was anyone gonna post cuntchuck or do I have to do everything myself

this isn’t showing up in the tags so either I’m not allowed to say cuntchuck (cruel and unfair) or this image of chilchuck specifically is just too whorish

Happy Birthday, m’boy!

@lullabyknell

for the love of god, give the editors a raise

Very serious titans business

100% certain han and lando once got married for a scam and forgot to have it annulled so they were technically married for several years and one day lando comes in and goes “real quick: are we solo-calrissian or calrissian-solo? also, i want a divorce” and han is like baby no where did i go wrong we can still fix this

#reblog #ostensibly it was for a scam but we all know the truth #they forget to get divorced until han is getting married again #do you think polyamorous marriage is legal in star wars #it has to be right #so han is accidentally married to like three people #and leia is kind of annoyed by this so he goes to lando #who doesn’t understand the problem because legally speaking he is married to a city-state#he solves a lot of problems by marrying them #he also creates a lot of problems but those are for future lando #not current lando who is currently explaining that he has built a complex tax scheme on his marriages #and his marriage to han is loadbearing #do you have any idea what this would do to his tax deductions han #it would destroy them #han hasn’t paid space taxes in years but it turns out he’s lando’s dependent and lando has actually been collecting a refund this whole time #han is offended and wants his refunds but lando is like no fuck you #if you did your own space taxes you’d be paying twice what i’m getting #i don’t remember anything about star wars

Has anyone noticed that July, August, September, October, and November’s initials spell the name Jason?

what do we do with this information

Then a D for December, it’s obvious? Just Jason Derulo having a shout out to himself in the actual calendar.

mmm whatcha say

WHY DOES TH E DEER HAVE A DEFENSIVE STANCE IM

That deer was solid af last year in the college ranks.

did you know that @dugglexx can bball with the best of them?

*whispers* Bob Zimmermann loves his son no matter what. I will fight you on this.

nursey plays his lack of falcs clothing off as just him being Chill™ but in reality he did have a falcs jersey he just accidentally set fire to it the night before

Uh. This is librarian!Bitty AU. They haven’t banged. This covers like three weeks. What am I doing with myself.

Teaser:

Bitty looks at the flyers with interest. They’re advertising a new children’s book out from one of the Bruins’ hockey players. It looks cute as hell, and Bitty immediately likes the title—Jacky’s Bad Days—and the art is adorable, featuring a chubby little blue-eyed boy in hockey gear alone on the ice, centered in a spotlight. He looks at the blurb.

Ages 5 to 9

What do you do when you’re too scared to do the things you love? Jacky knows what it’s like to be scared every day, because he has something called anxiety. It makes his tummy hurt, and sometimes it’s hard to breathe. But Jacky has a big hockey game coming up, and he doesn’t want to disappoint his family and friends. It’s time for Jacky to learn how to overcome his fear and play the best hockey that he can. 

Based on the true story of Jack Zimmermann’s struggle with anxiety, depression, and being the best, Jacky’s Bad Days explores the #1 mental health issue facing today’s kids in a way that is both fun, honest, and discusses the topic of anxiety in an educational way. Zimmermann, five-time NHL All-Star and two-time Stanley Cup Winner, has funded the printing, sale, and marketing of his book and will donate all proceeds to his charity Make It Better.

Bitty knows of Jack Zimmermann, the writer of the book. Everyone in Boston knows who Jack Zimmermann is. But until he read this blurb, he had no idea that Zimmermann had such a background. Bitty only knows he’s tall and well-built, and every now and then he can be spotted running around Boston in very small shorts.

Not that Bitty keeps an eye out for him or anything (most every morning at 7:15 AM right in front of his apartment building, and if Bitty’s window happens to face the street, so be it). 

i am in desperate need of Batlantern fics where Bruce and Hal are already married and Hal has fully embodied the Rich Housewife of Gotham™ aesthetic 

And Bruce still refuses to change his ringtone for Hal from Gold Digger

Hal be like 

I demand fic of Bruce Wayne sitting uncomfortably at Martha Kent’s dining room table as she pours him a glass of lemonade and asks him about himself.

“Oh, uh. Well. I’m uh. Batman,” he says. 

And Martha’s like, “Yes, dear, you’ve told me, I meant do you have any hobbies or interests?”

And Bruce is just sweating and trying not to mention his dead mother. 

#martha: maybe u collect things?#bruce: orphans#martha: ??????#bruce: adopt. i mean ive adopted 6 children (via @assajj)