Orzammar's Okayest Crafts

has anyone tried giving Brosca a meat tenderizer, diplomatic immunity and about 37 hours locked in the assembly alone with the deshyrs maybe that could fix orzammar, has anyone tried that

OH SHIT I'm sorry for that 😭😭 fixed the tags & I'll keep it in mind

Rook knowing that physical contact with Harding might be harmful to them, going for a kiss anyway, getting knocked the fuck out by her powers in about zero seconds, almost cracking their skull on the pavement and the first thing they do. The FIRST thing they do, before they even think of getting up, is to keep trying to reach for her while babbling like a lovestruck FOOL...

Not to downplay the dangers of Red Lyrium but man, Bartrand leaving Varric to die in the Deep Roads was the funniest way they could have dropped the first hint that something sinister was going on. Oh my god what manner of dark and twisted magic would make anyone do something like this to Varric :((( Bioware babygirl half of the Merchants' Guild daydreams about him getting his balls ripped off by a genlock DAILY get a grip?????

Loving to play Cadash as an incredibly pragmatic and ruthless individual because the idea of someone being saved ("saved") from the kind of life that taught them they need to be as cruel as they can to survive & placed in a more "righteous" role where they can only truly thrive by the same cutthroat ways everyone swore to them they could now leave behind is very compelling to me. Hating to play Cadash as an incredibly pragmatic and ruthless individual because Blackwall is Mad at me :(

^Things you hear Oghren say to an increasingly distressed Nathaniel while you walk around Vigil's Keep

Fuck my stupid baka life I should be gazing into a deepstalker's eyes so that the Noble creature would see that my intentions are pure, my heart unburdened by sin. A worthy addition to welcome into the pack.

some of you all are so hateful to bisexuals "anders is straight he and karl were just friends" "don't romance leliana with a man that's disgusting" "what do you mean you want to fuck dworkin glavonak" "it's not realistic for josephine to be into women like that" like damn let us live

I'm going to sound deranged, especially because right now I can't take screenshots of what I'm talking about. But the way Origins' intro, before cutting to Duncan, shows a dwarf warden bringing his hammer down to kill a darkspawn in a very similar way OUR dwarf warden deals the final blow to the Archdemon... yeah. Yeah.

do we think a dwarf warden ever feels some sort of strange bitterness once they end the blight before it even starts. The creatures left on the surface will flee back to the Deep Roads, way closer to home and yeah, they're at their weakest right now but that never lasts long. The respite for Orzammar has lasted a little over a year in front of who knows how many more centuries of more darkspawn attacks, provided their people even have that kind of time. Does a title like Hero of Ferelden sounds like mockery to them

call her Hightown the way she makes me Ha[sound of a door slamming open] [screaming; sound of glass breaking] [gunshot] [more screaming; gunshot] [deafening silence]

God the ending of A Paragon of Her Kind when you pick dwarf commoner. Born and raised in Dust Town, probably never set foot in the Diamond Quarter before let alone the Assembly. And you waltz in with a crown forged by a Paragon, for the king YOU decide to pick. Can you IMAGINE how humiliated half of the noble's caste must have felt. Brosca if you're reading this i'm free this friday

Alistair: my most important wish.... Is meeting my sister<3

Aeducan: Why.

Beautiful. Bioware needs to cancel Veilguard immediately to focus on this now

Loghain when he tells the warden they can choose their champion to fight him and they immediately turn to speak to the dwarf with the huge war-hammer and a weird glint in his eyes

Absolution-style series all about the weirdos of Orzammar's noble caste trying new and fucked up ways to kill each other. Please.