Rating: M Ship: Yor x Twilight

Characters: Yor, Twilight, Anya, Shopkeeper Tags: Identity reveal, family feels, romance, emotional hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort, touch starved, trust issues, intimacy, slow burn, fluff and angst, some humour (eventually) Chapter: 6/18

Overall fic summary:

Start at Chapter One ->

Rating: M Ship: Yor x Twilight

Characters: Yor, Twilight, Anya, Shopkeeper Tags: Identity reveal, family feels, romance, emotional hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort, touch starved, trust issues, intimacy, slow burn, fluff and angst, some humour (eventually) Chapter: 5/18

Hello you! I'm always chuffed to see your name pop up 🫶😊!

Oh boy! Thank you for this ask — it's a big question but also I do have thoughts XD Sorry it's taken me a few days to get my ducks in a row!

I want to start, though, by emphasising that my thoughts and preferences here are exclusive to Spy x Family as a canon enterprise; they don't pertain to fanworks or other fan theories, I'm not out to yuck anyone's yum ✌️ ditto for even my own writing! You're right that I don't really have an interest in exploring that dynamic but I reserve the right to change my mind ;)!

[Reference herein to manga chapters not yet animated]

Right, so. There's lots of things I love about SxF, but one of the things that interested me early and keeps me engaged is that it operates under an interesting and complex morality. Spy work and contract killing are obviously an ethical minefield, and in the real world, generally to the bad. Within the world of SxF, Endo takes pains to write Twilight and Yor both firmly on the morally right side, even if Twilight’s tactics or Yor’s actions in a vacuum are frequently questionable. With Twilight especially it seems Twilight is currently (resisting) working through the impact and ethical implication of his actions on Anya. When it comes to Yor, I expect that’s where we’ll see him wrestle with similar questions through a romance lens. I think it was quite deliberate and important that Twilight specifically articulated that he’d been wondering if Yor had previous romantic relationships, and that it was now confirmed she hadn’t. As far as I can remember, it’s the only time he’s had that sort of reflection on Yor's life before the Forgers; I mention it because it mirrors times he’s reflected explicitly on Anya’s history and trauma and her needs as a child, with implication that his actions and motivations for adopting her could/probably will hurt her. I hazard that his observation about Yor will be similarly indicative of an arc down the line.

When it comes to canon, if the Yor x Twilight romance were to firm up while Yor still believes Twilight is Loid, I admit there’s a high chance I’d nope out. I want to emphasize firm up though… I tend to think Yor already has feelings for Loid (Twilight?) whether she’s fully aware of them or would necessarily articulate them as romantic (and I think this is being really interestingly conveyed and explored through her current feelings about kissing, though I may differ with some on how I think that may shake out). I also think there’s a… less high but not impossible chance that Twilight is aware he has or is developing feelings for Yor. I’ve argued before that he knows he has formed/is forming an attachment to her and that he knows he trusts her. I don’t think it’s too far from there to romantic feelings for Twilight: after all, attachment and trust (intimacy) are not things he's had in a long, long time. And given his current pseudo-short temper and general malaise comes out most with Anya, with Yor he’s been notably softer and more receptive. In my view, this is partially because so far he hasn't really done much that would really hurt Yor and nor has she done anything that would really hurt Twilight. So far, Twilight and Yor are on a fairly even footing.

This is a very long way of saying that I trend toward thinking we’ve got at least a few toes into the romance already.

The reasons I’d be a squicked by the firming up of the romance, pre-reveal, are related to its being morally questionable as you pointed out (I'll talk a bit more about that in a moment.) But it's also because I think it would undermine character arcs and dominant themes.

Twilight’s arc involves finding and forging a new pack, a new family. Somewhere safe and loving that he’s been denied essentially for his whole life (I don’t dispute that his mother loved him deeply and did her best to protect him: living with an abuser and then with her under war was never going to actually be or feel safe). A big part of this safety and love for Twilight is about being accepted, warts and all. Twilight started lying because he wasn’t accepted by his father as he was. There’s a fair bit to work through by way of accepting Twilight’s warts already — I think Yor will be fairly understanding as things currently stand, and that’s part of why they’re a good match. Their moral compasses, their sacrifices, how they see the world and how they want to try and make it better, align and/or resonate in foundational ways. However, given their current standing, pursuing deeper intimacy of a romantic/sexual relationship with Yor before reveals, I think would take it past the line. And particularly when considering Yor’s character arc.

Yor’s arc is also around finding love and security, but centred less around acceptance (although that obviously also explicitly features!) and more around self-worth and understanding her value. If the romance were to firm up pre-reveal, the false pretences are… I mean, to me, they lob a Molotov cocktail into that theme of self-worth and being valued, as she really would just be being used: the intimacy could never be real because Twilight is not Loid Forger. To expand a bit on an earlier point, perhaps ironically, Yor’s relationship with Loid is mostly on the up-and-up: they both know any marital connection they demonstrate is fake. They may be (are) friends, and also they’re under no illusions that it’s something of a tenuous friendship (at least for now). They co-parent Anya but are clear that this co-parenting comes with clear lines around and between their relationship otherwise. I want to tread mindfully here, because I also really like and appreciate aroace interpretations of Yor and Twilight and their relationship: I think this discussion around firming up their romance actually also holds true in the case of attempting to substantially deepen their platonic bond, pre-reveal. In the same ways, Twilight needing acceptance and Yor learning self-worth would be severely undermined by a pre-reveal apparent and false deepening of their commitment to one another.

On the point of it being morally questionable generally, yeah it is. I mean, look, it's fiction and they aren't real people who can be hurt by those actions. So in principle, Endo can write what story he wants, I wouldn't think it reflected poorly on him or anything like that. I just don't really want to read a story that goes to that place; it’s a squick. I'm sure this has been discussed before in fandom, but my read on the moral dubiety centres around the idea that it isn’t possible to actively choose or meaningfully consent to emotional or physical intimacy when one person is lying about who they are (and in this case, they're both lying about who they are... Although Twilight to a greater extent). This does tie back into SxF themes as well, as choice and consent are also… maybe not big themes of SxF exactly, but active choice and informed consent are things which have come up more than once (I have my thoughts as to why: for a character whose choices drive so much of the narrative, Twilight is actually also a character who’s shown to have little actual choice or control over much of his own life. Considering his motivations for a world where children don’t cry, imo valuing active choice and meaningful consent are important factors required for that world. And I also actually suspect the theme of choice will become more important the more we learn about Donovan, and his role as foil for Twilight.)

Also, honestly for me, it would be too close to a common trope in a lot of popular western fiction/media that I don’t like: a woman being taken advantage of by a man in some way, shape or form, and then through the magic of her non-specific womanness, forgiving him his gross transgressions under the thinnest of pretences. Particularly as Endo has already taken pains to sidestep that as a foundation of their arrangement. To be fair, I wouldn't be surprised that were Endo to take the pre-reveal romance path, it would be a deeper interpretation of that trope, but as with other sexist tropes utilised in pop fiction/media, I have to ask why the choice couldn’t have been for a more interesting path, rather than retreading that one. And particularly given everything he's established for Twilight and Yor: it goes against much of what Twilight stands for — and indeed goes against much of what he meaningfully brings in his current relationship with Yor, that of encouraging her, supporting her, and shoring up her thoughts, opinions and self-image, particularly when she voices upset or doubt about them. It also goes against much of what Yor stands for: while the power imbalance would lie firmly with Twilight, it remains true that Yor’s lies in an apparently deepening intimacy would also undermine the safety and security she ostensibly creates for Twilight. She also so obviously hates lying, the prospect of her keeping her secret into what she believed was a real relationship would wreck her. Doubly so, given the weight Yor puts on Loid's acknowledgement of who she is and what she believes: something she hangs her self-worth on, a recognition of her value. And I'd argue here that it would actually, conversely, be impossible for Loid Forger to acknowledge or accept Yor's truth: that's only something Twilight can do.

And so I guess there’s also just the bare fact following from the above that I think a pre-reveal firming up of their relationship is the less interesting choice for what is a major franchise that has otherwise done innovative things. Another reason I love SxF is that it subverts tropes and complicates cliches. One of which includes communication: for a pair who have crossed lines as a foundation of their relationship, Yor and Twilight actually do a lot of communicating. That’s a subversion of many heterosexual romantic tropes and norms, at least in a Western context, and, to put it sort of flippantly, it would bum me out if it failed at the final hurdle.

I just want to emphasise one more time, my opinions and preferences here are strictly related to Spy x Family in an official canon capacity, and nothing to do with fanworks or fan theories or what fans want to explore in whatever fashion. Part of my feelings here are also honestly because of the tone and pacing of SxF. I think it entirely possible to do interesting things with those tropes and actually think Endo is the type of writer I would trust to do so. But the way SxF is written by way of tone, pacing, narrative priorities and audience demand, I don't think even Endo would be able to do them within SxF in ways that wouldn't squick me out and make me lose love for Twilight, specifically, pretty entirely. I'd rather he just didn't 😂

Tl;dr: in canon exclusively I’m not into a firming up of their romantic relationship pre-reveal! Their situation is complicated enough as it is; give these goobers the love they want and can share with one another, kindly and gently, when the world has been neither kind nor gentle with them. In my view, it’s already primed in their character and thematic arcs 🫶

Twilight headcanon

Inspired by this super lovely art by @roucaelum-art 😍! (brief mood spoiler: roucaelum's art is so soft and so sweet! This hc has a touch of the bittersweet 🫶)

After Strix, when the Forgers are well established, no secrets between them, Twilight starts journaling. Obviously this is a security risk, so he creates an elaborate cipher. He tests it on Franky. He tests it on the cipher-breakers at WISE. He even feeds some to the SSS. None break it. Satisfied, he starts to journal. Twilight's journaling time is something he starts to jealously protect; given how much it means to him and helps him process things, Yor starts to protect it jealously, too.

Later in life, when he and Yor have been together for decades, he teaches the cipher to her in case she wants to read and/or share his journals after he dies. It takes time, of course, but not as much as someone might otherwise think, knowing Yor and looking in from the outside. This is in large part because Twilight creates the cipher with Yor in mind. Rarely one to do something for a single purpose when multiple are available, creating it with the intention that Yor can easily learn it also works to confound others in his profession. You see, he’d never met anyone who thinks the way Yor does, and certainly it's far outside espionage or intelligence norms, a way in which no one in those professions would expect a cipher to operate. This revelation he saves for his final journal, and Yor only learns it had been intended specifically for her after his death.

To that point, Twilight does (peacefully) predecease Yor, but she finds she can’t share his journals with the outside world, not yet. They're too precious, too close, touch her too deeply, to share outside the family.

She teaches Anya the cipher, so their daughter can read and share his journals after Yor passes away.

Anya does: she reads her Papa’s journals. Spends a few months, a couple of years, keeping them between herself and her parents' memories. Twilight’s accounts, unsurprisingly, have incredible detail about Yor and Yor’s life and Yor’s opinions and Yor’s views and Yor’s daily life and the way Yor moved through the world. There’s an incredible amount of detail about Anya too: Twilight hadn’t started journaling until years after Strix ended, nearly a decade after he adopted Anya. But, of course, his memory was impeccable, and once he started writing, he never stopped.

Anya reads about herself, about her mother, about their loved ones and their enemies. She reads his words about politics and the news and Twilight's opinions on literature, film, various cuisines. The bakery down the street and the neighbour with the lush roses. Spycraft, war, and international relations. Parenthood, partnership, friendship. Every other idiosyncratic thing he chose to write about. All of it written in her father’s matter-of-fact style from his matter-of-fact perspective, which was always more full of love than he would admit or accept.

She grieves anew, softly, and in her own time.

One day, when she's ready, Anya goes to her father’s favourite archive. She asks to speak with the archivist team. She asks if they would like the journals of the greatest spy in Westalis history: had they ever come across the name Twilight in their research?

She teaches them how to decipher his code (it is, of course, the most complex and creative cipher the lead archivist has ever seen. Anya thinks of her mother, and smiles). It takes them time to go through everything; it takes them time to verify it. But of course, they do. Because Twilight was thorough and he was precise and and he was an excellent planner, prescient more often than not. He ensured there were enough careful points of reference that diligent researchers would be able to confirm his identity and the veracity of what he wrote. And he would only trust the most diligent of researchers.

It's a small archive; the launch of the display of Twilight's journals is similarly small. Anya thinks he would prefer that. The idea of hoards of people reading his words all at once, even if he had intended their being made public, might be enough to revive his stomach aches from beyond the grave.

Anya attends the opening with her loved ones, and later, at home, she shares her own memories of her Papa, and her Mama, and the times they saved the world.

with you, all in tangles (final)

3 times Yor blows kisses to Twilight and one time Twilight blows a kiss to Yor

It wasn’t the first party they’d hosted, but it was the first one where they’d rented a special space for it. Sharing director duties at WISE during a lasting peace afforded Twilight more time to genuinely relax. But of course, he would never choose genuinely relax doing this. Which was why the party was also a WISE operation. And Yor was aware of his target as they moved through the room.

Yor, on the other hand, still in her same role at City Hall and still in her same role with Garden, had taken on the planning duties for fun. And almost everyone she liked or loved was in attendance. Yor was having a great time! It also just so happened those same people were mostly the same people Twilight liked or loved, and so despite himself, Twilight also did seem to be enjoying himself.

Up until now. Yor had felt his change of mood the moment it happened, and quickly scanned the room. Oh, damnit! She thought Gorey had sent his regrets!

Then again, that man was unpredictable — wanting to curry Dr Loid Forger’s favour one moment and rejecting it the next. Judging by the way he was carrying himself, the retired former Chief Medical Director was intent on an evening for currying favour. Which meant bending Twilight’s ear with the most asinine prattle (Twilight's words) for so long he would end up lying in bed, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand, rubbing his stomach with the other, grumbling to himself, until Yor came to bed, at which point he would move from lying against his pillow to resting his head in her lap as she read until he finally fell asleep.

But Yor — despite Gorey saying he would not be attending — had planned for this! She stole through the room, slipping easily between her guests, intercepting Gorey when he was feet away from Twilight. “Doctor Gorey! How lovely you were able to come in the end,” Yor said, stepping directly into his path. She clasped her hands in front of her, and gave him her biggest smile. “I was so sorry when we received your regrets, as I had actually actually planned to introduce you to someone this evening.”

“Mrs Forger,” Gorey greeted. He’d been trying — very rudely! — to look past her towards Twilight as she spoke, but at the mention of an introduction, he refocused. “I — well, yes my plans changed. And I thought I would see my good friend Loid —” She knew Twilight wasn’t openly listening but she also knew exactly what it felt like to have his focused attention: it had been steady from the moment she had started to move through the room. At Gorey’s casual familiarity, Twilight’s attention sharpened irritably, even as she could still hear him speaking pleasantly. Since he retired, he insists on calling me Loid, Twilight had said testily the last time this happened. At that point, Yor had put her book aside, and set her fingers to her husband’s temples, half listening as he went on and half formulating this exact plan.

“Ahh, Loid will very much want to see you,” Yor said apologetically. Lie, she sing-songed to herself. “But I really do need to introduce you. Oh, and the gentleman in question is just over here! He’s been keen to meet you ever since Loid sung your praises a few weeks ago. If you’ll come with me?”

Gorey made one more attempt to look past her — but Yor tipped her head, letting her hair fall to obscure his view. And it was clear he was very tempted by the prospect of flattery. “Well,” he finally said, puffing up his chest. “If you insist.”

“You’re doing me such a favour, Doctor Gorey,” Yor gushed.

As Gorey turned in the direction she indicated, Yor looked over her shoulder, meeting Twilight’s eyes. He didn’t smile outright, but she knew that slight curve to his lips, the way his eyes shone at her.

Quickly, before Gorey might notice, Yor winked, and blew him a kiss.

Like he had in the beginning — so adorable! — Twilight ducked his head ever so slightly, such that only she would notice, a faint flush touching his cheeks, before he turned his attention back to the people he was speaking with. Yor fell into step beside Gorey, feeling like she might be glowing just a little bit.

After Yor had set Gorey talking to a WISE agent she had roped into the ploy — with apologies! — Yor took a moment to survey the room. And if her eyes lingered on her husband —

“You two are still doing that, huh.”

Yor turned to Sylvia, who had come up beside her, wine glass in hand. “Hm?” Yor asked.

with you, all in tangles (+1)

3 times Yor blows kisses to Twilight and one time Twilight blows a kiss to Yor

Standing anxiously by the dining table, Yor fretted, looking at Yuri through the serving hatch into the kitchen where he was busy with — something. She wasn't even sure what challenge he’d given Twilight this time around, only that it wasn't going as Yuri wanted.

It never did. Always doomed to failure. Twilight had at least a decade’s experience on Yuri, countless undercover missions where he’d learned countless and often quite random skills… Yor sighed. She didn’t blame Yuri, not really. He didn’t know the truth about Twilight. And the circumstances of their marriage were strange. But also it had been months now (!) and would this just be what it was like for the rest of their lives?!

Yuri had turned his back on Twilight to do something, and Twilight took the opportunity to catch her attention. He raised an eyebrow at her, and Yor's eyes widened. She resisted the urge to cover her face with her hands, mouthed desperately, I'm so sorry! 

But Twilight shook his head, mouthed, It's all right, Yor, back to her. She tried to make her face into an expression that would show she believed him, but going by the way the furrow between his brows had appeared, she obviously failed.

As she tried to think of what to do — how could she end this when Yuri tried to keep her out of it? Even though it was apparently about caring (?) for (??) her (???) ?! —

Twilight glanced at Yuri, still facing away, and then Twilight…

Twilight winked at her. Raised his hand to his lips, kissed his fingers, and blew her the kiss.

Pure shining delight bubbled through her. She covered her mouth but still a giggle escaped. She couldn't fight her smile. Oh, but she loved him so dearly. Twilight flashed a grin, his eyes twinkling at her, and he winked again just as Yuri whirled around.

with you, all in tangles (2)

3 times Yor blows kisses to Twilight and one time Twilight blows a kiss to Yor

Yor waved to Anya as the school bus pulled away and jolted a little in surprise when Twilight took her hand as soon as she'd dropped it from her wave. At her jolt, Twilight loosened his hold, murmured, "We don't have —"

"No!" Yor tightened her hand around his, bringing it up to her chest impulsively. "I'm just... I'm not used to this yet.”

Twilight studied her, and Yor held his gaze through her blush and against the urge to shy away. After a moment, he tipped his head, smiled a little. "All right," and he tugged gently, bringing their hands down to hang between them. "Shall we?"

Strictly speaking, the hospital where Loid worked wasn't exactly on Yor's way to to work. But since... since two days ago, they had walked together each morning. Twilight first, yesterday, to city hall, and now Yor, today, to the hospital.

Two days ago was when Twilight had said, Nothing needs to change, but there's something I want to tell you, and Yor had looked at the stiff hold of his neck, the uncertain cast of his eyes, the way his breathing was just a little elevated, all signs he was nervous, except that while Twilight often felt much more than he was comfortable with, he was never nervous and so she had flustered which had set Twilight to withdraw into himself in a way Yor had learned meant he was trying to think quickly to avoid panic, which made her fluster more, until finally Twilight had blurted out his feelings, and

And everything had stopped.

And Yor had breathed out.

And Twilight looked a little stunned when she smiled at him, even though she felt a little tremulous. When she said, Oh, I feel the same, she had told him softly. I have for months.

And everything had changed.

Or, she supposed it would be more accurate to say, everything was in the process of changing.

Twilight tugged her hand again, and Yor took a step forward, and then, just like that, they were walking together. "Will it be a busy day for you?" he asked.

"Mmm, no, I don't think so," Yor said, looking off to the side to consider. "Actually it's a little quiet at the moment." And in case he was asking about her other work, she added, "No reason for overtime."

Twilight made a thoughtful noise. "So you'll be home for dinner?"

"Mhm, should be!"

"I'm glad to hear it," he said, voice warm in a way that sent little shivers all through her body.

"And your day?" she asked, giving a little swing of their hands between them to release some of those shivers. She felt Twilight's eyes slide to her when she did. Knew he'd be tamping down on some amusement if she looked. Yor bit her lip against her own.

"My day should be fairly normal," Twilight finally answered. "I don't anticipate any extra patients."

"I should hope not," Yor said darkly: extra patients really meant side missions. "You have too much to do as it is. She must give you a break."

Twilight was quiet for a moment, then said in an undertone, "I'll let her know to sleep with one eye open. That she's on your list."

Yor gasped — Does he think I meant I'd break Sylvia — ?! Turned to him urgently. "That isn't what I meant! I would never —"

But Twilight was looking back at her with a mild expression, his eyebrows raised over eyes bright with humour.

Hello? Appeared on the soft part of the back of his hand, between his thumb and forefinger. He shouldn't have seen it except that something scorching had torn, had burnt, his glove away and he only just noticed that, the way the fabric had curled and crisped and as he stared, as his heart rate went higher and higher — What did that? Could I have lost my hand?! — more words appeared. I could really — this was crossed out— if — crossed out, but then again — if you're — this was then crossed out as well, but the scribbles didn't disappear, just words on his hand with frantic, messy lines through them until one remained unsullied — can we talk?

Rating: T Ship: Yor x Twilight

Characters: Yor, Twilight, Handler Tags: Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Canon Backstory, Pre-Relationship, Epistolary, Sort Of, Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

with you, all in tangles (1)

3 times Yor blows kisses to Twilight and one time Twilight blows a kiss to Yor

It was their third mission together. Something easy, the Shopkeeper had said. For you. We'll see how your Twilight performs.

And Yor was… Yor was seeing.

Their first two missions has been in his world. Tonight's was in hers. Loid-Twilight was backup for her, for Thorn Princess.

He was performing very, very well.

She had always known he was kind and competent and handsome, of course. She'd known that she sort of, kind of, maybe a little bit had something of a crush on him. It's just that it hadn't mattered and hadn't meant anything because everything they were doing was false and anyway, there was nothing about Yor which might draw the attention of Dr Loid Forger in that way. And even if somehow there was, Yor didn't... she didn't like that she had so many lies between him and herself. She struggled enough with that as they were; it made her dizzy, imagining what those lies might do if, if they became — if they became more than —

Then that horrible night happened. Yor learned about Twilight. Twilight learned about Yor. And they both learned about Anya —

Days and days passed with lots of conversation and lots of discussing and lots of disagreeing quietly while pretending in front of Anya that everything was all right (unsuccessfully, because telepath) and being very honest in front of Anya that she had nothing to worry about (successfully, because it was true and also because telepath).

Then WISE contacted Garden and Garden agreed to meet with them, and the conversations became negotiations which included Loid's Handler and her Shopkeeper, and now they were here and doing missions together.

And Yor was being forcibly reminded that she'd never really stopped fancying Loid. Twilight. It had only become more confusing. And it was getting more confusing by the second, because he was incredibly talented. Of course she'd already known that but she hadn't know he was talented like this. And she'd never really thought about men's bodies before except for how to incapacitate or kill them or how to defend against their attacks, but she was thinking about Loid's body now, and how he moved and how he worked and how his hands were very clever and his shoulders a very nice shape and he had excellent foot work and precise muscle control and his waist —

"Thorn Princess?"

Yor bit her lip as her cheeks heated, something fluttery in her chest, in her stomach, and flicked her eyes back to his face. "Mhm?"

Twilight’s expression was mild but she knew that particular light in his eyes: he was frustrated. "I'm not sure how we'll get through,” he said. “WISE's intel must have been outdated; there are more of them than we expected."

"Oh." Yor looked around. They were on some sort of ledge, surrounded by bodies, most she had evidently taken down. She reviewed the assignment. If she wasn't mistaken, the primary client was actually immediately below them, and there ought to be a promenade under the ledge she could use to access his suite. She was confident she could deal with whatever security were physically in with the client, so… "Can you distract these people?"

"Of course," Twilight said. And he often looked unfazed and assured, but how had Yor never noticed how appealing that was before? Something stirred, fluttered, again in her belly. He went on, "But we still need to get two storeys down."

"Is it two floors? I thought his suite was directly below us."

Twilight inclined his head. "The suite has a high ceiling."

"Oh, that's no trouble. If you don't mind distracting these people, I'll finish the assignment."

After a beat where Twilight held her gaze, he asked, "You don't need backup down there?"

"No, but thank you!" Yor said cheerfully. She rolled to the edge of the ledge, and, protected behind a very ugly statue, she stood. There was no railing around the ledge which seemed like a safety risk — what if children ever came up here?! — but was useful for her needs. She stepped back, until her heels were right at the edge. "Don't worry about that!"

"I — if you're sure." He didn't sound doubtful, though Yor couldn't blame him for some hesitation. This wasn't the plan after all and she had long since learned that Loid liked plans! He didn't tend to mind them changing but she suspected he preferred it when he was the one changing them. Still, he was reloading his guns, and then pulling something from his backpack. He looked up at her from his crouch. "Thorn Princess. Yor. Are you sure you don't want backup?"

Butterflies took flight, fluttering sweetly in her in her belly, filling her chest. The way he asked it… As though... as though he cared. About her, about her answer, about what she needed to do her job. She beamed at him, and Twilight looked stunned for just a breath, pink appearing high on his cheeks, and —

And Yor blamed what happened next on the butterflies.

"You don't have to worry about me!" she called. Then she winked, blew him a kiss, and stepped backward off the ledge.

For the whole second it took to drop, her cheeks burning hot enough to heat all of Ostania, her mind was filled with a shriek, What was that?!

Then she landed, and gun shots sounded overhead, and Yor stood. She twirled her stilettos as the guards inside caught sight of her. The work began.

Part 2 (2) ->

Chapter Four

Rating: M Ship: Yor x Twilight

Characters: Yor, Twilight, Anya, Shopkeeper Tags: Identity reveal, family feels, romance, emotional hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort, touch starved, trust issues, intimacy, slow burn, fluff and angst, some humour (eventually) Chapter: 4/18

So, as I'm writing more than I anticipated when I first dipped a toe into SxF fandom (!) I thought I'd collect the meta & fic links in one place! 💕 (not spoiler-free :)

META

Endo describes Twilight as 'matter of fact' rather than 'kind': there's a profound philosophy embedded in that sentiment.

Anya isn’t needed for Strix. Twilight decides to adopt her anyway.

Let's get deep into analysing the meaning behind the choice of the word Forger for our family's last name

What moment(s) cinched it for Twilight to start developing feelings for Yor?

What about a Twilight x Yor romance, pre-reveal, in canon? (Ask response)

FIC

Let's start living dangerously (T, Complete)

Twilight x Yor. Post-reveal, humour, fluff, mutual pining, romance, and lots of thinking and lots of feelings. Also flirts with 'idiots in love', I'll have to add that tag...!

It's only me, what have you got to lose? (M, WIP, current primary focus)

Began with me wanting to explore Yor finding out about Twilight, and has, um, expanded. Yor x Twilight. Identity reveals, angst and fluff, hurt/comfort (emotional and physical), touch starvation, lots of feelings, intimacy, some humour (ah, eventually), and the building of something real.

heartlines (T, one-shot complete)

Hello? Appeared on the soft part of the back of his hand, between his thumb and forefinger. He shouldn't have seen it except that something scorching had torn, had burnt, his glove away and he only just noticed that, the way the fabric had curled and crisped and as he stared, as his heart rate went higher and higher — What did that? Could I have lost my hand?! — more words appeared. I could really — this was crossed out— if — crossed out, but then again — if you're — this was then crossed out as well, but the scribbles didn't disappear, just words on his hand with frantic, messy lines through them until one remained unsullied — can we talk?

Twilight x Yor. Based on a prompt from this list of soulmate prompts, canon divergence if there existed soulmarks in the SxF world. Pre-relationship, sort of epistolary until it very suddenly isn't 😊

our melodies overlapped (T, WIP, currently backburnered)

Twilight character study basically! Family-orientated, some Twilight x Yor. Backburnered in part because it's actually led me to disagreeing with myself 😂 and I'll probably need to rework it.

Twilight journaling short fic (T, complete)

So I've been thinking about them:

Specifically I was wondering what the moment was (if there even was a specific moment) that cinched it for Twilight developing feelings for Yor.

[Spoiler warning: this post references manga chapters not yet animated]

I think for Yor it's pretty quick. Like, this moment here:

Not that Yor fell in love with Twilight then (ymmv) or that she's fully aware of her feelings, but it's explicit that she felt connected to him here and attached in meaningful ways.

But for Twilight, it wasn't so clear. For a while I'd kind of decided that it just came over him slowly (and I think there is something to that) and that there wasn't any singular moment which stood out. But that didn't feel quite right. The more I thought about it, the more I thought there were two stand-out moments, only one of which Twilight actually (semi-)clocks.

The first, which I think passes him by entirely, is this:

In my view, this laugh is an entirely authentic response. I think he is, despite himself, delighted by this woman who 1. just unexpectedly saved him from being stabbed, and 2. did it by sending the guy flying across an entire alleyway.

This is accentuated in the anime, I think, by the jaunty, puckish music that makes up the first part of their marriage theme song. I am dying for the reappearance of this music in some fashion, btw, it's so fun and cheeky and I'm hoping foreshadows their vibe after various revelations and particularly when they start working together as Agent Twilight and Thorn Princess:

The second moment for Twilight, I think, is more subtle for all it's more impactful. Or at least, the degree of its importance passed me by on initial read/watch, and I think it's deliberately downplayed by Twilight himself. Because he does actually clock it but if he looks more closely at it, well... then he might have to do something about it. And maybe that something won't comport with what the mission needs, and then what?

It happens when Twilight first bugs Yor, and then poses with Franky as SSS agents to test whether she knows Yuri is with the SSS.

It's clear in the lead up that Twilight recognises he has some feelings about/for Yor, and he doesn't want to spy on her; he doesn't want to mistrust her at all. He has to convince himself to take seriously that she may be a potential threat.

And even then, the convincing only sort of mostly works, because he hesitates again:

Which is, by the way, bananas. At this point, they've been a fake family for maybe a handful of weeks? Twilight is an experienced, accomplished spy with a finely honed and necessary sense of paranoia. Of course he should be suspicious. Her brother is an SSS agent! Canonically, the SSS are both Twilight- and SSS self-described as Twilight's greatest existential threat. It shouldn't be a question whether or not to verify Yor's knowledge here. And yet.

We all know how the rest plays out. He decides that listening in isn't enough, he needs to confront her insofar as he's able. I wrote previously about Twilight's relationship with Anya and the pivotal moment for him in how his view of his relationship with Anya changes based on Anya's (and Endo's) choices. I think a similar thing happens in this scene with Yor.

See, it would have been enough for Yor to continue to deny, continue to not call on Yuri's help, to prove she didn't know, and to put Twilight's mind at ease.

Endo takes it further.

Y'all: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WILD. It borders on levels of impulsive foolhardiness that Twilight should actually take as a negative for the person playing his wife for Operation Strix. Yor even alludes later to the problems this could cause!

The SSS are indiscriminate; if Yor was facing down actual SSS agents, first assaulting and then threatening them would 100000% land her in custody. Were it not for Yuri, it may even get her disappeared, based on how casually and frequently Yuri references having people executed. It would absolutely put the Forgers at risk, in general and in the implicitly sexist Ostanian society, because if Mrs Forger behaves this way, how does Mr Forger behave? And why can't he control his wife? The Secret Police are not known for their leniency, their modesty, their discerning, their temperateness, their mercy. They are known for the exact opposite of those things. And due to being a spy, Twilight probably knows they're actually much worse than even their public reputation.

And here's Yor saying: you can question me but if you threaten my brother or my husband, I will fucking end you. Bodily.

Of course, it's entirely in keeping with her character, and it's an entirely revealing moment of who she is. And I think this is the moment for Twilight. He's already been trusting her bit by bit, as he says above, intuitively. I'd suggest that maybe even more than that though, Yor taps into something Twilight deeply wants: backup. Someone and somewhere safe. Maybe we could describe a person fulfilling that role in an adult relationship as a partner...?

It's because he doubts his intuition (his wants, his feelings, things he shouldn't be countenancing) that we get to this point where he (overzealously) tests her.

She blows his test right out of the water.

The SSS are basically the group he fears most; this is reiterated throughout the story. He doesn't trust them specifically because of who he is and also just generally. He doesn't trust their judgment. He doesn't share their values or their priorities. He doesn't like them around. He doesn't like them looking. He doesn't like being anywhere near them. (Also, he's right.)

And here's Yor. Not only standing up to them on his behalf but actually going on active defence on his behalf.

(I pause here to note 'on his behalf' is a bit, mm, tricky, since it's actually technically on Loid's behalf and I have Thoughts and Feelings about Twilight & Identity. But for the sake of the impact of this moment on Twilight, we'll take it as writ that in this moment there's no appreciable difference between Twilight and Loid.)

I think from here on out, it's incredibly difficult for Twilight to ever doubt or distrust Yor. He perceives her as firmly in his corner, that if the chips are down — if his worst enemy and his worst fear come knocking — she'll be on his team, unflinchingly. He may not think there will be much she can do (heh.) or much she can offer given the power of the SSS and her civilian status (I reiterate: heh.), but it matters that he believes that she'll be by his side.

And you know what? He's right. She will be.

That isn't something he's had since he was a little boy. Even WISE doesn't seem to offer that to its agents, given Nightfall's thought here:

Twilight's had to rely on himself for decades and now here's this astonishing woman who will threaten the Secret Police for his sake. Of course he trusts Yor. Of course this moment widens the cracks in his barriers. And further: of course those cracks start to reach into those walls deep, deep inside that protect his heart. This is all before getting to other moments, like when he reflects on how Yor is creating a better world in ways he (thinks he) can never aspire to do himself. That she loves Anya openly, freely, with such dedication, to the point of sacrificing her own needs. That she just never gives up, she persists and persists and persists, always doing her best. That she reminds him it's okay to accept peace and to rest. That she wants and tries to take care of him... On and on and on.

Of course we get to this point:

I'm particularly taken with his body language a little later in the scene. He manages to get himself to sitting but he's still sprawled, open, even as he can't wrap his mind around what exactly is happening or why, and he's feeling vulnerable for all that. But at the same time, this is Yor. And she's safe.

In my view, if the Mole Arc hadn't happened immediately between this moment and the earlier where Yor declares herself unhappy, it would have been clearer how much stress he felt specifically due to Yor's apparent sudden unhappiness with their arrangement. The stress got subsumed (conveniently, ahem, Endo) into the stress and violence of the Mole Arc, but I think it rattled him pretty profoundly. It's also additionally why her warm greeting hit him as hard as it did: relief across multiple lines, such that he had to remind himself not to relax, despite Yor's apparent return to normal.

And there may be added layers to Twilight's reactions to Yor's bad moods due to his familial history, as pointed out by @unhappy-sometimes in this post; the inverse, of course, is that Yor's general good-naturedness would add layers to Twilight's sense of security with her. And the apparent loss of that, all the more devastating.

Rounding out the original moment though, I think this in many ways demonstrates the point:

Twilight throws away the bug. That is also wild. It isn't like that bug could only be used on Yor; it wasn't somehow modified to only respond to her person. It was a device that could be used and reused on different targets, on people who actually are worthy of being bugged, etc. But instead of pocketing it for later use, Twilight throws it away.

Actually: he not only throws it away, he crushes it first. Perhaps because he couldn't stand to have that particular device around, the device he used when he doubted Yor?

Seems kind of irrational, Twilight.

Seems kind of telling.

I mentioned my last Twilight meta about his relationship with Anya: in that, I suggest Twilight recognised entering into a compact with Anya, which subtly modifies, for him, the motivations around Strix. I think something like that happens here, too. If Yor is willing to go to such apparent extremes to protect him, he'll do his utmost to protect her.

I've had this meta in my drafts for a while, but I'm chuffed by this panel from the most recent chapter, as it kind of underscores all this by Yor's positioning of herself:

(Of course the point is there isn't a dichotomy: they'll protect each other, as indicated by Yor's if I had to choose: she won't have to choose.)

Back to Twilight, at this point, he can still justify all this as being within mission parameters. Of course he should protect Yor: she is an innocent civilian and if anything happens to her it would threaten Strix. But if/when this line is tested, if/when there comes a point where protecting Yor is actually the option that may put Strix at risk or put him somehow in opposition to WISE, then we'll see.

And more importantly, Twilight will see, too.

it's only me, what have you got to lose?

Chapter: 2/18

Relationships: Yor x Twilight Rated: M Characters: Yor, Twilight, Anya, Bond, Shopkeeper, Handler Tags: Identity Reveal, Emotions, Romance, Family Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Touch-Starved, Trust Issues, Intimacy, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Some Humor

Off the back of this great post by @hermy-97 about Endo's choice in Twilight's alias last names and specifically the comedy therein, I had MANY THOUGHTS! But in a DIFFERENT DIRECTION! I didn't want to hijack the original post though, so am jumping off separately. (Manga spoilers discussed herein)

Following in OP's footsteps and borrowing here from Google's definition, here's what Google says for 'forge':

As OP covered off meaning three, I wanted to look more at meanings one and two!

I’d personally argue number one also applies if taken as metaphor.

I think it works broadly for how trauma can sometimes feel (for better and, more often, for worse), but more specifically in the context of Twilight & SxF, I think about how 'forged' is often used as a metaphor for people's experiences of war, speaking to how those experiences shape them (particularly: 'forged in the crucible of war'). Indeed, ash is a frequent motif throughout Twilight's backstory chapters:

Personally I'd say its reasonable to extend the metaphor back further into Twilight's adolescence and childhood, given how (understandably) angry, hurt and grief-stricken it left him, leading him into the military (undoubtedly though he also, ironically, joined the army as a means of survival: food, shelter, a desperation to do something and have some form of regularity even if it was within the context of the military and a war campaign, etc). Of course this could also apply to many other adults in the series, and their experiences of the two wars.

I’d say definition two applies as well; OP noted Twilight's honeypot missions in this instance, and I think it carries further, outside of either honeypot or other missions.

It can be taken as a whole within the Forger household, after all Twilight did create the Forgers. But more importantly to me, this meaning applies particularly by way of what Anya and Yor are doing within the family, their choices and aims, and how they’re influencing and shaping the Forgers. And then, of course, Twilight’s choices in return, both under the explicit guise of for the mission and those times when the mission is curiously (ahem) absent from or delayed in his thought process. They three are forging something real, regardless of what the family began as, and regardless of how they may be looking at it presently.

I'd tend to say that, of our three, Anya is doing this most intentionally: I know Twilight does a lot as Loid, and I think the tone he set for the family actually does impact this collective act of creation fairly substantially. However, he still tells himself the family is temporary: maybe it's nice while it lasts but it will end and that's that. Whereas Anya is, insofar as she can conceive of it as a five year old, very deliberately trying to create bonds and smooth possible fissures, with an explicit view of everlasting. Which makes sense, since she's the only family member who knows the full circumstances, even if she doesn't and can't (and shouldn't) understand how complex it all is.

Yor, of course, also does a lot but again, I don't think she sees it as a specific project; in part because our favourite assassin isn't known for her forward planning, and also because it's simply how she moves through the world. And that's speaking: that Yor's impulses, instincts and choices build into forever-types of foundations, without her necessarily thinking of them that way. There are many tragedies within SxF but the one I think of with Yor particularly is that she is such a community person and particularly a community builder, but due to her traumas and circumstances, she hadn't had the opportunity to live that part of herself. It's one of my favourite things, watching her come into her own and live out her values and priorities inside and outside the home. /side track. All of which to say, she is, definitionally, a forger. As here, where she creates bonds with not only her colleagues but demonstrates connecting threads across generations and individual experiences.

The definition around creating something also applies to Twilight’s mission in Strix — preventing war actually also necessitates the forging of bonds. It’s unclear how things will shake out with, for instance, Yuri, but Twilight-as-Loid-Forger is already a positive presence in several circles (his hospital job for instance) and Yor’s presence is also increasingly positive (at work and it seems possibly/probably with Melinda) and Anya’s also making positive waves in her circles (with Becky, and while I think Damian's trajectory is a bit less linear, I know others argue that she's positively influencing him as well).

(If I wanted to go deeper, I'd also borrow a Watsonian perspective and chat a bit about what it says about Twilight to choose the name Forger, given his clear wants for family and his equal surety he can't ever have one, even from the first few pages of the manga... Perhaps in another meta.)

I think it's also worth noting that although Endo goes to this particular joke well a few times, Forger stands distinct. Neither 'Phony' (def: not genuine, fraudulent) nor 'Spoof(y)' (def: imitate for comedic effect; hoax or trick someone) have any sort of additional meaning along the lines of actual creation. And of course, in the case of Spoofy, Twilight is tricking the military; and with Fiona, bless her, any sort of romantic relationship with Twilight would only ever be fraudulent.

I wanted to round things out with one more definition, this time taken from duckduckgo's:

If that isn't the tune of the Forger family and Spy x Family generally, I don't know what is.

Chapters: 1/18 Fandom: SPY x FAMILY (Manga) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Loid Forger | Twilight/Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess Characters: Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Loid Forger | Twilight, Anya Forger, Shopkeeper (SPY x FAMILY), Bond (SPY x FAMILY) Additional Tags: Identity Reveal, Emotions, Romance, Family Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Touch-Starved, Trust Issues, Intimacy, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Some Humor Summary:

“Are you willing to follow my lead?”

Why — why did that question make her so angry? It was a practical question in the circumstances. It wasn’t one Yor was typically asked but it wasn’t so far outside the norm. And, a part of her which felt very small added, she had happily followed Loid's lead on many things over the months, without question, trusting his kind eyes, his calming practicality, his seeming abiding normality —

But. What did any of that mean any longer?

 The Forger house of cards collapses, and with everything that matters in the balance, the value of normal becomes an open negotiation.

Injury

He couldn't find the source of the blood. The tear in Yor's long sleeve had shifted such that the actual wound itself was hidden: somewhere awkward, high on her tricep. It would be substantially easier if they weren't squeezed, hiding out in a tiny closet: Twilight had his back against the wall, the back of Yor's legs pressed tight to his as she twisted and leaned forward to give him better access to her arm. He considered again the prospect of returning home to tend to it but... for all it didn't seem to be a bad injury, it was bleeding steadily. Twilight shook his head; best not to risk a blood trail. He banged his elbow, biting back a curse, moving to carefully roll her sleeve further, hoping to finally reveal where the bullet had clipped her.

"It hurts it hurts it hurts!" Yor whispered.

Twilight stared at the back of Yor's head. Yor had once given him an astonishing list of injuries she'd sustained in the course of her work (and some from her attempts at cookery). She'd told him idly, offhandedly, as though it were a passing curiosity; the incongruity striking as they'd walked hand-in-hand around the park on a date. He'd sought and found evidence of some of them later that same evening, hadn't quite known why it was important to him or what to think about each mark, though Yor had liked when he feathered kisses to them. As the weeks passed and their intimacy deepened, he uncovered more and more of them, until Twilight was fairly certain he had now mapped them all, kissed them all, and knew quite well what injuries Yor had recovered from.

So how someone who had survived that number and diversity of injury could also have such low pain tolerance —

Something I think about a lot and wonder if maybe gets overlooked in Twilight’s story and as vitally indicative of his character is actually in the very first chapter:

Anya isn’t needed for Strix. Twilight decides to adopt her anyway.

[Spoiler warning: Mostly this post deals with early chapters already in the anime but there is reference to chapter 62, which has not yet been animated and will be in season 3]

Twilight decides it — “I’m going to rework the mission so it doesn’t involve a child because that’s too dangerous” and he’s 100% right! Donovan Desmond is canonically a far right warmonger with fascistic authoritarian aims. His government made liberal use of the SSS — a group to mirror the Stasi — who continue to operate in morally dubious ways (much more likely they’re actively morally reprehensible, though we’ve mostly only had rumours of that so far). From what we can tell, Desmond is at best an absent father and likely actually worse than that: if that's how he treats his own children, imagine how he might treat others. And the timeline seems to indicate that the experimentation performed on Anya was done under Desmond's government — even if Twilight isn't aware of experimentation on children, he is aware of both human and animal experimentation under Desmond's government. Taking all that and also the complexity of Strix's aims, undoubtedly there were other things that could be done, more straightforward if not necessarily easier.

So. Why? Why entertain the change at all? And then, having entertained it, why go back when the reasoning is indisputable?

On the Doylist level, I think Endo wanted to ensure that Anya had some agency within the set up — Endo also does this with Yor. It would be much harder to be on Twilight’s side fully, or to trust him on an ethical level/take him as any sort of moral authority, if he were just straightforwardly using these two people. To have them be active and consenting participants (arguably to actually be affirming the arrangement: Twilight sets it up, but Anya and Yor actually make it happen) even if the audience only knows the depth of their knowledge/motivations/etc currently, shifts the power dynamic in important ways.

But it also the set up tells us important things about Twilight. He is largely impatient, cold, detached in chapter one. His overarching feelings towards Anya are, I think, real annoyance, real confusion, and real impatience. He just doesn’t understand this damn kid and it turns out she’s a person which is frankly unacceptable — he’d needed and anticipated an automaton, ideally of himself in miniature form. (Though I think one could ponder whether Twilight was, in many ways, an automaton himself at this point, but that's maybe for another meta 🙃)

He’s not entirely unmoved of course — we're given to understand he’s affected when Franky tells him how many times Anya’s been adopted and returned, and isn't amused by Franky's joke about names. Franky's comment — "Just don't get attached" — reinforces this. The prospect of “the future” perturbs Twilight when he’s reading the parenting books. His initial reaction to Anya’s kidnap is horror. All these are true too.

Then there’s also this, from earlier in the chapter:

It’s exposition, yeah, and it’s also exposing. "Hopes" and "joys" are very specific words to describe those events. It could simply have been "A marriage? An ordinary life?" but describing them as such — hope for marriage; joy in ordinary life — expose something of what Twilight feels about those two experiences and, on the flipside, they expose what he deems he's lacking. No hopes of intimacy; no joy in (an ordinary) life. There's an argument as well, of course, that he's being ironic but I don't think that actually invalidates the above analysis. Drawing attention to 'hope' and 'joy' at all are revealing, regardless of Twilight's tone in thinking of them. I think it's also interesting this panel, taken in conjunction with a pair of panels in chapter 62, Twilight's backstory. The above is almost a pulled out version of this below panel of Twilight's recollection of his childhood, and of course the returning image of not just a rubbish bin but a rubbish bin on fire when it comes to disposing of his identity:

Back to Strix. Both his final interaction with Karen and the whole everything of the framing of Strix is making Twilight think (and feel, ahem) things that he hasn't for some time. Twilight decides, I’m reworking this. It can’t proceed this way. Not because Anya is a pain in his ass, not because she’s not as (apparently) intellectually advanced as he’d originally thought, not even because he thinks he can find another child who would better be exactly what mission parameters called for. No:

And what changes his mind is Anya asking to come home.

One of the important parts of this to me is this:

He seeks consent.

This moment is a keystone, I think, to understanding Twilight. It’s also more telling than he maybe realises. Twilight is decisive — we all laugh because he spirals at the drop of a hat when his daughter or wife look even mildly upset but outside those (also very telling) scenarios, he makes decisions and he pursues them. Often he makes decisions quickly. He’s a dab hand at it; it’s a large part of why he’s as good a spy as he is.

He’d decided to change Strix.

Anya asks him, in essence, not to.

So, he doesn't.

But it's wild that he entertains keeping her request at all — why? Why even entertain it? It’s dangerous; it’s impractical; there are too many moving parts outside his direct control; Anya isn’t the sort of child he’d wanted for the mission if he’d spent any time thinking about what a child might actually be like; Strix is in many ways an extremely long shot anyway, Desmond could just stop attending for reasons unknown and unrelated; etc.

So, yeah, why? Maybe because of this —

In conjunction, I often think of this moment in the cruise arc:

Twilight first naming the feeling as lonesome, and secondly tacitly conceding that he perceives Yor as a companion and that that relationship is important to him, something to be missed. What makes this for me though is that Anya calls this out "Papa's you're so sappy" and Twilight's reaction is that of someone caught-out. He doesn’t say “nuh-uh!” but he may as well have. Essentially, something landed a bit close to home, hm? Maybe some of that hope for marriage? A soupçon of joy of an ordinary life?

Twilight’s loneliness underpins many of his decisions with his family — probably without him being fully conscious of it. I think he is at least somewhat conscious of it, but also if he looks too closely... Well, best not to. I could fill this post, I think, with images that demonstrate his loneliness throughout the series; that sorrowful/pensive close-up of his eye(s) is one of the abiding motifs for Twilight throughout. I'd probably start with this one from Twilight's backstory arc:

Anya's request plays directly off his loneliness. Still though, he doesn’t immediately capitulate — he emphasises Anya’s choice. Is she sure? The last day has been scary for a child (and for him, but he's ignoring that part) and Twilight, in his increasing recognition that Anya is a person, is probably aware in the back of his mind that he hasn’t exactly been warm or welcoming or at all patient with her. Things that people respond to — he's otherwise excellent at manipulating people, so of course he understands this. So. Given she'd just had this scary experience, given he hasn't exactly been great with her: Is she sure? She wants to come home — with him?

I think the moment may get a little lost because Anya says something riffing off his own earlier thoughts and self-revelation (featuring that shadowed, lonely eye motif again!)

Were this a post about Anya, I’d talk about how it’s an important character moment for her as well by way both of demonstrating her agency/choice and also that she isn’t nearly as dumb as Twilight thinks (and the audience, maybe, also thinks).

But in my view, she didn’t actually need to say anything about it making her cry. I think she could simply have said yes in that moment and Twilight would have agreed.

Twilight’s an unreliable narrator; he’s disconnected from his heart and that shrouds his own motivations from himself — something he actually also concedes in this chapter!

And it shrouds from us just how much he actually understands himself. He’s also a master of deflection. Easy to assume or say that bringing Anya home is just to align with Strix. Nothing more to see here; nothing else going on. But also that ripping off of the mask in the panel above — and the literal 'riiip' sound effects — also indicate to us that this is an unveiling to himself.

In my view, Twilight agreeing to Anya's request, deciding to go back to original mission parameters, actually shifts his motivations, subtly. Now he’s committed not only to the original mission goals, but also to Anya. He needs Anya to succeed at Strix, not only for Strix's sake, but also because otherwise the mission will end and she’ll have to go back to the orphanage, and he’s just agreed with her not to do that (not right away, in any case). I don’t think at this point he’s thinking it’s forever — his thoughts throughout the manga indicate he still expects the Forgers to be temporary. I don't think the shift in motivation is necessarily even conscious, but given the set up, I think something inside Twilight recognises that agreeing to bring Anya home is a compact, jointly engaged. Mostly all this has become subsumed into Strix: he makes decisions. He pursues them. He deflects, even from himself. Of course it's just for the mission; this saved him the trouble of reworking it, of figuring out something else. Nothing more to see; no need to think any more on it. And to be fair to him, Strix is very high stakes, resting pretty solely on his shoulders, so of course that is, objectively, motivation enough. Why even consider beyond that?

But I personally think that to the extent he's aware of it at all, there is something else going on, that he wants to have Anya for as long as it takes him to work something else out for her. If that's the case, then of course, we have Occam’s razor: the simplest solution may be the best one.

Maybe Twilight should just keep Anya himself, eh?

[Image description: gif from Spy x Family season 1, episode 1. Twilight and Anya have just found out Anya passed her entrance exam and are overjoyed. Celebratory, Twilight picks Anya up and swoops her into the air as they smile at one another. End image description]