STATISTICS! and COMPASSION!

@bbcwhereareyou

Tristan really out here shooting his shot and getting nothing but net with that last item on his bucket list

Sure because then it's not preferential treatment. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this wound needs more salt

-me opening Twitter for the 10th time today, probably

On movie #4 and they're really laying it on thick. The grumpy veteran detective is a good cook and can play musical instruments and secretly appreciates the rookie detective even though they have a bickering antagonistic thing going on.

Ugh it's cute I don't want to like copaganda. I can't wait to find out what's going on with all the weird people in the neighborhood. I don't think Joey Pants is the actual art thief.

I'm putting it out there that I think the third cop is in on it and Joey Pants is a nice old man who's reformed his ways after his mistakes and has been framed.

It wasn't the third cop, but he was rather obviously set up. VINDICATION

Anyway there are so many appalling things about The Santa Stakeout but it hits all the notes it needs to. ★★ but please don't date your new partner in real life even if he is a tall drink of water.

On movie #4 and they're really laying it on thick. The grumpy veteran detective is a good cook and can play musical instruments and secretly appreciates the rookie detective even though they have a bickering antagonistic thing going on.

Ugh it's cute I don't want to like copaganda. I can't wait to find out what's going on with all the weird people in the neighborhood. I don't think Joey Pants is the actual art thief.

I'm putting it out there that I think the third cop is in on it and Joey Pants is a nice old man who's reformed his ways after his mistakes and has been framed.

I do enjoy that there's an ecosystem of actors in these holiday movies that are just kind of churning them out over and over. Get that paycheck, folks.

In other news I'm doing another one with Tamara Mowrey.

Though it is very, very funny to see Joey Pants in a silly Hallmark Christmas movie 😆

Moving on to #3: Best. Christmas. Ever!

It looks real bad but I can't handle Hot Frosty at 1:30 on a weekday afternoon so I'm about to watch some drivel with Jason Biggs of American Pie fame as the male lead.

Look, I'm all here for dorky nostalgia dudes but like was Craig from Degrassi not available for this?

The crux of the conflict is that Brandy sent out a braggy holiday newsletter and through some kid shenanigans these college friends of hers and their kids end up at Brandy's house instead of the mom's sister's new house and then they get snowed in.

I can suspend a LOT of disbelief for a holiday movie but I'm supposed to believe Jason Biggs dated Brandy through college and now he's married to Heather Graham who is super jealous? HONESTLY.

Heather Graham is now snooping around Brandy's house trying to figure out how much of the newsletter is true and how much is an exaggeration, but so far it all checks out and Heather Graham is straight up not having a good time.

I was literally just thinking that I'd riot if there wasn't a scene engineered to have Brandy sing and *POOF* there it was, a microphone inexplicably in her hand singing Let It Snow while Jason Biggs accompanies her on guitar.

Brandy is so forgiving of Heather Graham's nonsense. Girl, I'm sorry that your life didn't turn out like you imagined but honestly most people's don't. Be an adult.

Heather Graham sunk their entire emergency fund into a house and then the company she works for implodes because of a thing she tried to blow the whistle about ages ago. So now it's a race against time to get to Salt Lake City to sign the papers to revoke it in person before everything closes for Christmas (and then make it back in time for the holiday pageant lol)

Anyway. Who buys a house without talking to their spouse about it??????????

RATING: ★★ The stars are one each for Brandy's musical performances, everything else is dumb af.

Moving on to #3: Best. Christmas. Ever!

It looks real bad but I can't handle Hot Frosty at 1:30 on a weekday afternoon so I'm about to watch some drivel with Jason Biggs of American Pie fame as the male lead.

Look, I'm all here for dorky nostalgia dudes but like was Craig from Degrassi not available for this?

The crux of the conflict is that Brandy sent out a braggy holiday newsletter and through some kid shenanigans these college friends of hers and their kids end up at Brandy's house instead of the mom's sister's new house and then they get snowed in.

I can suspend a LOT of disbelief for a holiday movie but I'm supposed to believe Jason Biggs dated Brandy through college and now he's married to Heather Graham who is super jealous? HONESTLY.

Heather Graham is now snooping around Brandy's house trying to figure out how much of the newsletter is true and how much is an exaggeration, but so far it all checks out and Heather Graham is straight up not having a good time.

I was literally just thinking that I'd riot if there wasn't a scene engineered to have Brandy sing and *POOF* there it was, a microphone inexplicably in her hand singing Let It Snow while Jason Biggs accompanies her on guitar.

Brandy is so forgiving of Heather Graham's nonsense. Girl, I'm sorry that your life didn't turn out like you imagined but honestly most people's don't. Be an adult.

Heather Graham sunk their entire emergency fund into a house and then the company she works for implodes because of a thing she tried to blow the whistle about ages ago. So now it's a race against time to get to Salt Lake City to sign the papers to revoke it in person before everything closes for Christmas (and then make it back in time for the holiday pageant lol)

Anyway. Who buys a house without talking to their spouse about it??????????

Moving on to #3: Best. Christmas. Ever!

It looks real bad but I can't handle Hot Frosty at 1:30 on a weekday afternoon so I'm about to watch some drivel with Jason Biggs of American Pie fame as the male lead.

Look, I'm all here for dorky nostalgia dudes but like was Craig from Degrassi not available for this?

The crux of the conflict is that Brandy sent out a braggy holiday newsletter and through some kid shenanigans these college friends of hers and their kids end up at Brandy's house instead of the mom's sister's new house and then they get snowed in.

I can suspend a LOT of disbelief for a holiday movie but I'm supposed to believe Jason Biggs dated Brandy through college and now he's married to Heather Graham who is super jealous? HONESTLY.

Heather Graham is now snooping around Brandy's house trying to figure out how much of the newsletter is true and how much is an exaggeration, but so far it all checks out and Heather Graham is straight up not having a good time.

I was literally just thinking that I'd riot if there wasn't a scene engineered to have Brandy sing and *POOF* there it was, a microphone inexplicably in her hand singing Let It Snow while Jason Biggs accompanies her on guitar.

Brandy is so forgiving of Heather Graham's nonsense. Girl, I'm sorry that your life didn't turn out like you imagined but honestly most people's don't. Be an adult.

Moving on to #3: Best. Christmas. Ever!

It looks real bad but I can't handle Hot Frosty at 1:30 on a weekday afternoon so I'm about to watch some drivel with Jason Biggs of American Pie fame as the male lead.

Look, I'm all here for dorky nostalgia dudes but like was Craig from Degrassi not available for this?

The crux of the conflict is that Brandy sent out a braggy holiday newsletter and through some kid shenanigans these college friends of hers and their kids end up at Brandy's house instead of the mom's sister's new house and then they get snowed in.

I can suspend a LOT of disbelief for a holiday movie but I'm supposed to believe Jason Biggs dated Brandy through college and now he's married to Heather Graham who is super jealous? HONESTLY.

Heather Graham is now snooping around Brandy's house trying to figure out how much of the newsletter is true and how much is an exaggeration, but so far it all checks out and Heather Graham is straight up not having a good time.

I was literally just thinking that I'd riot if there wasn't a scene engineered to have Brandy sing and *POOF* there it was, a microphone inexplicably in her hand singing Let It Snow while Jason Biggs accompanies her on guitar.

Moving on to #3: Best. Christmas. Ever!

It looks real bad but I can't handle Hot Frosty at 1:30 on a weekday afternoon so I'm about to watch some drivel with Jason Biggs of American Pie fame as the male lead.

Look, I'm all here for dorky nostalgia dudes but like was Craig from Degrassi not available for this?

The crux of the conflict is that Brandy sent out a braggy holiday newsletter and through some kid shenanigans these college friends of hers and their kids end up at Brandy's house instead of the mom's sister's new house and then they get snowed in.

I can suspend a LOT of disbelief for a holiday movie but I'm supposed to believe Jason Biggs dated Brandy through college and now he's married to Heather Graham who is super jealous? HONESTLY.

Heather Graham is now snooping around Brandy's house trying to figure out how much of the newsletter is true and how much is an exaggeration, but so far it all checks out and Heather Graham is straight up not having a good time.

Moving on to #3: Best. Christmas. Ever!

It looks real bad but I can't handle Hot Frosty at 1:30 on a weekday afternoon so I'm about to watch some drivel with Jason Biggs of American Pie fame as the male lead.

Look, I'm all here for dorky nostalgia dudes but like was Craig from Degrassi not available for this?

The crux of the conflict is that Brandy sent out a braggy holiday newsletter and through some kid shenanigans these college friends of hers and their kids end up at Brandy's house instead of the mom's sister's new house and then they get snowed in.

I can suspend a LOT of disbelief for a holiday movie but I'm supposed to believe Jason Biggs dated Brandy through college and now he's married to Heather Graham who is super jealous? HONESTLY.