#the penguin – @batroguegalleryquotes on Tumblr

Scarecrow: Tower of Terror because some people bring their kids on the ride for some reason and dramatize them for life and they scream actual screams of fear (me. I was the kid ten years ago.)

Riddler: Carousel of Progress

Maxie Zeus: she doesn’t have one because they don’t have any rides based on Hercules :(

Talia: Is too busy watching her kids (the rogues) to have fun.

Penguin: The Enchanted Tiki Room (the one with all the birds)

Deadshot: The Haunted Mansion Because in the ride cannon you die halfway through

Rocket: Space Mountain/Mission: Space

Cheshire: The Rock n Roller Coaster (you thought I was gonna say something about Alice in Wonderland, didn’t ya?)

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*Rogues react to someone knocking on the door while they’re taking a shit*

Penguin, Ra’s, Hush, Mad Hatter, Freeze: Say “Occupied!”

Riddler, Ivy, Anarky, Talia, Deathstroke: Goes “Ahem” loudly

Harley, Firefly, Deadshot, Bane, Cluemaster: Knocks Back

Croc, Trogg, KGBeast, Killer Moth, Pyg: shits louder

Scarecrow, Manbat, Grundy, Film Freak, Jane Doe: screeches at the top of their lungs

Joker, Duela Dent, Bird, Copperhead, Alberto Falcone: Says “Come In.”

Two-Face, Zsasz, Zombi, Amygdala, Clayface: Opens the Door

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Penguin: Honestly, I just wish everyone would stop making short jokes about me. It doesn’t really help my self esteem.

Joker: That’s kind of a tall order, don’t you think?

Riddler: Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was such a big issue for you.

Hush: Aw, I feel bad for causing such an inconvenience, no matter how small it was.

Penguin: ...

Zsasz: *peeks into the room* You’re Short.

#dc #dc comics #batman #batman rogues #zsasz #mr zsasz #victor zsasz #joker #the joker #edward nygma #the riddler #oswald cobblepot #the penguin #hush #thomas elliott

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Riddler: It’s a known fact small creatures are more vicious than most. It’s because their anger has less space to be bottled up.

Hush: That’s ridiculous! Give me one good example.

Deadshot: Terriers.

Firefly: Wasps.

Talia: Spiders.

Zsasz: Penguin.

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Harley: Sometimes I feel like dying.

Ivy: WHA-

Harley: But then I remember if I die I won’t be able to see you again.

Ivy: AWWWW COME HERE! *hugs Harley*

Pengun: *watching the two of them, turns to Riddler* You know, sometimes I feel like dying-

Riddler: *Not looking up from his crossword puzzle* Good for you.

#batman #batman rogues #dc #dc comics #pamela isley #poison ivy #harleen quinzel #harley quinn #the riddler #riddler #edward nygma #the penguin #penguin #oswald cobblepot

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Zsasz: There’s a monster under my bed and it’s ugly.

Penguin: *on the bottom bunk bed* ...fuck you.

#batman #batman rogues #dc #dc comics #penguin #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #victor zsasz #zsasz #mr zsasz

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Penguin: What’s something you can say both during dinner and sex.

Zsasz: This’d be a lot more fun if you were alive.

The Rogues: ...

Ivy: That’s it I’m out. *leaves*

#batman #batman rogues #dc #dc comics #pamela isley #poison ivy #the penguin #penguin #oswald cobblepot #zsasz #victor zsasz #mr zsasz

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Big DC Supervillain: *gets killed off*

The Rogues: *All in one car*

Joker and Harley: *singing* On top of spaghetti! All covered with cheese!-

Penguin: If you don’t mind, we’re on our way to a funeral!

Joker: ...Ding dong, the witch is dead!

Harley: Which old witch!?

Joker: The wicked witch!

#batman #batman rogues #dc #dc comics #harleen quinzel #harley quinn #joker #the joker #jarley #penguin #the penguin #oswald cobblepot

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Zsasz: Oswald, truth or dare.

Penguin: Truth.

Zsasz: Was The moon landing faked?

Penguin: ...Wha-

Harley: ANSWER THE QUESTION, PENGUIN!

#batman #batman rogues #dc #dc comics #harleen quinzel #harley quinn #penguin #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #zsasz #mr zsasz #victor zsasz

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Harley: Hey, what time is it?

Zsasz: I don’t know. Pass me that saxophone and I’ll find out.

Harley: Okay.

Zsasz: *inhales before blowing into the sax as loud as he can*

Penguin: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT 2 AM!?

Zsasz: *turns to Harley* it’s 2 am.

#batman #batman rogues #dc #dc comics #harleen quinzel #harley quinn #zsasz #victor zsasz #mr zsasz #penguin #the penguin #oswald cobblepot

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Penguin: Pass me my keys.

Zsasz: Okay. *throws printer through penguin’s car window*

Penguin: ...I said keys.

Zsasz: Oh, I thought you said printer.

Penguin: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I SAY PRINTER!?

#batman #batman rogues #dc #dc comics #victor zsasz #zsasz #mr zsasz #the penguin #penguin #oswald cobblepot

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Guy Rogues: *Hanging Out on a roof during guy’s night out*

Firefly: Hey check out that guy going through the dumpster!

Joker: Ha! What an idiot!

Guy in Dumpster: *is Penguin*

Zsasz: Oh god, that’s our idiot.

#batman #batman rogues #dc #dc comics #joker #the joker #victor zsasz #zsasz #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #firefly #garfield lynns

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Joker: I wrapped Harley up in wrapping paper.

Penguin: Is it because she’s your little gift?

Joker: No it’s because she wouldn’t shut up and she was getting on my nerves.

#batman #batman rogues #dc #dc comics #harleen quinzel #harley quinn #joker #the joker #penguin #the penguin #oswald cobblepot