and reminded her, “I told you she would make it”

Hotch watched the encounter and smiled. When they were on their way up to Garcia’s room he pulled Emily aside in the hallway as the rest of the team went on ahead.

“Hotch, what’s up?” Emily asked.

“You should ask her out,” Hotch stated.

Emily froze for a moment, “Who?”

“JJ. Ask her out, I think she’d be good for you,” he smiled.

Emily’s mouth opened but no words came out. She just stood there with a terrified look on her face. How did he know? Or rather, of course he knew. He was a profiler after all. 

“I just don’t think she’d be into me,” she finally managed to get out.

Hotch smiled the way the way he smiled at Jack when the boy thought he was getting away with something. “I think she could surprise you.”

They entered the room and Emily thought about what Hotch had said. Maybe he was right, maybe she had been over thinking things. She decided she would never know until she asked. 

Rossi found out during 03x17 In Heat

The secret was out, JJ had been dating Will in secret for over a year. Emily had suspected it but didn’t want it to be true. Now, there was no denying it. At Emily’s urging, JJ had gone after him and made it very clear they were happy together. 

Emily had only pushed her towards Will because Emily still hadn’t worked up the courage to ask JJ out herself and she saw the way they looked at each other. It was undeniable there was chemistry. She just didn’t know how much until that moment in the station. 

“It’s about time,” Derek said as he and Reid came around the corner.

Emily forced a smile, “Yeah, what’s it been? A year?”

They got on the jet and headed back to DC. Everyone was asleep except Emily. There were too many things going through her head to try and sleep. Rossi came over and sat next to her.

“How long has it been?” he asked out of context.

“Since I slept?” Emily questioned.

“No, since you’ve been in love with JJ,” he replied as if that fact had been common knowledge.

Emily sat there in silence for a moment before she replied, “I guess nearly a year.”

“And she has no idea?” Rossi asked.

“Not that I know of but it doesn’t matter. She made it clear tonight that she’s with Will now,” Emily stated flatly as she choked back tears.

Rossi patted her on the leg, “That won’t last. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. There’s something there. Will is fun because he’s long distance so she doesn’t have to deal with him often. But you? You, Emily, are a catch. She’d be lucky to have you. Any woman would.”

Emily forced a small smile, “I’m glad you think so.”

“I know so,” Rossi smiled. “Now get some sleep, kiddo.”

Emily closed her eyes and tried to sleep. Could JJ really feel the same about her? She wasn’t sure if Rossi was right but she wanted it to be true. She wanted to hold on to some hope that JJ could, someday, feel the same. 

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Hey, I love that you're so proud of who you are!

I'm 30 and literally only out to one person, but she's the one person that I wanted to know before anyone else. I know that my coming out story is far from over as I still have others to tell, but for now, it goes like this:

My best friend and I were colouring in (stress relief) and sharing a few drinks when she stopped, and asked if she could ask me a question. I said of course, and she just came right out and asked if I was straight. I love that she didn't just assume I was gay (which I am). I love that she had the balls to ask me the one thing I hadn't told her in all our years of friendship and I love that she held my hands and told me that it didn't change a thing, she still loved me and then she made a joke about how could I not fancy her?! If everyone else in my life is half as awesome as she is, I'll be fine when I eventually get round to telling them...

Anon!! This is so beautiful! I'm so glad your friend was so supportive. I wish you nothing but more kindness and support along the way!! Have a great day!

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