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@befuddled-calico-whump

calico • 26 • she/her • whump prompts, comics, and art
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Augusnippets Day 27: Migraine

cw: migraine, self depreciation, emeto, gory descriptions

for the @augusnippets challenge // word count: 787

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Shades of violet and blinding green swirled around him like storm clouds, spewing lightning and egging on the pain in his head. Hunter hugged his pillow tighter, willing the color to go away. Didn't do shit. The more he thought about wanting it gone, the stronger it got, like it was trying to spite him.

A new wave hit—white fire behind his eyes, his own brain screaming—and he bit down on the cushion until his jaw started to burn.

It hadn't been this bad since… since… the beginning. Since the test that activated his implant in the first place, since he'd crawled out of the burning lab, blinded by agony, the smell of smoke the only thing that kept him moving forward.

Had he overused it finding Manak? Every time he leaned into the patterns, used them, the headaches seemed to get worse.

If he did break his brain finding that arrogant asshole, he wouldn't fucking regret it. He'd made his choice, and Manak wouldn't be here right now if he hadn't.

He needed me. All the brains in the world, and in the end, he needed me, Hunter told himself through the next bout of searing pain, screaming into the pillow as it reached a new sharpness.

He wished he would just pass out. He wished—

“Harbor.”

Speak of the fuckin devil.

It was hard to keep from whimpering at the sudden sound, words somehow both blurred by the colors and sharpened by them, driving into his temple like a spike.

“What?” he managed to spit out, trying to blink past the cloying rainbow to get a look at Manak’s color. He was expecting the usual. Irritation, red and swirling. Can you shut up? Some of us want to sleep.

Instead, he was a neutral forest green, darkness clouding his throat and shoulders, misty red pain hovering around his knee.

The mist had been a lot thicker when he'd found him; flecks of red mingling with real blood, his green darkened to almost black. Brightening at the center when Hunter made himself known, when he carried him away. Manak never brightened around him before, never.

You did save his life. Even Manak would appreciate that, dumbass.

“Are you alright? I thought I heard…” He frowned, steps clicking as he moved closer to Hunter's bed. Crutches. He hadn't even noticed them until now. Manak shouldn’t be up. He should be sleeping, getting better, but somehow Hunter'd managed to fuck up what should've been the easy part.

“Fine,” Hunter choked out. “Just. Implant bullshit.” Power came at a cost. Anyone who picked up a comicbook knew that. So whatever, it was fine. He'd ride it out. He just wished it didn't feel like his head was going to explode.

“Do you want some pain medication?”

“Doesn't work.” The orange ones just made him nauseous, and everything else didn't reach his head. The only way he'd ever shut it up was through booze, and he doubted there was any of that on this tiny compound.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

Help. Why would Manak want to help? Did he feel like he owed him? That had to be it. There was no other reason he'd still be in the room, no other reason he'd bother to check on Hunter in the first place.

“You can go away,” he said, and the words came out choked. A fresh pain was building, brighter than the sun, aching, stinging, burning, growing. Like a new star was trying to form in his fucking skull. Agony too loud to hear his own voice, Hunter only realized he was screaming when his lungs started to burn from the lack of air, throat aching from overuse.

He couldn't get away, no escape, the pain was him, he'd have to cut open his skull and let his brains spill out, had to relieve pressure, had to—

Everything went away.

Not for long enough. The pain came back as a dull ache, pounding like a drum in his head. It was hard to breathe at first, hard to see. His mouth tasted like battery acid, bile on his tongue, and for a moment he couldn't feel anything but the implant. Cold metal and brain tissue.

“Are you with me?”

He was sitting up. Hunched forwards a little, arms wrapped around him.

“Breathe.”

Hunter more choked than inhaled. His body felt shaky and bloodless, head floating in a sea of hurt.

Manak was holding him, a cool hand rubbing his back, Hunter’s puke down the front of his perfect sweater.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, the word barely more than a gurgle.

“Just breathe.”

He tried.

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Augusnippets Day 23: Massage

cw: chronic/phantom pain

for the @augusnippets challenge // word count: 516

=~=~=

He was quiet this morning. Not the usual Lex quiet either; brooding or just comfortable in silence. It was something focused, intense despite the lack of sound, and Sarah was pretty sure she knew what that meant.

“Hey. You okay?”

A nod, a little too jerky. She could hear his heart racing beneath layers of clenched muscle, see the sweat start to bead at his forehead, the faraway look in his eyes.

“Tylenol?” she asked.

“Took some already.”

After the first bout of phantom pains she'd seen, She’d made sure his bathroom was well-stocked. What else could help? A heat compress? Or would that feel like a whole lot of nothing, given his powers? She bit her lip. Taking off the cybernetics would probably do something, but she knew they were a source of security for him. The only time she'd seen him without them was after the river, and he'd woken up in a panic. Still, when she looked closer, the skin around the metal looked irritated.

“Do you think taking off your arms would help?”

Unsurprisingly, he shook his head. “No.”

“Not even for a little while?”

“Can't.”

“You know you're safe here—”

“Can't,” he repeated, then added, voice nearly a whisper, “Not… not like this.”

Okay. She could work with that. Maybe once he was in a better headspace they could get a look at the skin under the metal… Fuck, they should probably find some… silicon sleeves or whatever. Those were a thing, right? She didn't know how she'd find someone who specialized in that and wouldn't turn him over to Fox, but she'd sure as fuck try. In the meantime…

“Is it okay if I touch you?” She didn't expect a yes, but after a moment, Lex nodded.

“I'm gonna be behind you, okay? You can tell me to stop at any time.” Another nod, and Sarah moved into place. Her hands were slow to lay on his shoulders, hearing intensifying to listen to his heart.

Slowly, gently, Sarah began to massage his left shoulder, kneading her fingers as close to the metal of his cybernetics as she could.

A soft exhale slipped out of Lex, so loud compared to his heartbeat that it almost made her jump.

“You okay?”

“Y-yeah. That's…”

“Want me to keep going?”

“Yeah.”

She moved to the other side. Her hands were already getting a little tired, but she tuned them out.

“If you're comfortable with it, I can do this without the prosthetics on sometime. Might be more effective.”

He nodded against her. “Now?”

“Now?” she repeated.

“Just… one at a time.”

“Yeah.” She stepped back, giving him space to access the mechanism that would release his left arm, extending her own hand to help catch it and lower it to the couch. The scars underneath were thick and uneven, the skin around them reddened. She'd have to be gentle.

He shifted as her fingers grazed the residual limb, eyes drifting closed as she began to knead the tense area. 

Little by little, he relaxed against her.

Little by little, his heartbeat slowed down.

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cw: vaguely implied past noncon/abuse, past trauma

×~×~×

Tea was better than nothing. Jericho had been a little doubtful that Vic would have the ingredients for hot chocolate, so it wasn't too shocking to be proven right, but he was at least glad for the bags of plain green tea in the cupboard. Something warm for the kid to hold on to while they worked to process all of this.

"What's your name?" he asked as he passed him the mug. Technically, he already knew, but he didn't want to startle him with that information.

"Ander."

So he wasn't going by just Sahota yet. It made sense. He didn't seem nearly as cold or closed off.

"I'm Jericho," he said, and the kid nodded, staring at the mug in his hands like he was watching the color seep into the water. Jericho exhaled as calm as he could.

Where to start? Should he ask him about the injuries? Drop the bomb on him that he was temporally displaced? Or should he just hold off on that as long as he could? Man, and what about everybody else? All these cats were bound to come racing out of the bag at some point, and he didn't feel in any way ready for it.

Lucky for him, Ander spoke before he felt the need to fill the silence with something unnecessary.

"You work with Shepard?" He seemed almost relaxed at a glance, poised in the chair, cradling the mug. But as Jer looked at him, he could see the tension under the surface. Like he might throw the tea in his face and bolt for the door at any second.

"Yeah, kinda," he said. "Temporarily. Like I said, computers."

"Yeah."

"I take it you work with him too?"

Ander's eyes dropped. "Train," he said simply.

"Ah." Again, he didn't like the way he said it. He wanted to ask more questions, to slowly circle in on some kind of truth and get to the bottom of the mystery that was Sahota.

But before he could, the door to the kitchen swung open.

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Anonymous asked:

Im having a pretty bad pain day today, can I request some Cingerglass caretaking? Maybe Lex has a bad pain day too, with phantom pains and Sarah being there for him. Idk just he doesn’t have to go through that alone anymore

cw: phantom pain, referenced captivity

He woke to shooting pain in his hands.

It felt like his fingers were overextended and cramping, the muscles in his palms spasming, and Lex wondered dully how he'd managed to hold them open like that as he'd slept. He curled his hands into fists, but was only met with the sound of metal on metal as his cybernetics obeyed the signal. His cybernetics, that he couldn't feel.

He sat up, moving his arms into his lap, the stretching, straining, imaginary pain still there, getting worse, crawling up the forearms he didn't fucking have anymore. He breathed through clenched teeth, trying not to let panic rise in his chest.

(Nest, best, crest)

This had happened before. He knew it was... normal, kind of, but he didn't know how to stop it. In the Tower, he'd just curled up on his cot until it got to be too much and he was biting back screams. With Uriah, all of his energy went into trying to conceal it, trying not to let it become another moment Fox could exploit. Here... fuck. He was free, but it was early morning, and he didn't want to wake anyone up.

He forced himself out of bed, trying to shake off the feeling by shaking his cybernetic arms, but it did nothing. He stared at his hands, willed the ghostly ones to relax and close with the metal ones, but the fingers stubbornly refused, stretching and stretching until it felt like the joints would sever from each other.

(Brother, another)

He needed to go out. Go for a walk or something, try to distract himself, ride it out. He winced as he grabbed the handle of the door to his room and threw it open, tried to keep his breathing even as he moved down the stairs, stumbled towards the door--

"Lex?"

Sarah was already awake. His metal fingers curled into tight fists, but the sound of it only seemed to drive the phantom hands to be spiteful, a flash of pain running up his arms with such intensity that Lex had to choke back a gasp.

"I--I'm going out," he said, forming the words carefully, trying not to let any pain leech into his voice, but the words were coming out too sharp. Clipped. "Be back later." (Hater, crater)

"Are you okay?"

"Fine." Even as he said it, his body sought to prove him a liar, non-existent forearms clenching with enough force that it felt like the muscle fibres were splitting. Lex winced audibly, metal hands coming up to wrap around him before he could stop himself.

Through blurring vision, he could see Sarah getting up, coming to stand a few feet away from him.

"Uh... we might have different definitions of what 'fine' is," she said in a careful voice.

(Brine, sign)

"It-- I can't do anything about it," Lex said. Fuck, he didn't want to explain this right now, didn't want to fuck up her morning, he just wanted to leave so he could scream in peace. "Phantom pain," he said shortly, and hoped that was enough.

Her eyes widened. "Oh shit, hold on, I can grab you some Tylenol."

Lex's brows pulled down further. He kept forgetting that was something that was available, after he'd gone so long without it as an option. "Yeah," he gasped out. "Please."

"Okay, here. Sit down." She held out her hands, and he moved to meet them, allowing her to guide him to the couch.

"I'll be right back."

He hunched forwards, trying to breathe through the next bout of spasms. The moment seemed to drag out forever, but eventually Sarah came back with water and pills, and he took both eagerly.

"I'm not sure how much it'll help---"

"S'okay. It's enough," he said. Miles better than what he'd had access to in the past. His forearms twisted tighter, and he turned away from her, clenching his jaw until the muscle there began to burn. Despite his best efforts, a whimper managed to slip out.

He felt the couch shift as Sarah sat beside him. "Do you want me here?" she said softly. "I can go upstairs if you'd rather be alone."

Did he? He was used to being alone, especially for this, but... he didn't want her to go. Even if it didn't do much for the pain, something in him was drawn to her like a magnet, and he just... felt better when she was nearby.

"Stay," he said, and she smiled in return.

"Okay. I can put on some cartoons? It might help distract you from it."

He nodded, eyes squeezing shut against another wave of pain. Better than nothing, better than staring at the wall and waiting for it to end.

"You... Uh, you can sit closer if you want," Sarah said. "I mean, you don't have to, but if you think it'll help..."

He wasn't sure it would, but because it would be a distraction, because it was Sarah, he inched closer to her, breathing shakily as he lowered his head onto her shoulder, felt her arm rest light on his waist.

It didn't help the pain, not directly.

But it sure felt good to have something to hold on to.

וו×

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Twelve Days of Whumpmas, day twelve (!!!)

Found Family

On rare occasions, Wizard takes business trips alone. He leaves guards behind to keep an eye on things, but they rarely bother the trio. On one such day, Scarecrow puts his skills as a thief and an artist to use; breaking into Wizard's things to find an old painter's kit, and teaching Lion the basics.

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